Made an awful mistake due to tiredness

[Anonymous3kids]

Aibu
My kids are ill atm, one has croup and the other a nasty cold (have a grown up daughter who's fine ) both kids haven't been sleeping due to illness, I only slept an hour in 2 days. I administered calpol to both of the kids b4 bed last night but forgotten I had done and told my partner to give the oldest some b4 brushing his teeth.
So my older son ended up having two doses, I rang 111 for advice and told them it was my fault, I also by mistake said that we'd miscommunicated to each other whilst on the phone, my parnter is now saying that I am trying to blame share, even though I told them it was my fault and he heard me say it . My son is fine it wasn't 2 full doses and I spoke to 3 different health care professionals they each said he was ok. Fast forward to this morning where my parnter looked upset I asked him what was wrong and he told me what i'd said was trying to blame him. I already feel like a complete failure for making such a stupid mistake without him saying that as well. Am I wrong in being angry with him for trying to make me feel worse? I've apologised to him a few times as it was a genuine mistake I wasn't trying to blame share

You sound like you've knowledge of the area so you'll be aware that damage / effects won't be immediately apparent in some situations

I do have knowledge in that area and know that one double dose of calpol has no risk at all and can't cause damage or have any effects. The dose is designed to account for such accidents which are very commonly made.
No idea why anyone would suggest hospital for that, a massive waste of time and resources.

Yes you were trying to share the blame. It’s a really shitty thing to do - DH tries this too when he makes a mistake. You should take ownership of your mistakes not minimise them.

Have you actually read the OP's posts, or the full thread? What am I saying? Of course you haven't otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need for a keyboard warrior pile on.

Yanbu.

How much sleep has he had over the last 2 days?

I think it's just a combo of stress, tiredness and illness. We always check with each other before we administer it.. he could have asked you. You should have told him.

Honestly, I know a very responsible Mum who's kids swigged from a bottle of the stuff. Long story.

You are both human, lesson learnt. Don't do it again. That's our motto

@ManifestDestinee

You sound like you've knowledge of the area so you'll be aware that damage / effects won't be immediately apparent in some situations

I do have knowledge in that area and know that one double dose of calpol has no risk at all and can't cause damage or have any effects. The dose is designed to account for such accidents which are very commonly made.
No idea why anyone would suggest hospital for that, a massive waste of time and resources.

Box ticking exercise on their part? Not sure! But they certainly made us feel like bad parents for making such a mistake and told us how serious it was.

No idea why anyone would suggest hospital for that, a massive waste of time and resources.

I agree that one double dose is not problematic and the advise on this is just to miss the next dose.

However lay off the hyper critical tone, eh? For many services, they are being presented with an already-sick baby / small child, and parents may not have been giving Calpol strictly to a schedule or dosing amount.

Therefore experts assess the situation and give advice, to ensure the safety of the child.

Perfectly reasonable.

But they certainly made us feel like bad parents for making such a mistake and told us how serious it was

They shouldn't have. I mean, you can't tell people its fine as they might just start giving them entire bottles at once, but it really is in actuality fine.

@EarringsandLipstick

No idea why anyone would suggest hospital for that, a massive waste of time and resources.

I agree that one double dose is not problematic and the advise on this is just to miss the next dose.

However lay off the hyper critical tone, eh? For many services, they are being presented with an already-sick baby / small child, and parents may not have been giving Calpol strictly to a schedule or dosing amount.

Therefore experts assess the situation and give advice, to ensure the safety of the child.

Perfectly reasonable.

Lol, you think I'm unreasonable and mean for pointing out that so called experts shouldn't be worrying parents unnecessarily and making them feel bad for no reason? Yeah, ok.

Your husband is more concerned about the fact that a stranger may think he is jointly responsible for a child having a non-harmful amount of calpol than he is about his wife having an hours sleep in two days whilst looking after sick children.

His self-absorption is breathtaking.

Is this a pattern?

He needs to start caring about YOU and let you get some sleep. He can do night duty tonight for a start.

I haven't read anything but your OP. Where in the hell was your partner when you were only getting one hour's sleep in two days?

Oh ffs it WAS a miscommunication. The 111 person doesn't care who's fault it was for Christ sake they just want to give the medical advice they need to and move on. And anyway why have you had so little sleep? Why isn't your DH stepping up and sharing the load with you. If he were perhaps the mistake wouldn't have been made.

It's literally the most trivial inconsequential thing to fall out over. No more apologising and pandering to him. Move on and if he wants to sulk, let him.

It really depends on how many other doses they'd had in 24 hours and how far apart. But that's neither here nor there.

I hope your partner is actually doing his share, with two of you there you should have had more sleep.

I don’t think it’s over the top to call out of hours to ask advice on double dosing. If you are unsure then there is no harm in double checking.

When children are in hospital the dose they age given is dependent on weight - or it certainly was when dd was in hospital a few years ago. She was always given more than the calpol bottle suggested to us based on her she alone. So I suppose if we gave her a double dose in error then it might have an impact because she is bigger than average for her age in terms of height and weight.

However, say my child was 2, and smaller / lighter than average, and we gave a double dose based on the amount for 2-4 year olds, you could potentially be giving quite a bit more than the child needs.

As a parent we really have no way of knowing the impact of that and I wouldn’t ever criticise anyone for calling to check. Better than sitting worrying all night, or worse, the child reacting badly.

• jeez so many typos sorry

you think I'm unreasonable and mean

Did I say that?

so called experts shouldn't be worrying parents unnecessarily and making them feel bad for no reason?

They aren't 'so-called experts'. They are experts. No they shouldn't worry parents unnecessarily & I didn't say they did.

They should - and do - assess the situation & monitor as appropriate. At home or in hospital.

What a strange misreading of my posts.

I told 111 that it was my fault and I told him too, it was unintentional was just trying to get info across quickly my brain was entirely firing on all cylinders atm due to lack of sleep and worrying about my son,I have apologised but that was wrong too so I give up. I am just going to focus on the kids, and getting them better

Has he been sharing the care of your children and lack of sleep? No? Then of course he shares the blame. What a dick.

It's his fault too because if he were helping you wouldn't be so tired.

He needs to step up.

@JustHowILikeIt

I haven't read anything but your OP. Where in the hell was your partner when you were only getting one hour's sleep in two days?

Exactly. Has your partner been getting a full 8 hours sleep every night?

Why have you only had 1 hours sleep in 2 days?!?

The 111 operator has said that the safeguarding team will be giving us a call in the next few days

OP, you poor thing.

It sounds as if he is blaming you for blaming him, as a way for him to feel some control and keep his own terror under control.

You did the right thing in seeking advice.

Don’t worry: I have had a child on paracetamol and ibroprufen doses much bigger than the ‘bottle’ dose and it was fine.

Given your own upset and tiredness it would be nice if your DH could be more reassuring and supportive.

Focus on yourself and the kids for now, but keep an eye on how much he blames you when he is upset or frightened.

OP, why have you had so little sleep? Has your partner been doing his share of night wakings, or leaving it all to you?

@MsChatterbox

Mistakes happen. My son once got hold of the calpol where I left it from giving it to baby. Don't even know how much he drank!! Luckily it wasn't a full bottle. You are so tired. I wouldn't even bring it up with your husband again.. I.e. Apologising again. Let him sulk and move on with your life! Hope you get some more sleep soon.

This happened to us too about 30 years ago. Left it on the side of the bath partially opened and our daughter drank some. We rang the doctor and they were very chilled about it. Can't remember all this time later who was to blame, but I don't remember even arguing about it. These things happen.

Lots of people making all sorts of assumptions about OP's DP here based on next to no info. I really don't think that demonising people helps at all.

Neither does the random posts about what should and shouldn't be reported to 111 and what healthcare professionals should and shouldn't be doing.

OP you were dog tired and made a mistake, as you can see on this thread others have done the same. You did the right thing and sought medical advice and everything is okay.

Have you had a proper chance to talk with your DP or is this the typical conversations in passing that parents have as you get on with other things? Sounds like you could do with that proper discussion if you haven't and find a way to get some rest.

Personally I find that "miscommunication" is what I call a "politicians word" in that it is so vague that you can read almost what you want into it.

@Anonymous3kids

The 111 operator has said that the safeguarding team will be giving us a call in the next few days

Good they have these systems in place.