To think 36 isn’t that old for a first baby

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Old school friend has told me that people are saying she’s too old to be pregnant.

With a specifically useless teenage mum I suppose it's no wonder I went for being an older mother. But then my kids don't seem to enjoy having a parent interested in my old person habits of cycling, camping, crafting and listening to live music. I don't connect very well with my teens.

I don’t know anyone or of anyone who had a baby past 37

@Glssr195726113493

Also what is happening in people’s lives that make them that much more “knackered” at 36 than 30?! Ill-health aside.

Yeah, I'm quite worried about what's going to happen to me now within 5 years! 😆 I have a lot of energy at nearly 31. Is that all going to just disappear so quickly! 🤨 makes me wonder how healthy and active some posters here are if they are that knackered.

I'm 36 soon and definitely not knackered! I was 33 when I had DD and I still felt like I was too young I would have been an awful parent in my 20s. Wrong man, tiny house, no money so I would have had to go back to work super early, and I would have missed out on a lot of stuff I wanted to do. But now I have a supportive husband, we have a big home, finances are settled, I did the stuff I wanted to do in my 20s, I have a career that I can now fit around DD, etc. And I'm probably less tired than I was in my 20s as I'm not working the long hours I was then!

I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. I had a lot more patience than when I was younger and I've never struggled to cope (other than because of my disabilities).

No one ever said anything about my age, and even if they had done I wouldn't have taken any notice as it would have been none of their business.

@drpet49

I don’t know anyone or of anyone who had a baby past 37

My cousin did after struggling to concieve. She did great bringing up 2 under 3s (struggled to concieve the first then another quickly happened!) She always looks so youthful and spritely aswell.

Most people I know have had their first between ages 28-40. It's not too old at all.

It’s fine. I am 49 and had both of mine in my late 30s. In my social group not a single woman had a child before 30 and most were over 35.

Some women can’t imagine being a first time mum over 30, some can’t believe girls get pregnant under 20 or even early 20s. I think people should keep their judgements to themselves.

Not too old. Improved maternal healthcare is a game-changer, compared to older generations who had their first babies in their 20s. Everything from IVF to pre-natal vitamins, scans, NIPT, better-managed c-sections and inductions. Massively improved maternity leave policies and pay. And then there are the labour-saving household devices to make parenthood easier - video monitors, pumping machines, washing machines and driers, plastic baby bottles instead of glass ones, good quality weaning foods.

I personally think this makes it much easier to contemplate motherhood at a later age.

I had my first at 32. I will be having another before in 38, whether that's alone or with someone.

Of course it’s not ‘too old’ but it’s probably later than average for a first, but it doesn’t matter at all! I am expecting my first, at 33. None of my friends (same age) have kids or are really on the verge of having them! I think ‘the norm’ depends on the demographic of your friendship group. My girlfriends & I definitely don’t see it as too late; but I’ve moved away from where we grew up and almost all of my younger female colleagues have had multiple kids! One of them even said to me ‘aw I’m so happy for you at last!’ when I announced my pregnancy, when I queried what she meant by the ‘at last’, she replied ‘oh because of your age!’.. i left the convo there but it’s a personal choice isn’t it. She had her son early twenties and is a single mum. I’ve been married over 5 years & waited deliberately so I could take a decent chunk of time off & be more settled. Tbh people find it really wierd if you get married then don’t immediately pop one out 🤣 Tell your friend not to listen!! Xo

It's really not abnormal these days. Women are increasingly having babies later on in life.

Not too old at all. What an odd thing to say. Also can't believe people are actually agreeing it is old 'biologically'. Didn't they used to use the term 'Geriatric Mum's' too? How awful.
I gave birth at 37 and 39. I am now 41. Did I feel old then? No. Do I feel old now? Definitely! .

I had DD at 36 (just turned 36) and it’s not unusual among my (middle class, educated) friendship group.

I now live in a very middle class town and come across plenty of mums older than me.
I feel positively young compared to some of them. (Think the fact I keep myself in good shape and am very fit helps)

@Singleparentstruggles

I had my first at 32. I will be having another before in 38, whether that's alone or with someone.

Interesting, for me the personal cut off is also at 38, and also need to decide asap whether to have one more baby on my own or not.

The younger you are the less likely there are to be fertility or health issues but having had 2 healthy children at 35 and 38 I don’t regret spending my 20s and early 30s living a fun carefree life with lots of travelling one little bit! Although I was ready to give that up and my life with my children is amazing in a whole different way but I will never ever stop putting them first and go back to that carefree way of thinking.

I had my first at 36 and second at 39, each to their own

I hope not! I’m 31 and with my own fertility issues, plus my husbands, we’ve got a long road ahead of us in trying for a baby. 36 would feel like a miracle!

@cruiser123 if you felt a lot of pressure to have kids and don't want her to have that, why would you give her advice about when to have kids? Why not just let her get on with it? I didn't find the right person til I was in my early 30s deapite really wanting to settle down and have kids earlier, it wouldn't have helped matters if my mum had been saying I should have kids in my 20s!

It makes me laugh that people think mid thirties is old! Is this the 'smug marrieds' thing of today? They can't genuinely believe 35 is old! Just look at how younger in outlook and healthier people are in their 70s, the, fact that the retirement age is creeping closer to 70. Ridiculous!

What is normal? I am 39 and I am trying for my 1st. It's all about personal life decisions.

[quote Noodella18]@cruiser123 if you felt a lot of pressure to have kids and don't want her to have that, why would you give her advice about when to have kids? Why not just let her get on with it? I didn't find the right person til I was in my early 30s deapite really wanting to settle down and have kids earlier, it wouldn't have helped matters if my mum had been saying I should have kids in my 20s![/quote]
It was more biological pressure than societal pressure. I was lucky to conceive my children fairly quickly (with one early miscarriage in between). I know not everyone is that lucky and I'm not a stranger to science so I'm going to advise my daughter based on my life experiences and knowledge. What she does in the end is up to her.

Not too old at all, and very normal in London, at least.

I wouldn't I stopped at 29 when i had DS3 but had my dc younger. My dm had me at 35 and was dad was 40 and they weren't ask active. It's down to personal preference.

Of course it’s not old but depends where you live. I am in London and that’s nothing unusual. I had mine at 33, 35 & 38 and hoping for another one by 40.