To ask for your secrets you're taking to the grave

[FuckingFabulous]

Lighthearted, and risk free. Given that this is all anonymous and all that.

When I was fourteen, I was out with my friend after drama club. It was winter and dark and fucking freezing but I was sweating as well as shivering. We were walking to her grandma's house in the next village where I was getting picked up by my stepdad in about an hour. I was quite clearly ill, but my mum had not believed me and sent me to a long day at school. As we were walking, my belly churned and I knew that there was gastric trouble afoot. I excused myself into an innocent looking field for "a wee" but I knew it was not that. Thankfully, there were no street lights at all, so even if someone had come past, they'd not have seen. It was pitch black. My friend kept watch while my bowels evacuated what seemed like water and slime for about five minutes and sweat dripped off my body onto the ground, I can remember how much I was shaking and how I had the weirdest taste of metal in my mouth. When the onslaught ended, I didn't know how to wipe my bum. I took off my school tie, wiped with that and then had no idea what to do so I just discarded it at the scene and shamefully scuttled back to my friend. I was then off school for a week with some kind of horrible intestinal infection.

But the field. The quiet little field I'd chosen to slip over the fence into. It was a graveyard. And I'd relieved myself right next to a war grave. Right before armistice. And left my school tie there. How do I know? Because it was in the school newsletter as a "regrettable incident" and anyone with information as to who the culprit was could report in confidence to the headteacher. I expect the groundskeeper reported it to the school. Even my mum tutted about no respect. Thank god it was over 20 years ago. Nowadays it would have trended with a hashtag and a witch hunt.

And now I have finally told the tale. What's yours?

One of my friends had an affair with a work colleague and got pregnant and had an abortion. Neither her husband or the man she had the affair with knew. This was many years ago. I have never told a soul and never will. We never speak about it.

@PetuniaButterworth

I put the screw in the tuna

😂😂😂 brilliant

@RobertaFirmino

As a student, I had a kind and generous Chinese housemate who loved to cook his mother's recipes for us all. One day, I went to the loo and was stunned to find out I had worms! Ovex didn't seem to work so I went to the GP and had to give a stool sample. In the meantime, I had gone through the embarrassment of telling my housemates I had worms and together, we scrubbed and disinfected the whole house from top to bottom. It took us all day.

A few days later, I went back to the GP. He informed me that I didn't have worms at all. I did, however, need to chew my beansprouts more thoroughly. Seeing as how one housemate spilt Domestos down her front, ruining a £50 top (that was a fair whack in 1996) whilst we were scrubbing, I thought it best to keep quiet.

Sorry. Just seen it’s light hearted . My bad.

My cousin can't stand me. Deep rivalry going back to our childhoods - lots of Golden Child vs Black Sheep stuff going on. That cuts a very long story short.

Anyway, since she just hates not to come first, my DH and I arranged our wedding to be a month before hers. Petty of me, I know, but a small victory after being second best to her for so many years.

One month later, at her wedding; I wore a smart dress and blazer and no briefs underneath. My DH knew, but no one else did. It felt like my own small act of rebellion!

[quote sjxoxo]@blissfulllife I applaud you for this!! Xo[/quote]
X

@LaikasMourner

My cousin can't stand me. Deep rivalry going back to our childhoods - lots of Golden Child vs Black Sheep stuff going on. That cuts a very long story short.

Anyway, since she just hates not to come first, my DH and I arranged our wedding to be a month before hers. Petty of me, I know, but a small victory after being second best to her for so many years.

One month later, at her wedding; I wore a smart dress and blazer and no briefs underneath. My DH knew, but no one else did. It felt like my own small act of rebellion!

Good for you!!

I am youngest of 6 children.
My mum told me that she only wanted 3 children. When pregnant with no.5 ,my sister, she told me she tried to abort her. I've never told my sister, who adored her. They were very close, in fact the sister was the one who cared for her in old age and was with her at her bedside when she died

I was 17, had a drug fuelled night out, desperately needed a poo someone was in the toilet for aaaaggges, i was dancing round the kitchen in my jammy shorts when i farted but it wasn’t a fart a wee poo came flying out, 30 seconds later someone came into the kitchen, thankfully my friend had a cat…. Sorry ginger for blaming it on you 🙀

I know an elite athlete (no longer competing) who doped. They are now famous, powerful, and very rich and would be ruined if it got out.

But they also do a lot of work for the wider good. I don't agree with what they did, but I'm not going to be the one leaking that out.

@crankysaurus

Sorry, I'm taking my 'secrets that I'm taking to the grave' to the grave with me.

this

@FuckingFabulous "I did consider scooting my arse across the floor"

😂😂 The mental image in my head this created, you have made my day!

At junior school, I used to get back to the classroom early after lunch and if no one else was in there, hide things belonging to the other children. Usually in someone else’s desk but sometimes just behind cupboards etc. Not quite sure why I did it now, but I think I just liked messing with people’s heads.

@DeedledeDee

I am youngest of 6 children. My mum told me that she only wanted 3 children. When pregnant with no.5 ,my sister, she told me she tried to abort her. I've never told my sister, who adored her. They were very close, in fact the sister was the one who cared for her in old age and was with her at her bedside when she died

I know a very similar story to this except the child was a boy. The lady had horrific Post natal psychosis with her previous children back in the 50's and asked for a termination but was refused.

Wait op, if your friend was lookout doesn't that mean she knew it was you?

My brother was a bully growing up. I cleaned the loo with his toothbrush and put water in his shampoo bottle.

He guessed about the shampoo but not the toothbrush.

@Susannahmoody I can’t stop laughing 😂😂😂

I stole a newspaper from WH Smith every day for two years. Tucked it under my arm while I bought my lunch and strolled out.

OP, your friend really was a good friend for not dropping you in it!

When I was a broke student I temped to make ends meet. One of the secretaries for whom I was covering had the biggest stash of biscuits that she kept in the kitchen - loads! (She had family who worked at the local biscuit factory rather than a strange biscuit fetish ). Anyhow, I couldn’t afford to buy my lunch and there were all these biscuits, so I used to nick them. Told myself she had far too many for one person anyway.

@BlameItOnTheBlackStar

Oooh. I worked in WH Smiths when I was in high school. We had quite a few people who did that. Really weren't paid enough to deal with it but we watched, silently judged and gossiped about you all when you left. On a few occasions we would tut and tell the next customer what they'd done if that customer asked!

I murdered 6 people. I buried the bodies in numerous places and left clues on each body, as to where to find the next one.

Unfortunately nobody has found the first clue 🙄 if you had you would now be in receipt of £100 as that’s the grand prize

@ShaneTheThird

Wait op, if your friend was lookout doesn't that mean she knew it was you?

She never said if she did. I had stated that I was only going for a wee and I don't know if she knew it was a graveyard or not!

Aged about 14, at Guide camp. Had my period, went to wash block to change my towel. I don't know how, but somehow I forgot to put my used towel in the bin and it stayed on the floor until someone discovered it later. Leader had a stern talk with us and everyone grimaced and went on about how disgusting that was and what sort of sicko would leave used sanitary towels lying around. I joined in, of course. Luckily I was so boring I don't think anyone suspected me.