Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU?! Husband told me to kill myself 'in jest'.

126 replies

Maddysheep · 16/09/2021 19:51

Hi.
With the go ahead from my GP, I recently tapered off my antidepressants, that I've been on for a long time.
It's been a struggle and I've been pretty down and depressed while I wait for my moods to sort of regulate themselves.
My husband knows that I've found it difficult,

I was in a pretty dark place last week but I am just trying to ride it out and starting to feel a wee bit better.
Anyhow, this evening hasn't been too fun so far. Kids are all tired from school, they refused to eat dinner, I've got tonnes of actual work and house work to do. Anyway I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and I've muttered that this is all just too much. My husband hearing this, whispers in to my ear 'you should just kill yourself then'.
I'm totally taken aback by his comment.
He says he was joking and doesn't understand why I'm so upset by it.
He knows how hard life has been recently.
Plus it really weirded me out that he whispered it into my ear. We were alone in a room together and he walked over to me and whispered it.
I'm thinking maybe he's feeling burdened by my depression which is understandable but still.
Its made me feel quite sick but he still insists he meant it in jest.
Is it just me that thinks suicide isn't something to joke about?

OP posts:
Sunshinedrops85 · 16/09/2021 19:54

It's nasty OP and I also struggle with suicidal depression too.I would never dream of saying to it to another human.

FannytheW0nderDog · 16/09/2021 19:54

YANBU What an utter dickhead. I would never joke about suicide to anyone. Hugs to you from me Flowers

ClemDanFango · 16/09/2021 19:56

Christ that’s fucking unacceptable and then to gaslight by calling it a joke. I’d be fucking livid.

Leaveitonthefloordrobe · 16/09/2021 19:57

I'm with you OP. Suicide's not a joking matter and shouldn't be treated as such. I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed with everything, but yanbu about this Flowers

whoknew23 · 16/09/2021 19:57

He's an arse, I don't think I could stay with someone if they made that comment . I've been struggling with being low this week and not once has my husband said anything as mean as that.

DoesHePlayTheFiddle · 16/09/2021 19:57

Not funny. At all.
Leave him.

evrey · 16/09/2021 19:58

What the hell! Who says that to anyone ! Never mind your wife who is struggling atm .
It's not funny, it doesn't pass as sarcasm, it's just weird.

HurryUpAndWait23 · 16/09/2021 19:58

Hmmm....

AnotherEmma · 16/09/2021 19:59

That is creepy as fuck, whispering it in your ear like that. What a nasty bastard.

I wonder if his behaviour has anything to do with your depression, OP?

WomanStanleyWoman · 16/09/2021 19:59

Whisper in his ear ‘I want a divorce’. And tell him you’re not joking.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 16/09/2021 20:01

My DH has recently been going through a very dark phase and we have spoken about it and dealt with it in many different ways.

I have a very dark sense of humour. At one point during his recovery I made a quip about him staying away from train lines but realised this was insensitive and I apologised. (He was fine about it.)

I would never, ever, suggest suicide when DH was telling me he was feeling overwhelmed. This seems extraordinarily hurtful and mean.

lannistunut · 16/09/2021 20:04

Wow, that is dreadful from him.

Suicide can be a joking matter in the right circs IMO, but what he did was a) not funny and b) pretty odd given you are coming off ADs and having a hard time.

Dita73 · 16/09/2021 20:04

He’s a shit. Horrible thing to say. Why are you coming off your antidepressants? It sounds like you’re still struggling a bit and it might not be a great time to come off them

HatsOnHatsOff · 16/09/2021 20:06

What a nasty thing to do. You are depressed, it sounds like he might be the root cause. Thats truly vile.

Glssr195726113493 · 16/09/2021 20:09

I’m sorry OP, but this is unbelievably sinister. And he only claimed it as a joke because you reacted to what he said.

You’d be forgiven for wondering if your husband hoped you would end your own life as it would make his life easier. And because of that, if I were you, I would have to leave him. How do you go back from there? Hornedous.

Merryoldgoat · 16/09/2021 20:10

That’s horribly vile.

Blue4YOU · 16/09/2021 20:12

Jesus Christ that is on a par with some of the worst things I’ve ever heard

islandhoppin · 16/09/2021 20:13

Seems very, very sinister to whisper it into your ear in an otherwise empty room... Sad

cushioncovers · 16/09/2021 20:13

I think he's shown his true colours there op.

Mammma91 · 16/09/2021 20:13

I wouldn’t even dream of tolerating that OP. Sorry you’ve had a tough week. He should have shut his mouth and helped you! What an absolutely dreadful person. You deserve so much better. I hope you hand his arse to him when you feel more stable and leave him. I really hope your ok OP Flowers

Vallmo47 · 16/09/2021 20:14

Wow, OP. That is not okay.

BronwenFrideswide · 16/09/2021 20:15

That's awful, OP, really awful. You are not wrong to be upset and there is no way that comment whispered in your ear is a joke, nor can it be defended by being in jest. Horrible.

Dillydollydingdong · 16/09/2021 20:16

How on earth can that be called a joke, when it's the very opposite of funny?

HollowTalk · 16/09/2021 20:16

That's appalling.

NewMutiny · 16/09/2021 20:17

@islandhoppin

Seems very, very sinister to whisper it into your ear in an otherwise empty room... Sad
This. Confused