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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make them pay for damaged ballpit

217 replies

mummaelle · 18/09/2021 20:45

I bought my 10 month old a fairly expensive fabric ballpit and balls.
The day after we had family round for drinks, after my dd went to bed my stepfather and older brother had a few too many to drink and were running and jumping in the ballpit and laying across it causing it to misshape.
I was annoyed and shouted at them and moved the ballpit to another room, they could tell I wasn't happy and offered me half the money each to get her a new one.
The next morning, my mum found out what happened and was angry I accepted the money off them and said I shouldn't have taken it and that there was nothing wrong with the ballpit.
She asked me to return the money to them but I refused, after all the damaged my dd brand new ballpit a day after she got it. My mum has fallen out with me over it and told me not to come round until I returned the money.
What do you think, aibu to not return the money and should just get over it??

OP posts:
CurlyWurly321 · 19/09/2021 06:59

[quote mummaelle]@CurlyWurly321 it is indeed a grey one 🤣🤣 with pink and white balls and it looked perfect in my new build penthouse

I'm one of those 🥲[/quote]
At least you have pink and white balls! ❤️

To be honest, you don't have much choice, when I googled it last night it's 99% grey ballpits.

Anyway, thank you for taking my posts in the jest they were intended (unlike some on here Grin).

For what it's worth, it really doesn't matter what they damaged, or whether it's broken beyond repair or just bent out of shape - they should replace the whole thing and your mum should not be getting involved.

Joystir59 · 19/09/2021 07:20

Sounds like a delightful family

Auroreforet · 19/09/2021 07:21

Accept the money, buy a new ball pit and give the damaged one to your stepfather.
And tell your dm to mind her own business.

Whydidimarryhim · 19/09/2021 07:43

The ones that damaged it are adults. What’s it got to do with your interfering mother - does she have form for this?
Don’t back down.

OhRene · 19/09/2021 07:43

I don't think the OP should have to replace it but she is entitled to the money.

Say it's £50.
That's quite a bit of money to some people. If I bought something fancy for £50 because it looked good and someone damaged it the day after buying it, making it look crap, I'd be furious that the money I'd spent had been wasted. If I wanted something shit looking I'd have paid less, right?

Let's pretend it's an ornament we're talking about that someone chipped. It's still an ornament and still useable but now looks crap and not worth the stupid money I paid.

Perhaps OP should have taken 80% of its value or something. But either way, she still should have been compensated.

Pikamoo · 19/09/2021 07:46

@custardbear

Buy a new ball pit and give them the old one they ruined
Yes, this! If they want to play with a ball pit so much then they can have it.
Inertia · 19/09/2021 07:57

Agree with PPs- buy a new ball pool with the money and give your family the one they broke.

They’re adults, they should know better. I doubt your mum would be happy if you got drunk at her house and started breaking her stuff.

ILookAtTheFloor · 19/09/2021 08:05

Well this thread has been enlightening, I've just googled grey ball pits.

Didn't realise they were a thing.

Shoxfordian · 19/09/2021 08:07

I didn’t even know individual small ball pits were a thing

LolaLouLou · 19/09/2021 08:10

YANBU.

This thread has been enlightening, it has taught me a thing or two about grammar and the latest trends in preschool toys.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/09/2021 08:12

These grey foam things look a lit sturdier than the pop up things we had 10 years ago. They would be broken by a drunk adult jumping on them.

Faevern · 19/09/2021 08:13

So if you’re not buying a new one you are accepting compensation for an aesthetically damaged ball pit 🤔 and therefore your DM thinks YABU.

YANBU to be pissed off that they damaged your child’s toy.
YABU to spend circa £100 on a ball pit.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 19/09/2021 08:13

Don't cave. Take your mother at her word and steer clear.
Perhaps a message saying well, it's a shame you no longer want to see me and your grandchild but I respect your decision and we won't be seeing you again.

Because she doesn't mean it. This is bollocks. She is trying to control you and thinks this ultimatum will do the trick.

ThePlumVan · 19/09/2021 08:21

To start with I was going to say YABU - you have both a useable ball pit AND the money so you’re being grabby.

But what the heck is it got to do with your mother ?
You could ask them if they would like their money back - if they’re happy then leave it as it is. It’s nothing to do with her. And fancy saying don’t call round until you’ve done what she’s demanding. Is she usually the rude and controlling?

pilates · 19/09/2021 08:23

This is a funny thread with the derails. Grey snobbery and the SPAG police. Your stepfather and brother did the decent thing and replaced the damaged ball pit.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 19/09/2021 08:23

They offered to pay. Struggling to see why your mum needs to involve herself in that. Two people act silly when drunk and pay to put it right - job done. Your mum seems to be getting steamed up fro the sake of it, just weird.

TolkiensFallow · 19/09/2021 08:25

I’ve also just googled grey fabric ball pools! The one I saw with pink and white balls was £69.

To be honest if I’d spent £69 on something and an adult damaged it on purpose straight away I’d be really cross and feel disrespected, so I’d take the money if they wrecked it and offered it up but only if I was going to use the money to replace it.

The problem you have is that you can buy a new one and your kids will wreck it and it will get mis shaped pretty quickly as they grow bigger (and covered in dribble, sick and leaky nappy). So it’s going to end up much the same further down the line and everytime any of these family members visit your house, they will be clocking it’s condition…

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 08:27

keep the money,
they are idiots

MrsLargeEmbodied · 19/09/2021 08:28

will your mother miss the money though?

maddy68 · 19/09/2021 08:30

Is it actually broken?
If you can't use it and you need to replace it then accept the money

If it isn't and it's just a bit misshapen then I wouldn't have taken the money.

billy1966 · 19/09/2021 08:31

None of your mother's business.

Enjoy the break from her.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 19/09/2021 08:34

I don’t think you should accept the money if you don’t intend to buy a new one.
However, it’s odd that your Mum is getting so worked up about it.

crazyguineapiglady · 19/09/2021 08:41

If I'd bought something new and expensive for my house (doesn't matter what!) and a couple of drunk adult men damaged it by messing around then I'd definitely expect the money to replace it!

Somehow because it's a child's toy people think it doesn't matter.

Lets say it was a new coffee table and they scratched the surface by dancing on it - yes, it would still be usable but I'd want to replace it.

Whammyyammy · 19/09/2021 08:45

If it was broke and you've bought s new one, then yanbu.
If its ok and you've not bought a new one, yabu

HikingforScenery · 19/09/2021 08:47

If you’re replacing it, fine. If you’re just pocketing the money, that’s just nasty.