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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make them pay for damaged ballpit

217 replies

mummaelle · 18/09/2021 20:45

I bought my 10 month old a fairly expensive fabric ballpit and balls.
The day after we had family round for drinks, after my dd went to bed my stepfather and older brother had a few too many to drink and were running and jumping in the ballpit and laying across it causing it to misshape.
I was annoyed and shouted at them and moved the ballpit to another room, they could tell I wasn't happy and offered me half the money each to get her a new one.
The next morning, my mum found out what happened and was angry I accepted the money off them and said I shouldn't have taken it and that there was nothing wrong with the ballpit.
She asked me to return the money to them but I refused, after all the damaged my dd brand new ballpit a day after she got it. My mum has fallen out with me over it and told me not to come round until I returned the money.
What do you think, aibu to not return the money and should just get over it??

OP posts:

Mamanyt · 19/09/2021 00:24

Had one of the tripped and fallen on it, I would not have taken the money. However, as they were behaving like unruly children, I certainly would. And would tell my mother as much.

Original poster

mummaelle · 19/09/2021 00:34

@CurlyWurly321 it is indeed a grey one 🤣🤣 with pink and white balls and it looked perfect in my new build penthouse

I'm one of those 🥲

OP posts:

Original poster

mummaelle · 19/09/2021 00:37

My mum is very funny when it's anything to do with her partner, basically he's perfect in her eyes and can do no wrong 🤣
She excused their behaviour by saying "all they were doing is having fun" if they were 5 year olds fair enough but they're grown men.

They damage to the ballpit was it misshapen, not it isn't unusable and my dd won't know any different but that isn't the point...

OP posts:

WTF475878237NC · 19/09/2021 00:54

The less we buy plastic toys the better. I would have taken the money for it. It's been damaged, who cares how functional it is. It was new.

DixonD · 19/09/2021 01:00

@CurlyWurly321

Sound like a pair of school girls sniggering at the OP because she’s bought something you clearly think is snobby or whatever.

Something that common cannot be snobby.

I googled it. I think it's a new trend of decor-matching children's items because they're selling around £40-£70 and despite my hatred of all things grey, they do look quite nice and not brightly coloured plasticky blues, pinks and yellows etc.

But the ballpits aren't for the parents. They are for the kids. Who, at that age and above LOVE bright, various colours.

I feel sorry for the kids of grey

I always saw a wooden play gym recently as wel. A wooden play gym with plain wooden dangly bits.
Poor kids who get those for Christmas.

I agree with your sentiment, but you don’t know if OP’s was grey or not and actually it doesn’t matter; it’s irrelevant.

But, a grey ball pit with white and grey balls? The kid would think it was in an old black and white movie. That’s quite depressing. Children love bright colours. Children’s toys should be for them, not the look.

You were right to take the money OP, if you do indeed need to replace it.

DixonD · 19/09/2021 01:01

Oh sorry, missed that. It was a grey one!

But at least you have pink balls OP! 🤣

Caiti19 · 19/09/2021 01:44

Why does your Mum think an agreement between her adult children is any of her business?

Changechangychange · 19/09/2021 02:04

You can put a comma pretty much anywhere you want, it is a stylistic choice.

There is currently no MN Style Guide, so you can please yourself.

girlmom21 · 19/09/2021 02:34

I wouldn't have taken the money if it's still useable tbh.

It'll be covered in snot, sick and dribble before you know it.

Plumtree391 · 19/09/2021 02:36

My first thought on reading this was, how old are these two men? They were behaving like big kids probably egging each other on (pack mentality). I'm not overly impressed with them having too much to drink either.

Nevertheless they are sorry and have given you money to replace the ball pit. Hopefully, lesson learned. Whether the ball pit was badly damaged or only slightly misshapen is irrelevant. If a person is caught driving after having a couple of drinks but have caused no injury or damage, there will still be a penalty.

You were quite right to accept the money and your mother is completely out of order. The ball pit was designed for use by children, not by grown adults. Why your mother isn't telling the pair of them off for being drunk and acting like prats is beyond me; I'd have been ashamed of and apologised endlessly for their behaviour.

Marshmallow91 · 19/09/2021 03:01

Tell your mum "OK that's fine. Guess we won't be seeing you again, because the two boys having fun were adults and adults should take responsibility for their mistakes- otherwise I'll come over to your house when pissed and break some of your favourite things (which will of course be absolutely fine because I'll just be having fun 👍 "

EL8888 · 19/09/2021 03:05

Who made you're Mum boss of the world?! They damaged it = they pay for a new one. They should have ben more careful

tcjotm · 19/09/2021 04:24

@Cillmantain

Your mother shouldn't have got involved. The other 2 were idiots and will think twice before they do something that silly again. Keep the money.

Exactly this. Maybe you can fix it, maybe you can’t. Who cares, they shouldn’t have damaged it and they clearly realised this and made amends. I’m ok with people who make poor decisions and then do their best to rectify the situation. They won’t do it again.

Your mum is just being nasty and interfering. Bet she’d want the money if they’d broken something of hers being stupid.

Pixxie7 · 19/09/2021 04:24

The whole thing sounds ridiculous to me why is your mum so upset, she wasn’t there? Obviously she either can’t afford to loose it or she is just tight.
I would go NC for a couple of weeks and see if she calms down.

MyOtherProfile · 19/09/2021 05:00

They damage to the ballpit was it misshapen, not it isn't unusable and my dd won't know any different but that isn't the point...

So are you going to buy a new one or just use the old one as "your dd won't know any different"?

Sounds like getting them to pay might have been OTT I'd you don't actually need to buy a new one.

Somethingwicked9 · 19/09/2021 05:10

Not the same but kind of smiler My toddler kicked over a can of coke onto my friends cream carpet someone had left it sitting while she had friends over and he never seen it straight away I tried to clean it but with failed attempts I offered to pay to get carpet cleaned witch cost me £30 my friend agreed and tbh I was happy all the other group was horrified saying you can’t make her pay for that he’s only a baby etc and she tried to back out of letting me pay but as I said to everyone I would of felt awkward every time I came into her house after that seeing the big stain I’d rather just get it cleaned a move on witch we did in the end but now some of the girls don’t talk to her witch like your mum it has nothing to do with them

DeathStare · 19/09/2021 05:45

They damage to the ballpit was it misshapen, not it isn't unusable and my dd won't know any different but that isn't the point

Yes that is the point! It was for your DD and if she can still use it and isn't bothered then it doesn't need replacing. The money was to replace something that has been broken. If it doesn't need replacing you are being unreasonable taking their money.

DeadGood · 19/09/2021 06:19

@Somethingwicked9

“now some of the girls don’t talk to her” bloody hell I’m glad I don’t have ‘friends’ like that

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 19/09/2021 06:32

Doesn't matter if its a £5 toy or £50 toy, grown adults broke it while acting like idiots while drunk.
They then did the grown up thing of paying for their damage.
Your mum is being weird...

BobsBurgersisthebest · 19/09/2021 06:36

They damaged your property, so yes they should pay for it.

SD1978 · 19/09/2021 06:36

If you're buying a new one because it's broken, fair enough. But it seems from you last answer you're not replacing it, so keeping the money seems very, very unreasonable!!

MsHedgehog · 19/09/2021 06:40

Agree with others - if you have no intention of replacing it, then you are very unreasonable and cheeky to take the money. If you will replace it, then you did nothing wrong.

Shoxfordian · 19/09/2021 06:49

Your mum needs to mind her own business, they damaged it so they should pay for a new one

Pikamoo · 19/09/2021 06:50

YANBU! I'd be so pissed off if someone ruined DD's new toy because they couldn't hold their drink. Its disrespectful towards her and you - I'm sure they wouldn't like it if she scratched the door of their new car. Yes the car is still usable but that's not the point.

I don't think kids need bright colours. DD loves equally playing with her own colourful toys and playing with things like the tool box, brooms and brushes, old phones and remotes etc that are not colourful at all. I don't think the baby with the wooden baby gym looks bored, that's just what babies look like when they're little.

custardbear · 19/09/2021 06:57

Buy a new ball pit and give them the old one they ruined

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