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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Made an awful mistake due to tiredness

111 replies

Anonymous3kids · 19/09/2021 10:29

Aibu
My kids are ill atm, one has croup and the other a nasty cold (have a grown up daughter who's fine ) both kids haven't been sleeping due to illness, I only slept an hour in 2 days. I administered calpol to both of the kids b4 bed last night but forgotten I had done and told my partner to give the oldest some b4 brushing his teeth.
So my older son ended up having two doses, I rang 111 for advice and told them it was my fault, I also by mistake said that we'd miscommunicated to each other whilst on the phone, my parnter is now saying that I am trying to blame share, even though I told them it was my fault and he heard me say it . My son is fine it wasn't 2 full doses and I spoke to 3 different health care professionals they each said he was ok. Fast forward to this morning where my parnter looked upset I asked him what was wrong and he told me what i'd said was trying to blame him. I already feel like a complete failure for making such a stupid mistake without him saying that as well. Am I wrong in being angry with him for trying to make me feel worse? I've apologised to him a few times as it was a genuine mistake I wasn't trying to blame share

OP posts:

MsChatterbox · 19/09/2021 10:32

Mistakes happen. My son once got hold of the calpol where I left it from giving it to baby. Don't even know how much he drank!! Luckily it wasn't a full bottle. You are so tired. I wouldn't even bring it up with your husband again.. I.e. Apologising again. Let him sulk and move on with your life! Hope you get some more sleep soon.

EllieLondon5 · 19/09/2021 10:36

I once left an open bottle of neurofen beside my daughters cot. Same story - just so tired because she’d been ill for days and not sleeping.

Came into the room and it was everywhere. Carpet. Walls. Cot. None on her though so it seemed she didn’t drink it.

Forgive yourself and move on. He is fine and you won’t do it again.

Fetchthevet · 19/09/2021 10:37

You're both upset about what happened. Your DC is fine so I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Hope you are all feeling better soon.

ThinWomansBrain · 19/09/2021 10:37

sounds like you both have more to worry about than who to blame for what happened - it's not going to change things - other than contionuing the stress - and the tension of that is likely to make things worse rather than better.
It was a mistake - child survivied without ill effects - move on.
Hope they're both better soon

SmileyClare · 19/09/2021 10:37

Your husband's being a prat. He's more upset about his feelings than the fact that your children are ill and you're struggling on very little sleep.

He's being very petty. You made a mistake, apportioning blame isn't helping.

I hope he'll enable you to get some rest today.

Bluntness100 · 19/09/2021 10:38

To be fair you were trying to share the blame, there was no miscommunication between you both. You’re likely both tired, let it go

PheasantsNest · 19/09/2021 10:45

You were trying to blame him.

MiddleClassProblem · 19/09/2021 10:47

@Fetchthevet

You're both upset about what happened. Your DC is fine so I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Hope you are all feeling better soon.

This. Just take complete ownership of the situation, including the phone clearly when speaking to him and apologise for both. Then hopefully he can move on. Sometimes people need to hear a clear acknowledgment of what you are apologising for rather than just the word sorry or for it to feel like you are just apologising because you feel you are meant to. He is probably only holding in to it because he still has nicety in him from that night too.

Don’t worry, you made a mistake that I’m sure is very common. Next time maybe keep a record on your phone with the time you give the dose as unfortunately the times we are giving any medication normally go hand in hand with sleepless nights. Hope you get some rest soon x

EarringsandLipstick · 19/09/2021 10:49

I mean, yes, you 'blamed' him, he didn't do anything wrong here.

But you are both shattered, you've had no sleep & you just made a mistake. Your DC is fine. You didn't do anything deliberately mean to your DP.

Could you both step back & see how you can support each other today? And for you in particular to get some sleep? 💐

Original poster

Anonymous3kids · 19/09/2021 10:49

I didn't mean to say that which I have apologised for but he won't let it go, I was tired and said it by mistake i wasn't actively trying to blame him

OP posts:

Brollywasntneededafterall · 19/09/2021 10:52

They use sleep deprivation in current army training op...
You are human.
You made a mistake..
Dh maybe is annoyed with himself for not helping more and ranted at you instead..
Tell dh he is having the dc today and go back to bed...

EarringsandLipstick · 19/09/2021 10:52

Then you've done what you can OP, your DP needs to stop now & support you.

I'd take the emotion out of it & tell him that clearly.

Original poster

Anonymous3kids · 19/09/2021 10:52

Not intentionally I have apologised.

OP posts:

Rosebel · 19/09/2021 10:55

Tell your partner he can deal with the kids for the next 2 days he can only sleep for an hour. Then see how he feels.
It doesn't sound like you did anything terrible. Just ignore him until he stops being an idiot.

LadyLaSnack · 19/09/2021 10:56

A quick way to get the info across to the 111 operator was to blame it on a miscommunication before moving on to the overdose info.

The priority was to get the overdose info across so that they could triage, and the additional info about the miscommunication allowed them to know that nothing deliberate had occurred (and so therefore no further threat to the child). I think what you said was an efficient way of getting the important points to the operator as quickly as possible.

LadyLaSnack · 19/09/2021 10:57

Ps - your husband is being a dick to make you feel worse about this.

pickingdaisies · 19/09/2021 10:58

Time to stop apologising, and go get some sleep while DH looks after the kids.

WoozySnoozy · 19/09/2021 10:59

If you've apologised then that should be the end of it. Is there history here?

pickingdaisies · 19/09/2021 11:00

I'd also be telling him, not asking. How come you've only had an hour's sleep, where was he?

itsgettingwierd · 19/09/2021 11:02

Tell him to grow up.

You said miscommunication problem to explain an overdose in a child. You didn't say it was your DH fault or it wasn't entirely yours.

It was a mistake that happened by accident due to extreme tiredness with no harm done.

Apologise to him stating "I understand your upset as you thought I was blaming you. I wasn't. It was entirely my fault because I'm so sleep deprived. To prevent it happening again I'm going to go and sleep now for a few hours as the children are clearly safer in your care".

He can't be a shitty arse at you and absolve himself of all blame and not help you be in a position not to make that mistake again.

Baconking · 19/09/2021 11:04

So you've apologised.

What more does he want you to do? Ring 111 back and explain you said the wrong thing and DH was in no way to blame? Even though they don't care...
DH needs to move on. Leave the kids in his care for a few hours and get some sleep

dottiedodah · 19/09/2021 11:09

DC is fine! No worries now .Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing .My own DD once decided to eat some soap powder! Now in her 20s and all present and correct .No harm done ,just chalk it up to experience .

Lachimolala · 19/09/2021 11:10

If you’ve apologised and explained it was a mistake and not intentionally done then I don’t see what else there is to talk about? That should be the end of it? Like PP said what is he wanting you to do? Does he do this often? Not accept apologies and prettily carry things on?

Regularsizedrudy · 19/09/2021 11:11

Your husband is being a dick. But also 111 for 2 doses of calpol seems extreme, I used to chug the stuff when I was little. It’s very weak.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 19/09/2021 11:11

I don't think 1 extra dose as a one off is a big deal really.

You're both tired and dealing with sick kids, now is not the time to be arguing. Just try be a team.
It's hard x

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