AIBU? I feel differently about my friends since my wedding?

[JackieBrown63]

Trying to keep a long story short..... :S

I don't have many friends, a LOT of acquaintances but few what I would say good/close friends. I asked my best friend since school to be my MOH and my brother's girlfriend I asked to be my bridesmaid because she's been in the family for years and I love her to bits! None of my other friends/acquaintances came to my hen do or wedding for various reasons which is fine it just upset me a little in the lead up to the wedding.

My MOH completely took over my hen do and decided she wanted to surprise me rather than do what I actually asked for and wanted. She did the same for my hen do as her own. She also uninvited my mum to the day which really bothered me because I'd promised her we would do something together during the daytime.

The day of my wedding was awful, my MOH and bridesmaid kept making fun of the dresses I'd picked for them, decorations, colours and my wedding dress. It hurt me a lot but I laughed it off at the time. My MOD told my mum I never wanted to get married I only wanted a fancy party, which is not true I married the love of my life and we had a very cheap wedding. My MOD in particular never said anything nice to me, only complained about what was wrong with the wedding decisions me and my husband made. I have hardly heard from her since. My husband and I had an incredible day - it was magical for us and everything we wanted. However, I can't help but feel different about my friendships after all this. There was a lot of other stuff that happened that I've chosen to leave out but is this normal to feel this way? I don't know how to get over this feeling.

[Bertiebiscuit]

Get new friends and don't look back

[pollyanna1962]

I got married in 1984 the days of big meringue dresses and my 3 adult bridesmaids didnt like their dresses, looking back I dont blame them, but hey it was one day. They didnt poke fun all day though but I still knew they hated them.

[ElizabethBoland]

Agree with others that this story ticks every box for classic mumsnet nightmare bridesmaid. You said the day was awful, but also you and your husband had a good day?
So perhaps looking back you see things were shitty but if you had a good day no need to ponder over what you can’t change. If your question is should you still be mates then no, should you be annoyed? Yes. But it won’t changed now so just sack her off and move on.
Interested to hear how your brother’s girlfriend behaved?

[Mollymoostoo]

My MIL had a face on her all day, my SIL said my bridal gown wasn't wedding-y enough and they let their kids waste the disposable cameras left on the tables. I spent hours making wedding favours they left on the tables and moaned about us getting married in Scotland so close to Christmas.
My family were happy, kept all the favours, danced all night and loved the bagpiper.
You can't please all people and family occasions being out the best and worse in people.
Just remember the day that you enjoyed and don't let them steal your joy. They are not married to you so you don't have to put up with this now.

[gettingolderbutcooler]

UNINVITED your MUM?
And you still thought- this is a lovely woman that I still want as my MOH?
sighs

[1mumm]

"Yellow mesh sleeves" ...sounds hideous. OP - You posted a link to a sleeveless, strapless frock, not one with yellow mesh sleeves.

Regardless they don't sound like good friends at all but if they disliked you, they would have skipped the wedding like your other friends. Just drop them & keep it moving with the people in your life who make you happy.

[Barmychick]

MzHz This

[dearfanny]

Honestly, why do people need a matron of honour? And then let them arrange the hen do? Why cant you arrange your own hen and then it would have been what you wanted ?

And then make two adult women wear matching yellow frocks? No wonder they were
Annoyed

[Mamanyt]

Well, either you suck it up and continue to be friends, or you decide that with shitty friends, you don't need enemas. I'd go with the second, myself.

BTW...in this case, it sounds as if "MOH" stands for Maid of Horror."

[Hankunamatata]

You said you laughed along with them. So either your a walk over or uses to their humour

[EmeraldShamrock]

Yanbu to feel differently about her, we outgrow friendships she was very immature and opinionated.

[Backwaterjunction]

They just don’t like you

[Angie1403]

@youvegottenminuteslynn

Your maid of honour sounds like an absolute prick. Uninviting your mum from the hen do daytime stuff can only be described as cuntish. Properly horrible. I would be massively taking a step back from her and wouldn't see her as a friend. Your poor mum bless her.

This. All day long. I couldn’t have said it better.
You don’t need people like that in your life. Your BiLs girlfriend has no excuse for her behaviour as she will have known you were on a tight budget so she is a waste of oxygen. Ghost them and get on with your new chapter

[Blueink]

So sorry OP, great your husband had so many ideas you liked and the dresses were pretty and complimentary to navy suits. Sorry about your friends, they do sound horrible. I don’t blame you for being upset. Can you speak to them about how you feel? Otherwise yes, I would concentrate on building your other friendships.
Maybe you can do something special with your Mum to make up for her missing the daytime hen do?
Don’t dwell too much.

[winnieanddaisy]

@Weemo41 . You're on the wrong thread but you can renew your driving license online using your passport for photo evidence . Only takes a week or do to come . Good luck

[MyPatronusIsACat]

I am confused. You said 'the day of the wedding was awful.' Then later in the post you said 'it was a magical day for my husband and I, and everything we ever wanted.' So which is it? Or did you mean on the day of the wedding, the behaviour of your maid of honour was awful?

Anyway, your 'friend' sounds like a prize bitch, and is very likely jealous of you. As a few posters have said, uninviting your mum is very odd, and very rude. I'd ghost her, she sounds awful... The other woman doesn't sound too great either.

Also have to agree with a few others that ALL of your friends/friendly acquaintances not going is a bit weird.

All of this said, I am sure you and your DH will be very happy.

[gofg]

What a pair of bitches!!! You obviously can't get rid of your brother's g/friend, but I wouldn't be putting myself out to be friendly to her, and as for the MOH - she would never be hearing from me again. Life is too short to put up with this sort of rubbish.

I'm pleased you and your DH managed to have a lovely day despite their extremely childish antics. You deserve better friends OP.

[Coco90]

Hi @JackieBrown63. I’ve only read a few peoples replies and I just wanted to say you really do not have to explain yourself to strangers why none of your friends could come to your wedding. I think people need to realise before they question “if there’s more to this story”, that true friends can be extremely hard to come by, especially in todays world. Regardless of the back story, your MOH sounds pathetic and like they don’t value or have any respect for you and you should definitely leave that behind! Life’s too short for that nonsense and negativity. All that matters is you and your husband and your families.. and the “friends” who actually want to be in your life and see you happy. Rise above the bullshit

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

@StrandedStarfish Agree. That was really nice of your friend, she was right.

[StrandedStarfish]

I had a similar experience to you OP. Some of my relatives were awful, as were some of my husband’s relatives on our wedding day. Many guests were shocked by the way that some members of the wedding party behaved.

Shortly after our wedding, a friend of a friend bought me a little plaque which said ‘ If at the end of your wedding day, you are married to the love of your life, then that is all that truly matters’. I still have it and we have been married for 29 years.

I wish you health and happiness for the years ahead.

[Elit]

Maybe it’s time to make new friends, better ones ,making fun it’s a no no. It is a very big deal , nerve wracking but also supposed to be fun and happy day.It’s sad really. But hey you got married to the love of your life, take your mom somewhere nice just you and her this time ;) in my opinion it was just jealousy. All the best

[AuntMargo]

Your post is sad, in the main because you call this MOH your friend, she is most certainly not your friend and seem to want to belittle and make fun of you. Send her a message telling her just how horrible she is from all us and that you never want to see her again. Then delete her number and from your social media.

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

all along I wanted to go for a fun/silly day out at this particular adventure park. It was affordable and close by and my family were all up for it
So do it!! There's nothing wrong with a post wedding get together, and if all your family are up for it and its nearby, why not invite them. They seem to want it and it might take away the bad taste left by MOH's rude and obnoxious behaviour/comments ( your BM dresses were simple and elegant and of a style that would suit most people and there was no reason for her remarks)
Make a real occasion of it. You could have a nice picnic hamper and cake in the car and just enjoy spending time with your lovely DH and people that really care about you. Move on from this Beeatch... and have fun. It will still be nice weather in the autumn

[MrsTulipTattsyrup]

@JackieBrown63

The hen do was a surprise so I didn't know my mum wasn't going until I got the "destination". She came to the evening thankfully.

I didn't stand up for myself because it was my wedding day - I was more focused on marrying my husband than what they were saying. It's only now it's all over, I've had time to reflect and I can't shake this nagging feeling. I think I will just distance myself a little and see them once in a while.

Well, you’re something of a saint to be even considering seeing either of them again! I would have been utterly enraged, torn strips off them and sent them home when they started up. Do you think they deliberately chose what they thought were laughable dresses (they aren’t, by the way)? Did they ‘set you up’, as it were, to be a laughing stock on your wedding day?

Neither of these women deserve a moment more of your time, OP. These are not the actions of people who like and care about you.

[Gingerandlemont]

Your friends sound horrible OP. And you sound really nice. It sounds like (and I don’t mean this in a mean way) you make excuses for people treating you badly. You deserve better.

Congratulations on your wedding. I’m sure you will make some better friends in the next stage of your life.