To have told DD this was rude of my granddaughter?

[BlossomOnTrees]

Granddaughter is developing an attitude. She has just turned 9.
She was cross with me today as I wanted to take the shorter walk to school due to time purposes and she wanted to take the longer.
In school I was with the younger grandkids tending to them when I looked up and GD had disappeared. In a panic, I looked around and could not find her. After about 5 minutes I saw her lined up on the other side of the playground about to go in. Am I overreacting to be both hurt she did not say goodbye but also annoyed that she did that?

My DM can sometimes get a bit huffy with my DC if they are ‘rude’ often I think this is just her interpretation of their behaviour/situation and I wouldn’t necessarily have the time or inclination to pull them up on these things routinely. Having said that, she’s also had to get used to autistic DD and her rigid, fixed way of things having to be done, and that doesn’t always come easily to anyone!

The thing is op was going to have a nanny for her school aged children, so it's not like she's forgotten how children behave. She has at least one at the moment. I wonder what they are like.

I'll admit to being slightly confused by this thread.

OP says she's cross because DGD didn't say goodbye whilst OP was distracted so she had to spend 5 minutes looking for her.

Then OP says DGD could have said goodbye and OP wouldn't have heard because she was distracted and DGD was actually standing exactly where she should be in the playground that she spent 5 minutes scanning for her.

Your references to her attitude and using this as an example just make it sound as though you don't like her much. I would be a bit if my DM came to me with this 'complaint'.

The general attitude is personably best ignored and it wouldn’t hurt me, it’s just immaturity. But I would make it clear to her that she needs to tell you if she is going to line up and she needs to make sure you that you hear her, as it’s not fair for you to worry where she is. She would have known you would be panicking and that’s not ok.

*probably best ignored

So did you report this back to your daughter or are you asking if you should? In which case the answer would be no.

You sound like hard work!

My mum often pulled her grandkids up on "not saying thank you" and things like that. The thing is, they had said it, she just didn't hear them. It seems quite possible DGD could have said "Bye" and went off but she wasn't heard because she was quiet, or there was a lot of playground noise just then, or because OP was distracted with the younger kid(s).

If DGD did go off in the playground deliberately without saying anything, she should be reminded that this isn't polite. It's not the end of the world that a cross person doesn't say it because they're in a grump, but I wouldn't say it was a "I'm going to speak to your mother!" level either. Even if they have always been good about this before.

I wouldn't get panicky about not seeing the child in the playground either (unless they're a runner) as they will still be there somewhere and DGD did as she was supposed to, when she was supposed to. Once in the playground they're in school mode.

Have you said anything to your DD? What was her response?

@mustlovegin

If you want your grandchildren to choose to spend time with you when they get to an age that’s it’s their choice

By that time, if the children are so spoilt and treat her like a doormat, the OP will be likely glad to see the back of them TBH

Yeah, because there’s every indicator from what’s been posted here that all the OPs GC are going to be ‘so spoilt’ isn’t there.

Do you even like children, do you have GC and if so, do your DC know you have this kind of attitude towards them? I’d be keeping you at arms length from mine, that’s for sure!

This poor little girl, who really hasn’t done anything wrong at all !!

@mustlovegin

I look after my sDGC frequently and don't go running to their mum/dad telling tales

Well, clearly this is upsetting the OP, otherwise she wouldn't be posting.

She's probably on upaid duty as we speak when she could be out with her friends relaxing with a bubbly.

Dear god! More OTT assumptions from you. Unpaid duty, which presumably she does willingly for her DD. Suggesting the OP should be off swilling bubbly in the middle of the day 😂

Lot of reference to alcohol in your posts…I think it’s safe to say what your priorities are and as such you are in an extremely poor position to be judging anyone else, least of all a 10 year old girl (who would work out pretty quickly that you’d rather be boozing)