Partner constantly breaks things I've bought

[SpotlessMind88]

My partner constantly breaks things that i've bought. He breaks a lot of things including his own, but i buy quality and look after my things. I still have my first car, the laptop i bought when i was in uni. I've always worked and saved up for quality things and then look after them so they last and are in great condition. With him its easy come easy go. His broken my ottoman storage by standing on it. Broken my wine glasses, damaged my car, broke a glass tea pot. Today he broke a knife by cracking ice with it and broke a stoneware dish by 'barely touching it'. Its like I'm constantly throwing money away. I feel like I'm not allowed to have anything nice. I've vowed not to buy anything anymore, I'm so sick of buying things and then having to replace them.
The worst part is getting a "sorry" out of him, it's like getting blood out of a stone. Today he said "i've broke one of your dishes, i don't need you beating me up about it, i've already beat myself up about it". I had to tell him, i haven't had a sorry yet. He finally apologised 20 mins later.
I feel like i should have a cupboard that i put all my things in and lock them away from him (like Monica from friends). I can't do this with my car or ottoman, but I might be able to save some of my belongings lol

His breaking things possibly can't be helped, but not apologising and replacing them? Pure arsehole.

Cut your losses.

My DH has a lot of previous for ruining household items - not so much breaking them as spoiling them in some way. In fact, any fabric/textile whether it be bed linen, a towel or the sofa is at risk when he's around. Drives me mad.

OP, I don't think this will get better for you!

Buy him a birthday/christmas present. Wrap it. Then drop it or run it over with the car. Then give it to him. Only do this if it is something you know he would like and it is breakable. Then shrug. Then throw him the fuck out.

Have you posted about this before?

Nope. What are you going to do, hide all your stuff forever, wait for him to die and then get it out of storage so you can enjoy it in your old age? Just ditch him.

Why doesn't he buy anything for the home he lives in? Why don't you demand he replaces everything he breaks? And most importantly, why do you think an adult constantly breaking his partners things is normal? You do realise he is doing this on purpose right? That's why he doesn't bother to say sorry

He’s jealous of you.

You earn more than him and are in a better position career-wise, right?

(Just a guess…)

I couldn't live like this. He has absolutely no respect for you or your belongings. I'd be looking at somewhere else to live.

@SpotlessMind88 Do you think he is doing this all on purpose?

Why do you buy most things? Do you earn a lot more than him?

When you live with someone there normally needs to be some compromises to be made. If he wants to spend less but not need to be so careful with things, that’s as normal an approach to life as buying quality things and being more careful. You might both need to compromise a bit to make things work. But it sounds like he’s not more careful and doesn’t even pay for cheap stuff. At best that’s free loading.

Have you seen how he breaks things? The knife to break up ice doesn’t sound like he’s clumsy and can’t help it. It sounds like he’s lazy/impatient and doesn’t really give a damn so long as his current need is instantly met.

The bright side is that you aren't married and live in a rental.
He really doesn't give a fuck - your money grows on trees. Run now, while you still can!

Tell him to pay up or fuck off out the house. Forever.

He breaks it, he pays for new ones at price you bought
Every time
They remain yours
He'll soon learn to be careful

[quote SpotlessMind88]@BritWifeInUSA no they are my things. I bought the wine glasses, he doesn't even drink. I bought expensive chef knives which cost a fortune. He has never bought anything for the kitchen or house. So no, they are not also his things. I saved up and bought them[/quote]
Unless it's something you already had, or a family heirloom, this "they are mine" about household objects and talk of hiding them makes you sound like you are a teenager in a house share, rather than grown adults in their first home together. What next, labelling things?

Does he break his own things?

I’d be suspicious that this is a form of control - showing you he disrespects you and doesn’t care about you or your property. A big red flag.

The fact that he doesn’t replace your things or want to say sorry is really off putting.

I think you can get a better partner than him.

I’m sure you have posted about this before?

but i buy the bulk of everything

If you're a partnership why are you paying for almost everything? How long have you been together?

Whilst he might say he's beating himself up for breaking things, what's he doing to try to be more careful?

@Wobblywibblywoo no i haven't

@HestersSamplerofCarrots no i haven't written about this before. Maybe you've read a post by someone else?

@Bluetrews25 HAHAHA i love this comment i could do this with his playstation. I bought it for him ages ago, but accidents happen lol

I feel like i should have a cupboard that i put all my things in and lock them away from him

Wrong way round. Leave your things out and put him in the cupboard.

So - he’s not broken the PlayStation you bought him yet? Interesting…

Maybe it's not deliberate but he didn't care enough about your feelings to be careful. How is he breaking wine glasses if he doesn't drink? Why is he using chef knives to chop ice? He doesn't give a fuck. And why should he? They just arrive, he doesn't have to pay for them, they have no meaning for him, he does not care.
He does not care.

I’m clumsy and can’t help it, when I’m paranoid about it, it makes the clumsiness worse, good job my DH puts up with me 😂 I couldn’t get worked up about glasses or actual things that break easy, after all they are just stuff and easy to replace.

I’d say that if it annoys you that much that you should split up because it will continue to annoy you to the point you resent him, obviously you aren’t best matched.

[quote SpotlessMind88]@Bluetrews25 HAHAHA i love this comment i could do this with his playstation. I bought it for him ages ago, but accidents happen lol[/quote]
It would be so unfortunate if his beloved PS got broken wouldn't it...ooops! 😉😈 Seriously though, I'd be very tempted to "accidentally" break it but, saying that, if I felt like doing that the relationship is in a very bad place and better to end it.

My ex broke a lot of my things. It always seemed 'accidental' but it was all stuff that meant a lot to me. I eventually realised it was a form of abuse. Some guys do this in a passive-aggressive way due to their resentment. I earned more, was far better educated, and came from a higher socio-economic class. I eventually discovered it was more and more deliberate, starting out as being careless with my things but then, I found stuff broken that could not have happened accidentally. Your partner may not be in the extreme category but I would not rule out some form passive-agressive destruction. I would get rid of him unless he improves and replaces stuff like for like or better.