Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To have told DD this was rude of my granddaughter?

135 replies

BlossomOnTrees · 21/09/2021 10:26

Granddaughter is developing an attitude. She has just turned 9.
She was cross with me today as I wanted to take the shorter walk to school due to time purposes and she wanted to take the longer.
In school I was with the younger grandkids tending to them when I looked up and GD had disappeared. In a panic, I looked around and could not find her. After about 5 minutes I saw her lined up on the other side of the playground about to go in. Am I overreacting to be both hurt she did not say goodbye but also annoyed that she did that?

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 21/09/2021 11:14

Yeah that’s not nice op. You didn’t even see her go and totally ignored her for at least five mins, when she should have been under your care.
She could have went anywhere, she’s only nine

And then to make it worse to tell on her in the hope to get her into trouble is quite unpleasant.

PheasantsNest · 21/09/2021 11:18

Get a grip. She's a child who wanted to line up with her friends.

noprofessional · 21/09/2021 11:20

have a word with yourself!

goldshade · 21/09/2021 11:28

Seriously. You should be proud that she's organized herself and got into the class line as she is supposed to.
A pat on the back is what you should be doing, not considering berating her.

...and some grandparents wonder why they end up low contact with their families...

TintinIsBack · 21/09/2021 11:29

You see I disagree with most posters.

I am all for encouraging independance etc... but going in a sulk and making a point of not saying goodbye is not on imo. That's much closer to a very PA way to tell the OP to piss off.

Whether this is what the child did or whether she was just playing on the other side of the playground and realised she had to hurry up very much depends on what has happened just before.
Was she with the OP until the last minute and then went into line wo saying a word to the OP?
Or was she playig wioth her friends on the playground further away and then went in the line?

Impossible to say from the OP said.

Dixiechickonhols · 21/09/2021 11:31

Not rude but I can see why you were worried if you couldn’t see her. You are in charge of her and were worried you couldn’t see her. She just needs reminding let grandma know she off to line up. She was doing what she needed to. It’s not like she’s run off in road. You were busy with little ones. She’s probably used to just getting in line with friends when she gets there.

TintinIsBack · 21/09/2021 11:31

Seriously. You should be proud that she's organized herself and got into the class line as she is supposed to.

I don't know but I certainly expected my dcs to do that at 9yo. I don't think it's something to be proud off or need to be celebrated?pat on the back etc....
I mean they are doing that several times a day when parents arent around and have done it for quite a few years too.

Why do some people think it's an amazing feat?

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 21/09/2021 11:31

I don't think it is your daughter's job to mediate between the two of you.
Tell her you were worried when you couldn't see where she was, and ask her to let you know next time, even if she's cross with you, because it is your job to keep her safe even if the two of you have exchanged cross words.

Goldbar · 21/09/2021 11:32

Yes, it was rude... assuming she didn't shout "bye grandma" and you just didn't hear her.

longtompot · 21/09/2021 11:35

Just say to your gd you were worried when you couldn't see her and to let you know next time if she had to go and line up. Though I suspect if you say she is developing an attitude you may be being short with her and she didn't want you to be like that before she went into school, which is why she went. Or, you didn't hear her say goodbye. But I would approach her about this with you were worried rather than her being rude.

Auroreforet · 21/09/2021 11:35

Why not say
Thanks for sorting yourself out when I was busy with the little one.
In future could you shout bye to me because I didn't hear you this morning and was a bit worried until I saw you.

girlmom21 · 21/09/2021 11:36

She wasn't rude. You're just causing your daughter grief for no reason.

BobbiPinsOn · 21/09/2021 11:39

you are overacting

QforCucumber · 21/09/2021 11:44

@Cam001

People are acting like these are your children. You are doing your DD and partner, if she has one, a massive favour getting her DC to school. I don't think a "Bye nan" is really too much to ask. Perhaps stepback from childcare if your DD has different views to you on how her DC behave when with you.

DS who is in Year one hardly ever says bye to me, he plays with his friends then when they open the door he runs inside - I don't berate him for it, if anything I laugh and am glad he's happy to go into school.

Ughmaybenot · 21/09/2021 11:47

You’re causing an issue where there really isn’t one. Can’t believe you’re even giving this headspace tbh.

ShowMeHow · 21/09/2021 11:47

Maybe you didn’t hear her say goodbye 🤷‍♀️

diddl · 21/09/2021 11:48

So if you were all in the playground when you lost sight of her, realistically, where did you think she was?

How many younger ones & how old?

Can she often not do what she wants because of them?

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 21/09/2021 11:48

The assumption that she made a point of not saying goodbye is unwarranted. You weren’t watching. It could well be that she was playing and a friend or teacher or playground assistant called her over into the line and she didn’t have time to run back, or looked across and saw you were busy.

You’re assuming the worst of her and she’s only nine. This won’t do anything good for your relationship.

And even if she was sulking a bit, it’s completely ott for you to be ‘hurt’.

LIZS · 21/09/2021 11:48

She was probably distracted by friends, thought you were busy and was confident enough to go it alone. Explain you were worried that you did not know where she was and could she tell you before going next time.

C8H10N4O2 · 21/09/2021 11:53

She's 9.

She may be a budding Machiavelli but more likely she is just being 9 in a school playground.

SweetSymphony · 21/09/2021 11:58

Shocked at some of these posts.
Of course she was rude. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, she may have said goodbye and you did not hear so just make sure you have a chat with her next time and make sure that she needs to say goodbye to you so you know where she is. But you are definitely not being unreasonable. I would have been annoyed and worried as well.

Nomorepies · 21/09/2021 11:58

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

diddl · 21/09/2021 12:06

Just tell her you didn't hear her say goodbye & were worried, so to make sure that she says it/you hear her.

hiredandsqueak · 21/09/2021 12:08

I would have spoken to the dgc rather than raising it with dd tbh. When I care for dgs then I would address any behaviours whilst I have him. He knows already that Granny's rules and Mama's rules aren't always the same. I don't think you were unreasonable to expect a goodbye from your granddaughter, that said you'd need to ask that she didn't say goodbye and you missed it whilst busy with the other gc.

diddl · 21/09/2021 12:10

What has your daughter said Op?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread