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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have completely changed my mind about WFH?

890 replies

MauvePinkRose · 16/09/2021 07:30

I know there is a WFH thread but I mean this more generally than the specific things about it that are driving me to drink!

Pre pandemic, I would have said that WFH was a positive thing that employers should absolutely allow, reducing traffic and therefore pollution, allowing more quality time at home.

Now, I’ve changed my mind.

I think it’s having a negative impact on public transport, which in turn will lead to redundancies and reduced public transport, which is bad news for those who can’t drive. It is also having a knock on effect on things like coffee kiosks and sandwich bars.

Then, I’m not convinced that WFH is as productive as people think. I don’t know what’s going on with DVLA for instance but I am still waiting for a driving license I sent off for three months ago and you can’t get through on the phones.

It’s turned family homes into workplaces and thus impacts everyone. I’ve had some really stressful and unpleasant times because of it.

And I do think it’s not very healthy. Dp rarely leaves the house without me, has gained weight and falls ill all the time as I just feel he isn’t gaining any natural immunity.

I’ll probably be flamed by all the WFHers now Smile

OP posts:
RosyPoesy · 16/09/2021 14:58

The point is I can't, can I? Because most companies have closed them, or or you're only allowed to go 2 days a week.
There are loads of jobs that aren’t wfh. Retail. Driving. Medicine. Lab work. Teaching. Sales. If you don’t want to wfh then you have options. And now the people who do want to wfh have options too.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 16/09/2021 14:59

This thread is the new SAHM vs WOHM one Sad

Thesandmanishere · 16/09/2021 15:00

Just wait for the mental health implications to set in

Comments like this baffle me. You do realise mental health service were already stretched beyond breaking point pre-pandemic, don't you?

Much like homeschooling during a pandemic bears no relation to what home education is actually like, WFH during a pandemic really bears little relation to what it is like during normal times.

Babymamaroon · 16/09/2021 15:01

@Rozziie I've always been a flexible worker so this isn't about my choices. Even pre-kids, I always appreciated the days at home.

For others who had to commute and juggle it all, having the ability to WFH is life changing.

No one is stopping you from finding a communal work space to go to so perhaps have a look at what you can control and do to make your working week better.

RosyPoesy · 16/09/2021 15:02

Just wait for the mental health implications to set in
For example people being less stressed, more relaxed, getting more sleep, having more time for families and hobbies. Not everyone is a social butterfly who wastes their employer’s time gossiping at work.

Rozziie · 16/09/2021 15:09

@RosyPoesy

The point is I can't, can I? Because most companies have closed them, or or you're only allowed to go 2 days a week. There are loads of jobs that aren’t wfh. Retail. Driving. Medicine. Lab work. Teaching. Sales. If you don’t want to wfh then you have options. And now the people who do want to wfh have options too.
Right, so now I have to change my entire career to accommodate people who want a different working environment to the one they signed up for when they took the job.

Not entitled at all, are you?

Rozziie · 16/09/2021 15:10

@Thesandmanishere

Just wait for the mental health implications to set in

Comments like this baffle me. You do realise mental health service were already stretched beyond breaking point pre-pandemic, don't you?

Much like homeschooling during a pandemic bears no relation to what home education is actually like, WFH during a pandemic really bears little relation to what it is like during normal times.

I spent years working from home...that's the entire bloody point! It's lonely and isolating for people who don't have families etc. and especially people living in cramped conditions with no dedicated workspace.

But of course, you're alright Jack.

RosyPoesy · 16/09/2021 15:12

Right, so now I have to change my entire career to accommodate people who want a different working environment
I’ve had to accommodate people like you for decades, because you want to work in an office 5 days a week and it doesn’t suit me. Now you’re getting a taste of your own medicine. Yah boo, sucks to be you!

Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 16/09/2021 15:18

Not the point of the thread but I just my licence back after 4 months so give it a bit longer!

Thesandmanishere · 16/09/2021 15:19

Right, so now I have to change my entire career to accommodate people who want a different working environment

That's literally what you've told others to do.

Polkadotties · 16/09/2021 15:20

Pre covid i was on 60mg of fluoxetine for depression. I dragged my arse into work while I felt shit as I had already had time off for my mental health and was worried about how having more time off would be perceived. Sitting in an noisy office, not being able to concentrate, feeling like I was about to burst into tears at any given moment compounded how I was feeling.
Since covid and wfh I am medication free. I get more sleep, I have more time to exercise, I eat healthier, I can concentrate on my work.
I understand that wfh isn’t for all and that loneliness is a big issues but please understand that for a lot of people wfh is a hugely positive thing. Just because the norm was office based it doesn’t mean it has to stay like that.

Thesandmanishere · 16/09/2021 15:20

I spent years working from home...that's the entire bloody point

Well why - given by your own admission, office work was the default?

Rozziie · 16/09/2021 15:25

@Thesandmanishere

Right, so now I have to change my entire career to accommodate people who want a different working environment

That's literally what you've told others to do.

Who here signed up to work from home indefinitely? I very much doubt everyone on the thread has only been in their job or career since last March.
Rozziie · 16/09/2021 15:26

@Thesandmanishere

I spent years working from home...that's the entire bloody point

Well why - given by your own admission, office work was the default?

Because I had a physical illness - do try to keep up, dear.

Difference was, I saw it as my own issue to sort out. I didn't demand that everyone else in the world was forced to work from home because it suited me. And that was something that, unlike children, I didn't choose.

Rozziie · 16/09/2021 15:28

@RosyPoesy

Right, so now I have to change my entire career to accommodate people who want a different working environment I’ve had to accommodate people like you for decades, because you want to work in an office 5 days a week and it doesn’t suit me. Now you’re getting a taste of your own medicine. Yah boo, sucks to be you!
I don't want to work in an office 5 days a week. I want to have the option to do so. Not have to work in some soulless coworking space because all the offices have been sold off.

I also spent years working from home because of a physical illness. Didn't expect the rest of the world to accommodate me. Just got on with it.

StrongerThanA90sTrend · 16/09/2021 15:31

I got a work from home job last year. It was great while everyone was at home (dp was on furlough, dc1 back at school, dc2 occupied by dp)

When dp went back to work in the office, I was wfh, doing school runs, and looking after dc2 when not at preschool. It ended up being quite depressing really. And a bit lonely, actually.

I've just started my new job in an actual office and I'm so happy to get out the house, see actual humans that don't demand snacks all the time.

So, I agree. I think having that flexibility is a good thing, but I actually don't think everyone being stuck in their homes all the time is very healthy for anyone.

thecatsthecats · 16/09/2021 15:40

Shittily run organisations will remain shitty, or become worse. Well run ones will thrive.

My husband has lost three stone. My mental and physical health have both improved due to wfh.

And my company's productivity and job satisfaction shot through the roof - including inducting and mentoring new staff.

It's not all of one or the other, and frankly I'm sick of the lobbying to continue a norm that wasn't working for many people for the sake of those it did suit.

(and since I'm bored of writing my homily on the matter - my role involves service automation and outsourcing, and I have an acute understanding of the likelihood of this)

Thesandmanishere · 16/09/2021 15:45

Didn't expect the rest of the world to accommodate me. Just got on with it.

Your ableism is showing.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 16/09/2021 15:46

Not have to work in some soulless coworking space because all the offices have been sold off

I would have thought a co-working space was nicer than most offices. Obviously depends, but most seem to be really nice (but correspondingly expensive).

Thesandmanishere · 16/09/2021 15:47

I actually don't think everyone being stuck in their homes all the time is very healthy for anyone.

Yes, it was definitely much better when I left my home, sat on a stuffy train for an hour, went and sat in an air conditioned office all day and then came back home again.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 16/09/2021 15:50

@RosyPoesy

We are now all being forced to WFH most of the time There are lots of jobs that aren’t wfh. Go and get one of those, and stop trying to control other people’s lives and work.
People are not being forced to WFH. My husband's office is open and if he wanted to go in every day he could. He goes in one day a week.

My employer's office is also open and if I wanted to go in ever
y day I also could. I will probably go in one day a week from next month.

If you work for an employer that has got rid of its offices, I imagine there are plenty of other employers who haven't. There is a lot of "churn" going on at the moment as people who are being told to go back to offices and want to WFH change to employers who will allow them to do so, and vice versa.

lockdownmadnessdotcom · 16/09/2021 15:52

@Thesandmanishere

I actually don't think everyone being stuck in their homes all the time is very healthy for anyone.

Yes, it was definitely much better when I left my home, sat on a stuffy train for an hour, went and sat in an air conditioned office all day and then came back home again.

People aren't stuck in their homes though. They can go out in the morning before work (which my DH tends to do), at lunchtime, after work. If you want to do things in the evenings, you can, because you don't have to commute.

There is going to be quite a difference in perspective between those who have to waste time and money commuting and those who have a 10 minutes walk, cycle ride or drive to the office. If you live close by and are home by 6pm anyway, you won't care whether you work from home or not. If you have a 90 minute commute which you've largely avoided for the last 18 months you are going to have a very different view.

seasidehouse · 16/09/2021 15:59

Regarding your driving licence , I changed details on line last Monday and had it returned last Thursday , so maybe contact them online ?

Rozziie · 16/09/2021 16:06

@Thesandmanishere

Didn't expect the rest of the world to accommodate me. Just got on with it.

Your ableism is showing.

why do you think your needs are more important than everyone else's? It's incredibly arrogant. I could call you ableist for supporting mass WFH when it's terrible for many people.
Scr1bblyGum · 16/09/2021 16:07

My husband is stuck in doors 9-5 seeing nobody. It’s shit and having a real impact on mental health.