To make them pay for damaged ballpit

[mummaelle]

I bought my 10 month old a fairly expensive fabric ballpit and balls.
The day after we had family round for drinks, after my dd went to bed my stepfather and older brother had a few too many to drink and were running and jumping in the ballpit and laying across it causing it to misshape.
I was annoyed and shouted at them and moved the ballpit to another room, they could tell I wasn't happy and offered me half the money each to get her a new one.
The next morning, my mum found out what happened and was angry I accepted the money off them and said I shouldn't have taken it and that there was nothing wrong with the ballpit.
She asked me to return the money to them but I refused, after all the damaged my dd brand new ballpit a day after she got it. My mum has fallen out with me over it and told me not to come round until I returned the money.
What do you think, aibu to not return the money and should just get over it??

What

It’s not complicated.

Your DMs def being unreasonable. Gosh it's her grand child's ball pit. Take the damaged one to her house and buy a new one. Tell her and your SD that it's for when you visit. Hopefully they have room and it'll be a good compromise.

Tell your mother to keep her nose out.

@CurlyWurly321

Sound like a pair of school girls sniggering at the OP because she’s bought something you clearly think is snobby or whatever.

Something that common cannot be snobby.

I googled it. I think it's a new trend of decor-matching children's items because they're selling around £40-£70 and despite my hatred of all things grey, they do look quite nice and not brightly coloured plasticky blues, pinks and yellows etc.

But the ballpits aren't for the parents. They are for the kids. Who, at that age and above LOVE bright, various colours.

I feel sorry for the kids of grey

I always saw a wooden play gym recently as wel. A wooden play gym with plain wooden dangly bits.
Poor kids who get those for Christmas.

I thought exactly the same - the whole point of kids toys is that they are in appallingly bad taste and children love them!

If I was rich I'd buy the grey one - it looks very sturdy, but I'd fill it with multicoloured balls - the brighter, the better.

@DifficultBloodyWoman

P. S. You don't usually put a comma before the word 'and'. @UpCloseAndPersonalWithGlenda**

Yes, you do.

Google Oxford comma.

Teaching the Oxford comma seems subject to the whims of the fashionable pedagogy and changes every ten years or so. However, it has been around for a very long time.

I love the Oxford comma.

LOVE it!

If you need to buy a new one then they should pay. If not then YABU

If it's just misshapen I would give the money back. It's a material structure and the same could have happened with your child jumping in it

Your Mother sounds rather interfering and should of kept out of this, if the ball pit was damaged by pissed up family members then yes taking the money off them was right.

Does Mother know they were pissed?

If you are planning on buying a new one with their money, fair enough.

If you just plan to keep the money as punishment, not on.

@mummaelle Im sort of with you except I’d never have a bollox to take money off someone I'm more of a “oh don’t apologise it’s fine it’s only a toy, accidents happen” while my subconscious is saying “you absolute wanker”

We have the white and grey step and slide.. and the matching castle blocks for my DD.. I almost got the grey ball pit but it turns out DD is terrified of being in a ball pit so holding off 😂 DD got crayon on her step and slide, I’ve bleached it vigorously but I can still slightly see a pale red and green patch, I’m devastated that there’s a pop of colour in my front room now 😭💀

Well, they shouldn’t have but if you don’t need to replace it, you don’t need to take their ££.

They should have just got you some flowers or something to apologise.

@mummaelle

I bought my 10 month old a fairly expensive fabric ballpit and balls. The day after we had family round for drinks, after my dd went to bed my stepfather and older brother had a few too many to drink and were running and jumping in the ballpit and laying across it causing it to misshape. I was annoyed and shouted at them and moved the ballpit to another room, they could tell I wasn't happy and offered me half the money each to get her a new one. The next morning, my mum found out what happened and was angry I accepted the money off them and said I shouldn't have taken it and that there was nothing wrong with the ballpit. She asked me to return the money to them but I refused, after all the damaged my dd brand new ballpit a day after she got it. My mum has fallen out with me over it and told me not to come round until I returned the money. What do you think, aibu to not return the money and should just get over it??

They were running around drink in your home, caused damage and paid for said damage. They are being responsible. Your mother is an enabler. My child accidentally broke something in my mother's house and she demanded I pay for it without giving me chance to offer.

Yanbu. They were damaging your baby’s new stuff, that’s really horrible behaviour and I’m glad you called them on it. Sorry your mum isn’t supportive. I’m guessing she usually puts them first over you and is annoyed to see you stand up for yourself.

Grown adults should know better. YANBU. I’d be very annoyed too. Just because it’s still useable, doesn’t make it right. Not fair that your daughter should have a damaged pool. Accept the money, replace the pool. None of your mums business xx

You haven’t actually said if you intend to use the money to replace it. That makes all the difference IMO.

Why the hell were two, adult men in a ball pit but anyway YANBU
Especially if it was the £190 version.

YABVU
If it isn’t broken and you don’t need to replace it, what on earth was the point of taking their money?
Very strange and rather precious IMO.

OP.... I get it. If I'd have spent a decent amount of money on a nice play thing for my baby which sat and looked nice in my living room, I'd be fuming if I was expected to live with it being all misshapen and crap because 2 drunken idiots didn't have respect for my home or belongings.
You did nothing wrong in accepting their money for a replacement and your mother should keep her nose out and keep a leash on her childish boyfriend and son!

@Braveheart35

You haven’t actually said if you intend to use the money to replace it. That makes all the difference IMO.

I don't think it matters here because their behaviour was terrible - getting so drunk they got into a child's toy. They ruined something, they pay. Whether OP decides to replace ruined thing is irrelevant.

As a pp mentioned if they'd chipped an ornament- it'd still be useable but would look crap. And OP didn't pay for a crap looking thing.

Having said that if they'd accidentally broken it I'd be inclined to be more forgiving....

*accidentally meaning they tripped and fell into it for example, not gotten drunk

They did the right thing by your DD by offering you the money to replace it and you did the right thing by your DD by taking it.

Your ‘D’M otoh has acted like an idiot. Does she generally infantilise your stepdad and brother?

First rule of getting pissed and playing silly buggers: pay for damages.

First rule of having a party where people are playing silly buggers: gently mention what the cost of X was.

Everyone just needs to be reasonable and no one needs to fall out. Your mum is an idiot.

@DeadGood I know it’s horrible it’s opened my eyes to a few things still very close with the friends carpet that got damaged she seems better off with out there friendship , my point in telling the story was I was happy to pay because it made ME fell better and it wasn’t really anyone else’s business bar ours x

Your mum is embarrassed by their behaviour and trying to minimise it. Buy a new one and as a gesture of goodwill tou could sell the old one in Facebook or something ans split the money you get from the damaged one between them