To make them pay for damaged ballpit

[mummaelle]

I bought my 10 month old a fairly expensive fabric ballpit and balls.
The day after we had family round for drinks, after my dd went to bed my stepfather and older brother had a few too many to drink and were running and jumping in the ballpit and laying across it causing it to misshape.
I was annoyed and shouted at them and moved the ballpit to another room, they could tell I wasn't happy and offered me half the money each to get her a new one.
The next morning, my mum found out what happened and was angry I accepted the money off them and said I shouldn't have taken it and that there was nothing wrong with the ballpit.
She asked me to return the money to them but I refused, after all the damaged my dd brand new ballpit a day after she got it. My mum has fallen out with me over it and told me not to come round until I returned the money.
What do you think, aibu to not return the money and should just get over it??

Buy your DD a nice new ball pit. Give the misshapen one to your stepdad and brother so they can play with it at home to their hearts' content.

I'm sure your DM would feel better if the misshapen ball pit was able to live at her house

@ILookAtTheFloor

Well this thread has been enlightening, I've just googled grey ball pits.

Didn't realise they were a thing.

Me neither!

YANBU Op - your mum should stay out of it. They damaged it & good for them for compensating you, not sure why your mum got involved at all!

i presume the money will affect your mother?

If it was so damaged you had to throw it away then YANBU but if they coughed up and you're still using the damaged one then YABVU.

As you say your DD won't notice and it doesn't affect the functionality of the toy, does that mean you are not planning to replace it?

If so, taking the money is wrong and very grabby.

If you are going to replace it, fair enough, although I probably wouldn't have if the toy was still perfectly useable. I would however having given the pair a little earful about being careful with the children's property.

Your daughter will presumably notice it's misshapen at some point, and that may spoil it for her. Your mum should butt out, if her partner felt he should give you the money to compensate for his stupidity, that's the end of it.

@CurlyWurly321

Look at his face. It says it all.

poor baby looks like he's watching Farrow and Ball Elephants Breath shade paint dry

@Whatinthelord

God who cares what ball pit it is. Fact is it was the baby’s toy and two adults broke it when they were drunk and then, reasonably, offered to replace it. Type of ball pit or opinions on types of ball pits are really not relevant.

This!

I think YABU. Can you not re-shapen it? In the grand scheme of things, you're angry now, but I bet in a few months you won't care, your little one will be jumping and bouncing around in it, they'll probably misshapen it further.

Are you going to buy a new one then? And give the other to charity? I think if you’re replacing it you’re in the right, if you’re just keeping their money then you’re not.

@Somethingwicked9

Not the same but kind of smiler My toddler kicked over a can of coke onto my friends cream carpet someone had left it sitting while she had friends over and he never seen it straight away I tried to clean it but with failed attempts I offered to pay to get carpet cleaned witch cost me £30 my friend agreed and tbh I was happy all the other group was horrified saying you can’t make her pay for that he’s only a baby etc and she tried to back out of letting me pay but as I said to everyone I would of felt awkward every time I came into her house after that seeing the big stain I’d rather just get it cleaned a move on witch we did in the end but now some of the girls don’t talk to her witch like your mum it has nothing to do with them

The person, who was responsible for that was the one, who left the can on the floor. I wonder if that’s one of the girls, who no longer talks to your friend?

I wonder if all these “kids need bright colours” bores also deck their kids out in the pale pink, blue, green clothes that someone must be buying else the companies would stop selling them.

Fact is it was the baby’s toy and two adults broke it when they were drunk and then, reasonably, offered to replace it.

Presumably they also wouldn’t have offered to pay if it had been just a little bit squashed. I love how people decree that something isn’t really broken, without actually seeing the thing that’s broken.

@BoredZelda

I wonder if all these “kids need bright colours” bores also deck their kids out in the pale pink, blue, green clothes that someone must be buying else the companies would stop selling them.

What

Stand your ground, and get a new one. I’d be inclined to deliver the broken one to the Step farther and brother so they can play in it. Totally disrespectful to your child that adults think it’s ok to get drunk and break a child’s play equipment.

Your brother and dad split the money so neither of them is going to be very out of pocket isn't it?
It's the principle of them paying for what they damaged...

They broke it. You did nothing wrong in accepting the money.

If it was broken - they should have given you the money. However, it sounds as though it isn't actually broken (obviously I have not seen it myself). Your DD will probably squash the brick too.

Sorry, but your mum sounds like an absolute asshat... her husband and son caused damage and offered to pay for said damage. That's the normal, decent and courteous thing to do.
What's it got to do with her?? And to say you're not welcome at her house because of it??! Turn it round and tell her she's not welcome in your life until she finds some goddamn respect. Then continue a relationship relationship your bro and stepfather as per normal.

When I was pregnant and had started buying bits for the bubba, my friend brought her 1 year old over. 1 year old proceeded to tear into some of my unborns new books. I wanted to cry! My friend offered me the money, but I knew she was struggling for cash so wouldn't accept it. I actually let her daughter take the books as a gift for her instead. Come my baby shower, along with a separate gift, my friend had bought me the same set of books that i had given her and signed the card from her daughter! I was so emotional, it was such a lovely and naughty thing to do. But thats what decent people do when they damage things that aren't theirs!!!

@Yogalola

Stand your ground, and get a new one. I’d be inclined to deliver the broken one to the Step farther and brother so they can play in it. Totally disrespectful to your child that adults think it’s ok to get drunk and break a child’s play equipment.

Absolutely this^. Mother should keep out of it

I don’t know what planet some people are on, if you go to someone’s house and purposely act in a way that damages their property it’s ok not to pay?

An adult has no need to even go near a babies toys fgs. It’s a fair enough if the baby damages it you expect that but these are adult men playing around on something designed for a child.

Like others, I would say if you plan on using the money to buy a replacement, then YANBU. But if the ‘broken’ one is still being played in, and you don’t feel it’s bad enough to replace, then YABU to pocket the money. I’m guessing they paid you the money to replace it, not as a form of distress and inconvenience payment.

Tell you mum she's welcome to have the misshapen one her drunken boyfriend replaced at her house for when you visit.

Don't think you should have your family round for alcoholic drinks. Sounds like your stepdad and brother don't know their limits and your mother is an enabler.

Buy a new one.

Give them the damaged one.