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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make them pay for damaged ballpit

217 replies

mummaelle · 18/09/2021 20:45

I bought my 10 month old a fairly expensive fabric ballpit and balls.
The day after we had family round for drinks, after my dd went to bed my stepfather and older brother had a few too many to drink and were running and jumping in the ballpit and laying across it causing it to misshape.
I was annoyed and shouted at them and moved the ballpit to another room, they could tell I wasn't happy and offered me half the money each to get her a new one.
The next morning, my mum found out what happened and was angry I accepted the money off them and said I shouldn't have taken it and that there was nothing wrong with the ballpit.
She asked me to return the money to them but I refused, after all the damaged my dd brand new ballpit a day after she got it. My mum has fallen out with me over it and told me not to come round until I returned the money.
What do you think, aibu to not return the money and should just get over it??

OP posts:
Bertiebiscuit · 19/09/2021 23:27

I would tell my mother this is none of her business and can she keep her opinions to herself - is she always so horrible???

Carriecakes80 · 20/09/2021 00:01

Some Mums on here might not be as well off as others. When I bought my children something, it was after hours of working, no help from anyone else, and what I bought for my kids was precious. It wouldn't matter to me if I bought something for a fiver or for fifty quid, if it gets damaged by an adult who knows better, you accept their apology, and the money if they off it, and thats the end of the matter.

If you are lucky enough to be able to buy things that, if they get broken, you can buy for another easily and are 'shocked' that someone would have taken the money for a replacement, you are very lucky not to have to count the damned pennies....its horrible, and much harder these days too. Silly comments on here...not everyone is so bloody flush....

Plumtree391 · 20/09/2021 03:08

I agree. Also paying up (which in fairness they did without complaint), means they are less likely to behave like silly hooligans with other people's property in future. The op's mother is ridiculous to moan about her taking the money but they were more ridiculous telling her about the incident.

Petlover9 · 20/09/2021 06:02

@Carriecakes80

Some Mums on here might not be as well off as others. When I bought my children something, it was after hours of working, no help from anyone else, and what I bought for my kids was precious. It wouldn't matter to me if I bought something for a fiver or for fifty quid, if it gets damaged by an adult who knows better, you accept their apology, and the money if they off it, and thats the end of the matter.

If you are lucky enough to be able to buy things that, if they get broken, you can buy for another easily and are 'shocked' that someone would have taken the money for a replacement, you are very lucky not to have to count the damned pennies....its horrible, and much harder these days too. Silly comments on here...not everyone is so bloody flush....

Quite agree, some people have very little and have to scrimp and save, I don't think people with a high income realise others may not have that. I was "told off" on here for buying cheap vegetables. Told that the price did not cover the cost of producing. They were in Asda as a special offer and I bought some: many of us have to budget
DeepaBeesKit · 20/09/2021 06:22

They damage to the ballpit was it misshapen, not it isn't unusable and my dd won't know any different but that isn't the point...

In which case yabu,its just a ball pit, what an utter waste of money and resources replace it. Think of the environment? Its just a ballpit for a 10m old who won't give two shits.

DeepaBeesKit · 20/09/2021 06:22

Post a pic of it? I bet it's barely even noticeable.

DeepaBeesKit · 20/09/2021 06:25

Carriecakes op isn't hard up if she's bought one of those grey ball pits, they are extortionate - about £70.

timeisnotaline · 20/09/2021 06:29

Good they offered, take the money. Ignore your mums/ reply I’m sorry you feel that way, let me know when you change your mind.

Finknottlesnewt · 20/09/2021 07:34

I'm not sure about this. If you had actually bought a new ball pit for your daughter with the money then YANBU
however if you still use the old one and put the money in your pocket - the yes YABVU .

Plumtree391 · 20/09/2021 08:09

@DeepaBeesKit

Carriecakes op isn't hard up if she's bought one of those grey ball pits, they are extortionate - about £70.
Irrelevant if she is hard up or well off. If you damage something, you pay for it. They offered, she didn't ask. The ball pit was new, the child had only had it five minutes.

What the two grown men did was unbelievably stupid and childish! If they were related to me, I'd be so cross with them and embarrassed. At least they might think twice about acting like that in future.

Chris08 · 20/09/2021 08:13

They did the right thing & you’ve done nothing wrong.

LookItsMeAgain · 20/09/2021 08:41

I've read the first 100 posts and my advice is to basically give them the broken/damaged ball pit (not the money) as they have essentially paid for that by giving you the money to replace it.

I'd also tell my mother to mind her business and to not get involved in matters that don't concern her. This being one of them.

(Now, I'll go back and read the rest of the posts)

LookItsMeAgain · 20/09/2021 08:45

Yep - I've read the rest of the thread and I think that your mother needs to not get involved in matters that don't concern her and that your brother and stepfather have just bought themselves a damaged ball pit!

BrendaBubbles · 20/09/2021 09:15

I’m less worried about the ball pool and more about your DMs reaction to cut you out of her life over a simple matter like this where there was no actual dispute (they offered the money!) .. she is trying to control you and it’s abusive. I would strongly reconsider how much of a relationship you want to have with someone like that.

Michellelovesizzy · 20/09/2021 14:14

Why is ur mum getting involved.... they offered to get a new 1 don't really c the problem.

Madamum18 · 20/09/2021 15:49

They offered , you accepted. Your mum needs to keep her nose out! And as for banning you going round until you give the money back - ridicu;lus!

Cuddlyrottweiler · 20/09/2021 16:13

If you've got the full sum of the cost of the ball pit back then you need to buy a new ball pit. Give your mum the misshapen one and buy a new undamaged one with the money they gave you.

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