AIBU? I feel differently about my friends since my wedding?

[JackieBrown63]

Trying to keep a long story short..... :S

I don't have many friends, a LOT of acquaintances but few what I would say good/close friends. I asked my best friend since school to be my MOH and my brother's girlfriend I asked to be my bridesmaid because she's been in the family for years and I love her to bits! None of my other friends/acquaintances came to my hen do or wedding for various reasons which is fine it just upset me a little in the lead up to the wedding.

My MOH completely took over my hen do and decided she wanted to surprise me rather than do what I actually asked for and wanted. She did the same for my hen do as her own. She also uninvited my mum to the day which really bothered me because I'd promised her we would do something together during the daytime.

The day of my wedding was awful, my MOH and bridesmaid kept making fun of the dresses I'd picked for them, decorations, colours and my wedding dress. It hurt me a lot but I laughed it off at the time. My MOD told my mum I never wanted to get married I only wanted a fancy party, which is not true I married the love of my life and we had a very cheap wedding. My MOD in particular never said anything nice to me, only complained about what was wrong with the wedding decisions me and my husband made. I have hardly heard from her since. My husband and I had an incredible day - it was magical for us and everything we wanted. However, I can't help but feel different about my friendships after all this. There was a lot of other stuff that happened that I've chosen to leave out but is this normal to feel this way? I don't know how to get over this feeling.

[Mumontour85]

Ummm, they sound like awful people, or MOH is terrible and egged the other one on into joining the bitching. Either way, they don't sound like people you need in your life.

I'm so sorry they've marred your happy day with such silliness. Ditch em, be happy happy your husband. And if you do see them socially, be sure to wear yellow and fucking OWN IT making comments about how you have to be pretty to pull it off!!!!

[Localocal]

I love those dresses. Maybe a little jealousy on the part of your MOH that you are marrying the love of your life and get to be the centre of attention for once?

I'm sorry your friends did not support you on the day, and I hope you can move on and make new friends. It sounds like that's the way forward.

[jwpetal]

I am sorry this happened on your wedding day and the event surrounding the day. There does appear to be some passive nature and people are starting to ignore you. I know you wanted this for your husband, but where were your desires and wants. Not for others but for you. Take time with all this and think about what you want your life to be like with your dh and those around you and find some help to find your desires for the future.

[thinkingaboutLangCleg]

Your friends sound like a nightmare, OP. I’m glad you managed to enjoy your wedding day and also have some time with your mum, despite them. Now to continue being happy with DH and your family, who love you, and to enjoy making some new friends.

[calvados]

Sometimes you find that others cannot bear other people’s happiness as it reminds them of what is lacking in their own. What she thinks of you is none of your business. Go build a life with your husband and don’t make your friend’s problems your own. You seem pretty self sufficient tbh!

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

On the face of it, your MOH and bridesmaid sound awful. However the whole day (and the lead up to it) sound so very odd. None of your friends could go to your wedding? Really, none? And so many of the plans seem to have been out of your hands, when everyone knows the bride is the one who calls the shots.

And then you say the day of the wedding was awful, but then you say it was magical... I can't help wondering if the whole thing felt awkward and your bridesmaids were trying to smooth things over with bad jokes.

[Crystal8559]

A true friend would make sure you enjoyed what YOU wanted to do and not force her ideas on you, as for the behaviour at your wedding - totally uncalled for and a terrible thing to do to you when they should have been supporting you. You’re not being unreasonable and I’m glad that the day was still magical for both you and your husband, so sad to hear that they made you feel like that Op. Wishing both you and your hubby a life full of love and happiness together x

[CallmeBadJanet]

@JackieBrown63 They’re jealous, so they made snarky comments to put you down. Even if there aspects of someone’s wedding that are not your thing, you keep your mouth shut. That’s being kind and caring. Sack’em, life is too short. Congratulations BTW, and enjoy married life.

[Gingerandlemont]

Your friends sound horrible OP. And you sound really nice. It sounds like (and I don’t mean this in a mean way) you make excuses for people treating you badly. You deserve better.

Congratulations on your wedding. I’m sure you will make some better friends in the next stage of your life.

[MrsTulipTattsyrup]

@JackieBrown63

The hen do was a surprise so I didn't know my mum wasn't going until I got the "destination". She came to the evening thankfully.

I didn't stand up for myself because it was my wedding day - I was more focused on marrying my husband than what they were saying. It's only now it's all over, I've had time to reflect and I can't shake this nagging feeling. I think I will just distance myself a little and see them once in a while.

Well, you’re something of a saint to be even considering seeing either of them again! I would have been utterly enraged, torn strips off them and sent them home when they started up. Do you think they deliberately chose what they thought were laughable dresses (they aren’t, by the way)? Did they ‘set you up’, as it were, to be a laughing stock on your wedding day?

Neither of these women deserve a moment more of your time, OP. These are not the actions of people who like and care about you.

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

all along I wanted to go for a fun/silly day out at this particular adventure park. It was affordable and close by and my family were all up for it
So do it!! There's nothing wrong with a post wedding get together, and if all your family are up for it and its nearby, why not invite them. They seem to want it and it might take away the bad taste left by MOH's rude and obnoxious behaviour/comments ( your BM dresses were simple and elegant and of a style that would suit most people and there was no reason for her remarks)
Make a real occasion of it. You could have a nice picnic hamper and cake in the car and just enjoy spending time with your lovely DH and people that really care about you. Move on from this Beeatch... and have fun. It will still be nice weather in the autumn

[AuntMargo]

Your post is sad, in the main because you call this MOH your friend, she is most certainly not your friend and seem to want to belittle and make fun of you. Send her a message telling her just how horrible she is from all us and that you never want to see her again. Then delete her number and from your social media.

[Elit]

Maybe it’s time to make new friends, better ones ,making fun it’s a no no. It is a very big deal , nerve wracking but also supposed to be fun and happy day.It’s sad really. But hey you got married to the love of your life, take your mom somewhere nice just you and her this time ;) in my opinion it was just jealousy. All the best

[StrandedStarfish]

I had a similar experience to you OP. Some of my relatives were awful, as were some of my husband’s relatives on our wedding day. Many guests were shocked by the way that some members of the wedding party behaved.

Shortly after our wedding, a friend of a friend bought me a little plaque which said ‘ If at the end of your wedding day, you are married to the love of your life, then that is all that truly matters’. I still have it and we have been married for 29 years.

I wish you health and happiness for the years ahead.

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

@StrandedStarfish Agree. That was really nice of your friend, she was right.

[Coco90]

Hi @JackieBrown63. I’ve only read a few peoples replies and I just wanted to say you really do not have to explain yourself to strangers why none of your friends could come to your wedding. I think people need to realise before they question “if there’s more to this story”, that true friends can be extremely hard to come by, especially in todays world. Regardless of the back story, your MOH sounds pathetic and like they don’t value or have any respect for you and you should definitely leave that behind! Life’s too short for that nonsense and negativity. All that matters is you and your husband and your families.. and the “friends” who actually want to be in your life and see you happy. Rise above the bullshit

[gofg]

What a pair of bitches!!! You obviously can't get rid of your brother's g/friend, but I wouldn't be putting myself out to be friendly to her, and as for the MOH - she would never be hearing from me again. Life is too short to put up with this sort of rubbish.

I'm pleased you and your DH managed to have a lovely day despite their extremely childish antics. You deserve better friends OP.

[MyPatronusIsACat]

I am confused. You said 'the day of the wedding was awful.' Then later in the post you said 'it was a magical day for my husband and I, and everything we ever wanted.' So which is it? Or did you mean on the day of the wedding, the behaviour of your maid of honour was awful?

Anyway, your 'friend' sounds like a prize bitch, and is very likely jealous of you. As a few posters have said, uninviting your mum is very odd, and very rude. I'd ghost her, she sounds awful... The other woman doesn't sound too great either.

Also have to agree with a few others that ALL of your friends/friendly acquaintances not going is a bit weird.

All of this said, I am sure you and your DH will be very happy.

[winnieanddaisy]

@Weemo41 . You're on the wrong thread but you can renew your driving license online using your passport for photo evidence . Only takes a week or do to come . Good luck

[Blueink]

So sorry OP, great your husband had so many ideas you liked and the dresses were pretty and complimentary to navy suits. Sorry about your friends, they do sound horrible. I don’t blame you for being upset. Can you speak to them about how you feel? Otherwise yes, I would concentrate on building your other friendships.
Maybe you can do something special with your Mum to make up for her missing the daytime hen do?
Don’t dwell too much.

[Angie1403]

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Your maid of honour sounds like an absolute prick. Uninviting your mum from the hen do daytime stuff can only be described as cuntish. Properly horrible. I would be massively taking a step back from her and wouldn't see her as a friend. Your poor mum bless her.

This. All day long. I couldn’t have said it better.
You don’t need people like that in your life. Your BiLs girlfriend has no excuse for her behaviour as she will have known you were on a tight budget so she is a waste of oxygen. Ghost them and get on with your new chapter

[Backwaterjunction]

They just don’t like you

[EmeraldShamrock]

Yanbu to feel differently about her, we outgrow friendships she was very immature and opinionated.

[Hankunamatata]

You said you laughed along with them. So either your a walk over or uses to their humour