Am I going to have SS involved because of this?

[Sillyoldelfbacktoself]

DD is 7, year 3.

She usually has a hot lunch at school but doesn’t like any of the options tomorrow (Pizza, Jacket Potatos and Curry she doesn’t like any of them). She will not eat the cold option of a wrap either – sensory issues around food, she can be very fussy with food - is fine everywhere else, even school have commented on her food.

I went to my dads today on my pedal bike, went shopping for lunchbox stuff (pasta, tomatoes, some fruit and some kitkats) and other stuff then dads dropped me, plus bike home (he has a bike rack on the car) but I’ve left the bags in the boot of the car. I’ve got DD back with me now (she’s been to her dads for the weekend) and dad lives an hour away anyway, there’s no way she could cycle that far. No public transport on a Sunday, no local shops open – nearest shop to me is a Tesco Metro, no corner shops or anything as I’m basically in the town centre.

I don’t own my own car as I can’t afford to (single parent). I walk and cycle everywhere and use public transport if I can’t get there under my own steam.

Dad won’t drive out to me (understandably) and I can’t get to the shop before school starts. I might be able to get there before lunchtime tomorrow but it really depends on my morning meeting and whether I can get back to my town in time.

If I email school whats likely to happen? SS report? It’s the first time it’s ever happened, usually DD will eat at least 1 of the 3 options offered by school or I can get to the shop to get stuff to make it ok.

Lesson learnt, never shop on a Sunday always do it the other days when the Tescos shut at 10pm so I can at least throw something together.

Have not read TWThread so sorry if my apply is not appropriate!

I think your dad is being a bit of an arse tbh.

Pick up some lunch box supplies on the way to school tomorrow from the tesco metro? They usually open pretty early

Bit mean of your Dad not to drive over a weeks worth of shopping to you.

Anyway, give her a big breakfast and an early dinner, she will be ok I am sure!

Could you not take her to school, go to the shops . Make pack lunch and drop it in to school before lunchtime ?

@CustardySergeant

SaltySeaAir "Honestly, pick the most likely one she will eat - even if it's just rice from the curry!"

The OP has said that her daughter won't eat rice or bread, yet so many people continue to suggest both.

They're still doing it AARRGHHH!!!

Flatbreads, bread, a sandwich, rice.

Stop it!!!!!!!

OP, it appears to me, your ex has threatened you with SS - am I right? this has put the shits up you big time!
You need to speak to someone, a friend, your dad, anyone and get this fear off your chest, it's doing you no good at all.
If you've done nothing wrong, you need to shove the threats up your ex's arse and ignore them.
Your DD can have a school dinner and pick at it like she's been doing all these years past anyway. I wouldn't ring the school at all, you're just highlighting something they already know and adding info. about you not having food in - don't do it.
Maybe your dad is trying to help your DD out by teaching her that the world can't simply revolve around her eating issues.
You're doing your best OP - please start ignoring the ex and put the court stuff behind you.
You can't live like this, looking over your shoulder, feeling like you can't make a single mistake - it's not on.
Take care of yourself OP, so you can take care of your DD.

@crazyguineapiglady

Order her a school lunch.

You've provided the lunch, up to her if she eats it or not. Social services don't get involved for fussy eating.

This You'll have provided her with lunch, if she won't eat it then that's on her! Dinner was there

@Sillyoldelfbacktoself Oh no, not at all. I have had school call to remind me mire than once that my DD has attended school without either a packed lunch or a school dinner booked and paid for. I have also more than once rushed up with a packed lunch to drop off to the office when i realise ive forgotten. You'll be fine.

OP, it appears to me, your ex has threatened you with SS - am I right? this has put the shits up you big time!

Agh, just seen this, if so seems like bigger trouble than whether a dinner or not!

that’s on her

That’s a great way to treat a 7 year old with sensory difficulties

If every school called SS every time a child came to school without lunch ONCE, SS would have time to do nothing but investigate lunchless kids. They're not going to call. Let her eat whatever of the lunch appeals to her. No one will think much of it one way or the other.

My DD1 (now 12) is an extremely fussy eater. We’ve tried both packed lunches and school dinners in the past, we’ve now stuck with school dinners. There have been plenty of times when she hasn’t eaten anything at lunchtime. The school have never referred us to SS because of it.

We’ve stopped worrying about it. Whether we provide packed lunches or pay for school dinners, the fact is that she has something to eat. If she chooses not to eat it, it really is on her.

You have my sympathy, OP. It really is draining, having a child who is a fussy eater. Unfortunately, I’m not able to reassure you that it will get better.

@LizzieW1969

My DD1 (now 12) is an extremely fussy eater. We’ve tried both packed lunches and school dinners in the past, we’ve now stuck with school dinners. There have been plenty of times when she hasn’t eaten anything at lunchtime. The school have never referred us to SS because of it.

We’ve stopped worrying about it. Whether we provide packed lunches or pay for school dinners, the fact is that she has something to eat. If she chooses not to eat it, it really is on her.

Providing food your child has previously liked and then choosing not to eat it is different to giving a 7 year old a meal knowing they will not eat it and telling them ‘like it or lump it’

Wow what a thread 😅

OP lives in a town then doesn’t live in a town, she cycles god knows how fast god knows how far! She knows the opening times of small far away stores but didn’t think to check the local Tesco. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Oh well, at least it’s all cleared up now.

Will she eat cooked chicken? What about the frozen veg will she eat those cold if you nuke em in the microwave tomorrow, cool and put in a pot?

@ItsNotMeAnymore

Wow what a thread 😅

OP lives in a town then doesn’t live in a town, she cycles god knows how fast god knows how far! She knows the opening times of small far away stores but didn’t think to check the local Tesco. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Oh well, at least it’s all cleared up now.

I think she's terrified of her ex and the court dealings - which is why she's not contacted him for help - maybe he's threatened her with SS - she obviously doesn't want to say anything too outing. That's my take.

Hmm no I’m thinking op has had previous social work involvement and that’s why she’s so worried. Most parents wouldn’t give this a second thought, I turned up to school once without a
Lunch for my son on his school trip as he had been sick the day they handed out the letters so we didn’t know he had one and this was when he just started a new year so the teacher must have forgotten about him, no one called ss because he didn’t have a lunch the school just made one for him. Non issue.

@PoolNooodle,
Yes
I have to agree with you as it sounds very strange to be honest .

Maybe it’s time for her to stop being so fussy and eat what she is offered in school.

@1forAll74

Can you not tell your child to eat things, as that is all there is, whatever you have got. All this faffing about with food would drive me mad.

OP stated in her original post that her DD has sensory issues My DD has Autism and a GENUINE phobia of many, many types of food. It's not 'faffing about'

This thread is horrible. Hope you all feel better for hoiking up your judge pants.

*judgy

I hope your dad can at least store your big shop properly instead of leaving it to languish in the back of his car. I must say my dad wouldn’t see his granddaughter go hungry for the sake of an hour drive like.