Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I over reacting - controlling SIL

452 replies

bagpuss90 · 19/09/2021 23:25

We have a family holiday booked -eight of us going . I’d rather be going away with just DP but his mum died last year ,and he wants a holiday with his family which I’ve reluctantly agreed to. My sister in law - who has rubbed me up the wrong way several times over the years has surpassed herself. She’s announced that she “wants to be organised “ and has asked that we all hand our passports over to her for safe keeping and she will hold onto them for the duration of the holiday. I’ve point blank refused-I’m old enough and ugly enough to look after my own passport thank you. It’s the principle -plus can you imagine if she lost the lot of then. It’s made me dread the holiday- I think she’ll want to run the show - DP thinks I’m over reacting . She’s said I’m a control freak-wtf ?? Having serious thoughts about not going, but under the circumstances it’s not that easy to bail out now

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 26/09/2021 17:03

Of the holiday?
Probably for the best.

QueenBee52 · 26/09/2021 17:09

@bagpuss90

Update- I’ve bailed out!
Totally justified Grin
Brollywasntneededafterall · 26/09/2021 17:27

Omg come back op!!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 26/09/2021 18:15

@bagpuss90 - so you're not going now? Is your DH still going though?

DartmoorDoughnut · 26/09/2021 18:30

I’m torn, half of me is delighted for you and the other half is rather disappointed as I was looking forward to updates from the disaster of a holiday!

3luckystars · 26/09/2021 21:40

Of just the holiday? TELL US!!!!!!

Newestname002 · 27/09/2021 08:39

@bagpuss90

Update- I’ve bailed out!
Good for you OP! Bet that caused a bit of consternation!! How did this go down with your husband (who should be supporting your decision) and "she who must be obeyed"?

Stay strong! 🌹

CMZ2018 · 27/09/2021 08:44

I don’t blame you!

LookItsMeAgain · 27/09/2021 13:44

@bagpuss90

Update- I’ve bailed out!
Bailed out of what though? The entire trip or just handing over your passport or what?
QueenBee52 · 27/09/2021 14:05

Sounds like the entire trip 😂

Bonheurdupasse · 27/09/2021 15:34

Well done OP!

ohfourfoxache · 27/09/2021 15:42

You can’t just tell us you’ve bailed without telling us what happened!

#nosey

honeybuns007 · 27/09/2021 17:24

I want details of their reaction

diddl · 28/09/2021 09:05

Ooh!

Tell us more Op!

KingdomScrolls · 28/09/2021 09:12

The SIL sounds controlling and maybe anxious people like her often are and taking control is how they manage it, but you've bailed on a whole holiday over this? Not sure I would.

FWIW I keep our passports on holiday including DHs, mainly so we don't get stuck in Morocco again, he also got detained by immigration coming back once before we were together, because he'd lost his passport so applied for a new one, then travelled on the 'lost' one, so he has form....

MeanWeedratStew · 28/09/2021 09:15

Uh... OP, we need details. ALL of the details. You can't just tell us you've bailed and not give the full story, that's cruel!

GabriellaMontez · 28/09/2021 09:19

Probably saved yourself a massive row.

Tirediam · 28/09/2021 11:02

Oh wow- bet she’s raging. Probably still wants the passport

bagpuss90 · 29/09/2021 10:27

Basically it went from bad to worse then to worse still . She wanted to hold the boarding passes , organise the whole holiday. Tell us what we were doing and when . DP is still going - it’s caused a lot of friction . But I just couldn’t t do it . Apparently a bil is about to bail out to. I’m going to spend a chilled few days with an old friend and raise a glass or two and have a much better time

OP posts:
billy1966 · 29/09/2021 10:28

@bagpuss90

Basically it went from bad to worse then to worse still . She wanted to hold the boarding passes , organise the whole holiday. Tell us what we were doing and when . DP is still going - it’s caused a lot of friction . But I just couldn’t t do it . Apparently a bil is about to bail out to. I’m going to spend a chilled few days with an old friend and raise a glass or two and have a much better time
Wise call OP.
DFOD · 29/09/2021 10:31

Good for you. No need for drama or conflict. Just quietly withdraw with dignity. It’s not your thing. Fine if your DP wants to be with his siblings at this time - but no need for you to endure it. Well done.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/09/2021 10:32

Jeez - control freakery at its peak!
Don't blame you in the slightest for jumping ship - well done! Grin

catfunk · 29/09/2021 10:41

If just go and keep hold of my own/ families paperwork. What's she going to do- wrestle them off of you at the airport ?

Brollywasntneededafterall · 29/09/2021 11:01

Will she though carry a microphone and be a proper tour guide?

diddl · 29/09/2021 11:02

Perhaps just the siblings would work better anyway?