Am I going to have SS involved because of this?

[Sillyoldelfbacktoself]

DD is 7, year 3.

She usually has a hot lunch at school but doesn’t like any of the options tomorrow (Pizza, Jacket Potatos and Curry she doesn’t like any of them). She will not eat the cold option of a wrap either – sensory issues around food, she can be very fussy with food - is fine everywhere else, even school have commented on her food.

I went to my dads today on my pedal bike, went shopping for lunchbox stuff (pasta, tomatoes, some fruit and some kitkats) and other stuff then dads dropped me, plus bike home (he has a bike rack on the car) but I’ve left the bags in the boot of the car. I’ve got DD back with me now (she’s been to her dads for the weekend) and dad lives an hour away anyway, there’s no way she could cycle that far. No public transport on a Sunday, no local shops open – nearest shop to me is a Tesco Metro, no corner shops or anything as I’m basically in the town centre.

I don’t own my own car as I can’t afford to (single parent). I walk and cycle everywhere and use public transport if I can’t get there under my own steam.

Dad won’t drive out to me (understandably) and I can’t get to the shop before school starts. I might be able to get there before lunchtime tomorrow but it really depends on my morning meeting and whether I can get back to my town in time.

If I email school whats likely to happen? SS report? It’s the first time it’s ever happened, usually DD will eat at least 1 of the 3 options offered by school or I can get to the shop to get stuff to make it ok.

Lesson learnt, never shop on a Sunday always do it the other days when the Tescos shut at 10pm so I can at least throw something together.

@Nicknacky

But you said it was an hours drive earlier? Big difference to an hours cycle.

And why can’t her dad help?

Because if you read OPs posts, her ex has threatened her with social services.

And you cycle 25 miles in an hour - is it all downhill?

At my DS's school they have a salad bar along with the wrap (if she'll eat any) and it usually has pasta salad. There'll also be a pudding she might like, and always a choice of fruit and yogurt. They're also usually OK with mixing up components of the different options, so if there's anything she'll eat with any of the options they can put something together, it might be weird, but she'll be fed.

I'm unclear how it can be an hour cycling and an hour driving. It takes me 30 minutes to drive to work but would take me approximately 2.5 hours to cycle. How fast do you pedal!?

And, op, try not to pay too much attention to the unhelpful posts.
You're flustered and if you sit and take some deep breaths you will come up with something

The cycling this is odd. It has to be said.

If you have flour and a little margarine, a baked bean pasty, chicken pie or similar. Honestly, I wouldnt worry though even a quick phone call to the school in the morning would sort this out-morning I am X's mum, she normally has a school lunch but I dont think she will eat x y and z. Is there any chance she could have beans on toast (or other combination that daughter will eat) please? (I am sure you said beans were an option?)

I think OP meant it’s an hours drive so 25-30 minute cycle, not a 25-30 mile cycle. I make typing errors like that all the time where I’ll replace one relevant word with another beginning with the same letter and then not notice until I’ve already posted.

@Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin I did read that. However as ss wouldn’t be the slightest bit interested then if there were no other options she would need to ask for his help.

Aw don't worry at all about this, just call the school office in the morning and let them know. They will try and make her something she likes, and just so you feel better I once completely forgot to send my daughter in with her packed lunch and school didn't mind. I've also forgot to send in book bags, forgotten the odd dressing up and non uniform days and I've turned up at school on inset days a few times too things like this happen, we are only human xxx

I’m sure if she has option between no lunch at all or something she’s not keen she’ll just grit her teeth and eat what’s on offer for hot dinners? And if she doesn’t then it’s her own fault and she’ll soon learn.

I'm a school cook in a middle school.

I will do my best to feed any fussy kids, I have one child who has asd, won't eat veg and will melt down if put on their plate, so we don't.

Another child just had a roll with butter and veg and pudding.

Another who doesn't like butter in their sandwiches, so no butter for them.

My team do their best to feed all the children something.
As long as we are asked we can try.

I would imagine OP does not want to leave 7 year old alone while she nips to metro. I live in a village with one shop shutting at 10pm. I also sometimes run out of bread etc If desperate my kid could take in a jam or choc spread sarnie. If out of bread, I would be held ransom to whatever shop had (recently food shortages and delivery problems have meant bugger all). Not everyone has food stocks and a fussy eater is a nightmare to cater for. Mine does not do ham, cheese, butter, crisps or apples. I know. So the OP does have my sympathies.
Worst case scenario OP, email the school saying you are stuck in work and lunch has been left behind. Child then has to suck up an option they do not like or just eat the pudding. Alternatively a member of staff they know might be able to sort something for them or directly with canteen.

I’d speak to the school in the morning to put your mind at read and explain her issues with food and that you are worried. Tell her to get the jacket with beans and cheese as at least she can just eat the topping and then hopefully there will be a banana or a pudding too that will fill her even more.
As PPs have said give her a slightly bigger breakfast portion, you could wake her up a bit earlier to make sure she’s hungry.

Ignore all the judgey people on here OP, I bet their lives are perfect and they have no worries

@Cherryana

As long as you get lunch to her school by lunch time (probably 12pm) tomorrow it will be alright. Just take her lunchbox to reception.

Maybe your dad would be able to do it?

You don’t have to stress before school and it gives you some extra time to sort it out.

This! Just take the lunch in later on in time for lunch time. Problem solved

@MolkosTeenageAngst
That doesn’t make sense.
I cycle. A 25 min cycle would take 5 min a car, on a clear road.

But that’s by the by.

Op needs to get a therapist ASAP. Because if she’s consistently sending in a spare lunch box for any meal her dd might not like because her ex scared her so much. She needs to work through all that. It’s not healthy.

There is a lot going on here. A 30 minute drive isn't going to take an hour on the bike unless the OP is an elite cyclist. Either her dad lives a lot closer, she actually did a 2-3 hour bike ride earlier or something else? The British record for 25 mile time trial is about 47 minutes or so I think?

Does it matter how long it takes OP to cycle to her dad’s?, or the fact she went shopping left it in his boot and now has no sandwich stuff in?

The fact is OP HAS no sandwich stuff for her DD tomorrow. It sounds like she was in an abusive relationship with her daughters dad and is now scared shitless she’ll be reported to social services as she forgot to meal plan.

Perhaps op lives hand to mouth and doesn’t have the means to store food at home for emergencies. It’s not uncommon! Hence people needing to accessing food banks. Also not all areas do Uber eats etc for supermarket/shops mine doesn’t plus not all people could afford it anyway!

Give OP a break FFS!!

"Dads is an hour away cycling, so about 25-30 miles in the car. So still a good hour or sos driving for him".

Miles are miles, whether you're cycling or driving. How quickly do you cycle, and how slowly does your dad drive if it takes you both the same time on a bike and in a car?
So it turns out there are in fact two supermarkets in the locality that will be open in the morning? How odd that you had never realised this before, living in the town centre.

If you have milk and flour then what about pancakes for lunch?

Oh and food and sensory issues is a thing. Often children on the spectrum have problems with textures, strong flavours or foods being together. Many have very limited food palettes.

Good luck in the morning OP. Take care x

If the shops open at 9am, I would drop her, go to shops, make a lunch up and drop back to school before lunchtime?

How many miles away is your dad from you if it takes an hour to drive? But you cycled there? Must have been one hell of a cycle!