To have told DD this was rude of my granddaughter?

[BlossomOnTrees]

Granddaughter is developing an attitude. She has just turned 9.
She was cross with me today as I wanted to take the shorter walk to school due to time purposes and she wanted to take the longer.
In school I was with the younger grandkids tending to them when I looked up and GD had disappeared. In a panic, I looked around and could not find her. After about 5 minutes I saw her lined up on the other side of the playground about to go in. Am I overreacting to be both hurt she did not say goodbye but also annoyed that she did that?

You were busy. She was supposed to be somewhere. If she'd interrupted you to say goodbye you'd have been annoyed that she was rude to interrupt.

So all she did was walk over to where she was meant to be but without saying goodbye? I think you are over reacting!

You probably need to pick your battles right now . She’s starting to grow up and find a bit of independence.

She’s a child that was sulking and went to line up, it’s normal. Nothing wrong with telling her off for walking off without saying anything and not saying bye, but it’s not exactly a big deal is it? Not sure it’s worth bothering about it after and needing to tell her mum.

She got herself organised when you were distracted
She didn't shout goodbye but it's not the end of the world

You were distracted, she went off to be where she was supposed to be.

I get why you're annoyed but as an oldest child I lost count the amount of times I was late into to school (even though we were at the school gates) because the younger siblings were being tended to, and then being told off by the teacher for being late.

Might it have been thoughtlessness rather than rudeness OP? Worth having a little chat with her though, so it doesn't happen again.

The attitude regarding the walk sounds a bit rude; the heading off perhaps less so. Did you tell your DD?

Yabu, you were busy , she was probably talking to her friends and just walked to the line, where she was supposed to be.

If she would normally interrupt you to say bye bye and therefore she acted like yang because she was sulking over the route to school of prob say something but if you were busy and she wouldn’t normally interrupt you then I think your reaction is OTT

You were busy, she needed to get in line. You are over reacting.

I don’t think it was rude.

It was possibly thoughtless, and inconsiderate, but then your granddaughter is a young child. She may not have realised how you would be worried about her when you noticed she was ‘missing’ - she was just doing what she needed to do, and was in the right place in time to go in - from her point of view she was being helpful and doing the right thing.

It is worth a chat about not leaving without saying goodbye, or letting the adult in charge know where you are going, but it isn’t worth blowing it up into a huge thing about being rude, because I’m not sure that she was being rude.

They usually run off to play with their friends before lining up. Mine normally comes back to me and grabs her bag and says bye before doing this. You were busy and she had a pout on. It’s not the end of the world. I would say ‘I missed having a kiss goodbye this morning’ and leave it at that.

In a year or two she will be walking to school on her own so encouraging independence now is no bad thing. In future just say goodbye at the gate and send her in.

Half your OP was missing. Your title says you told your DD this was rude. I take it you've had a disagreement with your daughter?

Thoughtless maybe, not rude

As the eldest with younger siblings, I have lost count how many times I spoke to my parents when I was younger and they didn't hear me as they were too busy 'tending to the young ones'. I stopped bothering in the end tbh.

YABU.

She's 9, holding her to the same standards you would an adult is unfair. She did what was expected of her, she was lining up to go to class. Speak to her tonight and explain how her behaviour made you feel, but don't turn this into a song and a dance.

Massive overreaction. A lot of 9 year old’s walk to and from school alone, she isn’t a baby and what she did was honesty fine.

You told on her? To her mum, your own adult daughter? You told on a 9 year old who was just being ... 9?

Don't become like my mother. My sisters and I gave up on her 'helping' in the end as it was just ten tonnes of criticism of our daughters for every ounce of practical help.

In fact she now has zero contact with all of us. Her doing. Meanwhile, we're all still friends with our former babysitters, childminders and the women who ran the breakfast & after-school clubs, while grandma sulks away her remaining years.

Maybe talk calmly to your granddaughter about how you like to be on time, and say goodbye. Be a role model of nice, calm communication.

@Cattitudes

In a year or two she will be walking to school on her own so encouraging independence now is no bad thing. In future just say goodbye at the gate and send her in.

^^ this! My 9 year old races off to play with his friends, sometimes I get forgotten about but he's in school and distracted, in a good way. Don't build barriers, enjoy your GC and don't cause unnecessary friction

People are acting like these are your children. You are doing your DD and partner, if she has one, a massive favour getting her DC to school. I don't think a "Bye nan" is really too much to ask. Perhaps stepback from childcare if your DD has different views to you on how her DC behave when with you.

Lol. Reverse I hope

I think you are overreacting , she was where she was supposed to be .

Maybe your granddaughter did say goodbye but you didn't hear it because you were talking to the younger DGC? Or she knows not to interrupt you when you're busy with the younger ones? Maybe she thought you'd notice her lining up properly, like she's supposed to do every day?

I mean, she's only just 9.