Am I over reacting - controlling SIL

[bagpuss90]

We have a family holiday booked -eight of us going . I’d rather be going away with just DP but his mum died last year ,and he wants a holiday with his family which I’ve reluctantly agreed to. My sister in law - who has rubbed me up the wrong way several times over the years has surpassed herself. She’s announced that she “wants to be organised “ and has asked that we all hand our passports over to her for safe keeping and she will hold onto them for the duration of the holiday. I’ve point blank refused-I’m old enough and ugly enough to look after my own passport thank you. It’s the principle -plus can you imagine if she lost the lot of then. It’s made me dread the holiday- I think she’ll want to run the show - DP thinks I’m over reacting . She’s said I’m a control freak-wtf ?? Having serious thoughts about not going, but under the circumstances it’s not that easy to bail out now

I did say early doors that she who wishes to hold onto passports will have an action packed non optional itinerary for you all.

I LOVE that you are not going. Great to see a woman with rock solid boundaries.

@bagpuss90

Basically it went from bad to worse then to worse still . She wanted to hold the boarding passes , organise the whole holiday. Tell us what we were doing and when . DP is still going - it’s caused a lot of friction . But I just couldn’t t do it . Apparently a bil is about to bail out to. I’m going to spend a chilled few days with an old friend and raise a glass or two and have a much better time

sounds like a plan... good on you 🌸

Thanks everyone xxx

I'd spend some time with the other BiL that is bailing out too and have a great old time!

There are issues there and perhaps you could have a word with your DH before he leaves to maybe have a chat with his sister about how she is behaving and how not normal it is to be going on the way she is.

Well done.

Have been away with in-laws in a big group a few times and no-one has ever demanded to hold anyone else's passports. Just passport numbers when required by email!

You've done the right thing OP, it was only going to get worse again. I hate to say it, but I hope your DH has a miserable time!

@Brollywasntneededafterall

Will she though carry a microphone and be a proper tour guide?

yes and one of those bright umbrellas so you can find her in crowds

PS good for you OP

Well done OP!

I am a bit surprised that you are allowed to be on MN

You know that the correct response would be to just submit to all the batshittery just in case the SIL was upset (and have an utterly miserable time in the process).

Will she though carry a microphone and be a proper tour guide?

And wave a large closed umbrella in the air so that noone gets "lost" from her tour guiding!

Thanks for the update, OP! Well done. :-)

One of the BIL has type one Diabetes which he manages well - he just gets on with it - never complains .He obviously needs to eat regular meals tho. The tipping point for me was her telling my DP that she wasn’t going to spend her holiday “pandering “to BILs diabetes 😳. Incidentally this is the BIL who is also about to bail out too .

She sounds like a NIGHTMARE! You are so much better off not going.

If I was you I'd struggle to be sympathetic if your DP moans about her when he gets back.

Let the blood siblings pander to her if they choose to, but don't countenance any grumbles about it when they get back!

Does she know why you have dropped out?

"One of the BIL has type one Diabetes which he manages well - he just gets on with it - never complains .He obviously needs to eat regular meals tho. The tipping point for me was her telling my DP that she wasn’t going to spend her holiday “pandering “to BILs diabetes"

Wow, she's a peach isn't she?

So pleased you and BIL are both refusing to go, that holiday is going to be miserable from start to finish.

Wow how self absorbed of her ! But she's hot what she wanted- her siblings at her beck and call and no nasty dissenting in laws

@Carriemac

Wow how self absorbed of her ! But she's hot what she wanted- her siblings at her beck and call and no nasty dissenting in laws

Hasn't she just.

I'd like to know what your partners reply was to such rudeness?

If he let it go, he sounds pretty wet.

Either way, you are well out of it.

It doesn't sound as if it would be safe for your BIL to go, especially if he's prone to hypos. He could feel quite unwell while she's insisting that nobody can eat until she says so.

Nutcase. Your poor BIL having to deal with that ignorance.

I think you and your BIL should book an alternative break, guaranteed a better time!

I can just see her, furled umbrella aloft, setting off briskly with a "Suivez Moi!"

What does your DH say?
This is control-freakery at its worst!

"Pandering" to Type 1 Diabetes?!
Good God she's also thick as mince.

Yea you’ve done the right thing OP

Someone who wants to control passports in case they get lost but can’t be responsible enough to recognise the needs of a person with diabetes?
So self absorbed

Sounds like you’ve made the right call.

Although, selfishly, I was looking forward to updates from the holiday on SILs batshittery. I’m really intrigued to see just how far she will take her need to control.