AIBU?! Husband told me to kill myself 'in jest'.

[Maddysheep]

Hi.
With the go ahead from my GP, I recently tapered off my antidepressants, that I've been on for a long time.
It's been a struggle and I've been pretty down and depressed while I wait for my moods to sort of regulate themselves.
My husband knows that I've found it difficult,

I was in a pretty dark place last week but I am just trying to ride it out and starting to feel a wee bit better.
Anyhow, this evening hasn't been too fun so far. Kids are all tired from school, they refused to eat dinner, I've got tonnes of actual work and house work to do. Anyway I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and I've muttered that this is all just too much. My husband hearing this, whispers in to my ear 'you should just kill yourself then'.
I'm totally taken aback by his comment.
He says he was joking and doesn't understand why I'm so upset by it.
He knows how hard life has been recently.
Plus it really weirded me out that he whispered it into my ear. We were alone in a room together and he walked over to me and whispered it.
I'm thinking maybe he's feeling burdened by my depression which is understandable but still.
Its made me feel quite sick but he still insists he meant it in jest.
Is it just me that thinks suicide isn't something to joke about?

OP that is unbelievably sinister 😳
I don't think I could stay with him after that.

Not something to be joked about at all. He owes you a massive apology.

That really is beyond horrifying....... I have been open with my husband about how overwhelmed I feel sometimes and I sincerely hope that he would never ever consider saying something like that to me 😢
Please protect yourself and get some space from him.

It sounds like he holds you in contempt, doesnt value you at all and has no respect for you. Hes been hiding it well, so now his mask has slipped you are shocked.
You ll be wise to get a plan B, for when you want to leave his pathetic arse.

No. Just...No.

In No way funny and he owes you a massive apology at the very least.

@Mumoftwo1990

If exasperated, it would have come out as a thoughtless comment he didn’t bite back in time.

He walked across the room and whispered it in her ear. That isn’t exasperation, is it?

That is an utterly appalling thing to say to you OP.

What a disgusting human being.

Take care 💐💐💐

I have never said this but I am now.

LTB.

That is inexcusable!!

That's horrible. From the title I expected it to be in a joking around situation, which still wouldn't have been right in my opinion but could have just been seen as ill judged, especially as i understand its becoming a more common taunt with some online gamers.

But in the situation you describe, when you were down and he knows you've been depressed, and whispering it in your ear... I'm shocked to be honest.

I think you should show him this thread OP

This is disgusting. What a nasty bastard

I think you should show him this thread OP

Er no, definitely don't do that. That is about the worst possible advice when you are dealing with an abusive man.

That is disgusting behaviour from your husband.

I would be keeping my distance from him while deciding what to do. If he tries to brush this off as a joke and expects you to just let it go that even more worrying.

Can I ask why you are coming off your anti-depressants now? I only ask because in my experience some GPs get really fixed on lowering your dose without considering whether it is the right time or management for you.

I can't get my head around how he could not only do this in the first place but then make out like you shouldn't be upset by it. Horrible.

Oh and whatever you do don't show him this thread

Why people still give out that shit advice is beyond me.

@iloveruby

Oh and whatever you do don't show him this thread

Why people still give out that shit advice is beyond me.

This

Yes would be unwise to show him this thread. He sounds quite unhinged.

F him. Leave.

No questions asked.

More to the point, are you ok?

Utterly unacceptable. Utterly.

Jokes are supposed to be funny. It wasn’t a joke. It may have been a cruel jibe rather than a direct order, but whatever it was, it was not in any way ok

My kids will occasionally say KYS to each other in a jokey way when they’re bickering but every time I will tell them that’s not ok even as a joke.

A grown man shouldn’t need telling this. I also wonder if a lot of your depression might be alleviated if you weren’t living with such a bastard. I know it will feel overwhelming to even consider that when you’re already low, but just know that it’s an option. A kind and supportive partner wouldn’t dream of saying something so nasty, so I have trouble imagining that he’s bringing anything other than a sense of stability to your life by remaining in it.

If he’s otherwise kind and caring and this was really just a one-off aberration then he needs to be very sorry about it, bot dismissing it.

I hope you’re ok

Fuck me, he's a horrible person. That's unforgivable. Poor you, OP. That must be so hurtful, and sinister frankly. I hope you're OK.

Bloody hell, that's creepy!

Do you have cctv in your home? The only reason I could see as to him whispering it would be so others didn't hear but if you're in an empty room together not wanting it caught on a recording would also make sense. And that would be even more concerning.

That's terrible.

YANBU. He is extremely insensitive, especially given your health history.

I am wondering whether your need for antidepressants is in any way linked to being married to someone utterly vile and without empathy or compassion.

I cannot imagine ever saying something so evil to another human being, particularly one who was clearly struggling that day and finding life hard.

His lack of remorse suggests he has no feelings whatsoever.

Wtaf. How is that a joke? Brother died from suicide, it’s not in anyway a joke. OP that must have been horrible and a dreadful shock I’m sorry. Really weird and creepy.