Made an awful mistake due to tiredness

[Anonymous3kids]

Aibu
My kids are ill atm, one has croup and the other a nasty cold (have a grown up daughter who's fine ) both kids haven't been sleeping due to illness, I only slept an hour in 2 days. I administered calpol to both of the kids b4 bed last night but forgotten I had done and told my partner to give the oldest some b4 brushing his teeth.
So my older son ended up having two doses, I rang 111 for advice and told them it was my fault, I also by mistake said that we'd miscommunicated to each other whilst on the phone, my parnter is now saying that I am trying to blame share, even though I told them it was my fault and he heard me say it . My son is fine it wasn't 2 full doses and I spoke to 3 different health care professionals they each said he was ok. Fast forward to this morning where my parnter looked upset I asked him what was wrong and he told me what i'd said was trying to blame him. I already feel like a complete failure for making such a stupid mistake without him saying that as well. Am I wrong in being angry with him for trying to make me feel worse? I've apologised to him a few times as it was a genuine mistake I wasn't trying to blame share

You can explain to the safeguarding team that you gave the wrong instructions- because you were fucking exhausted
He can explain how he’s going to help more in future

@Faevern

We all make mistakes. One hour sleep in two days though when there’s two of you?

Yes: this. Your child is fine. You acted correctly to sort out your error. Perhaps you could both sit down and make sure that when you are next in this position of illness you share the parenting responsibilities equally, so one parent never becomes so tired they make a careless mistake (not blaming you btw, there but for the grace of god goes any of us). I hope your partner can see that this is what matters now.

It’s an extra dose of calpol. Your kid didn’t take some heroin lying around. There seems to be a lot of drama for such a minor incident l.

I told 111 it was my fault 3 times

You must be exhausted - that’s a recognised risk
Don’t feel guilty, but do get some rest.

"Your husband is more concerned about the fact that a stranger may think he is jointly responsible for a child having a non-harmful amount of calpol than he is about his wife having an hours sleep in two days whilst looking after sick children.

His self-absorption is breathtaking.

Is this a pattern?"

This

How do the words 'it was my fault and we mis communicated' mean you are trying to blame share?

Why is that his first thought rather than being worried about you or your child? And if being pedantic, if he was in a position to help you in the night and didn't, then he is partially to blame wasn't he? Because if he hadn't been so lazy / selfish, then you wouldn't have been so tired and wouldnt have made a mistake.

Most people at some point do something that accidentally hurts their child. If it was an accident the other parent if they are (both) decent, usually tries to play it down as they know it was an accident rather than negligent and they know the parent that caused it will be feeling really fucking awful already. Only exceptions in my opinion are when one parent has repeatedly asked the other parent to do something that keeps their child safe and it's been ignored. For instance if your husband had asked you a few times already to make a note on a kithcen whiteboard of times of calpol and you hadn't.

Instead your husband is effectively more worried about hammering home 'it's your fault OP, not mine at all!' Rather than trying to check you're actually all right. And unless its completely out of character that makes him a knob.

My husband has a slight tendency to do this eg he will tread on my foot and instead of saying sorry are you ok he will say sorry but you were standing in a stupid place. I tell him it's not on every time, the first thing is to check everyone is ok then apologise if you've hurt someone even if unintentionally and then if I was standing in a stupid place ask me to stand somewhere else next time. Dont apportion blame as an initial reaction.

After a close shave with calpol me and my husband now whatsapp each other with when we gave a dose especially if in the night and the other hasnt woken, just incase, might be something you can tell the safeguarding team you will look to do in he future

@Anonymous3kids

I told 111 it was my fault 3 times

You called them back to tell them this? What did they say? What an utter waste of time! Your husband should apologise for letting you get so exhausted not making you feel worse

clearly it was accidental due to tiredness and it doesnt even matter whos "fault" it was. Its an extra dose of calpol, its not stomach pumping worthy. I would more likely have just made sure to not give another dose until more than 8 hours later

Why won't you answer the question about him sharing the night wakings and if he's managed to sleep?

I think this is just a small part of a bigger picture tbh.

Oh dear, when we were children me and my brother and sister used to climb up and sneak the calpol. Just drink it straight. We were fine, and that was quite a bit more than 2 doses, quite a bit more than one time aswell 😳
Just keep apologising to your husband and reiterating that you weren't trying to blame him and nobody is blaming anybody. He will get over it I am sure.

@Moneysavvymam

Oh dear, when we were children me and my brother and sister used to climb up and sneak the calpol. Just drink it straight. We were fine, and that was quite a bit more than 2 doses, quite a bit more than one time aswell 😳 Just keep apologising to your husband and reiterating that you weren't trying to blame him and nobody is blaming anybody. He will get over it I am sure.

Why should she keep apologising when he is being a twat? Why isn't he apologising for being a lazy fucker and letting her go for 2 days on 1 hour of sleep?