To ask what to do if anything about neighbours loud shagging?

[ShaggerDoDoDo]

Lived here a couple of months. Amazing house semi-detached. Next door has 3 young kids.

Over the last week, NDNs have been having such noisy sex that the wardrobes in the bedroom are shaking. She’s a screamer, and she then wakes her own baby which starts screaming too! Last night, they shagged and screamed til the baby woke up, got it back to sleep, then shagged and sleep til it woke up screaming again!

We are tired! And work FT.

Having had noisy neighbours in the past I’d hoped for a fresh start here. Am tempted to put a note through the letterbox but DH says no 😆

AIBU to ask what (if anything) to do?!

YANBU - pop a note through
YABU - here’s a better idea…

Or some loud music on speakers turned to the wall at the right point... maybe we can suggest some tracks?

Relax - Frankie goes to Hollywood 😁

@Kanaloa

Start playing La Bamba every morning at about 5am loudly enough to wake them up. After one/two weeks, start also playing La Bamba every time they have sex.

They will associate the song with being woken up in the early hours and being stressed and will not be able to get aroused while it’s playing. You know, Pavlovian style.

Sheer genius!

@PyongyangKipperbang

So loud that her kids can hear (presumably the older kids will be awake too but the baby is the only one making a row) would be v v frowned upon by SS. Worth a call imo.

As a social worker I can promise you we don't go around frowning on people Well we do but on mumsnet and in our own time. We aren't employed by the state to frown on people. Is it harmful? Possibly. Depends on the ages of the children and whether they are actually being woken up. Baby might be in the same room with other children elsewhere and not hearing it.

OP just stick a note through the door. 'Your sex life is none of our business unless it's waking us up and disturbing the kids. Please keep it down'.

Play the 1812 overture along with the noises, try to time the cannons accordingly.

@Scbchl

Iv had to deal with this, I went to her door and said this is a really awkward convo to have so I apologise but is there any chance you can move your bed off the wall that backs on to ours. You are waking the girls up everynight with it banging off it and the accompanying noise, so sorry to have to bring it up.

She went red and apologised, must of moved her bed and toned down the amateur theatrics. Then moved less than a year later 🙈

Perfect.... To the point without being crude or offensive.

@talkalarm

They know they can be heard, who actually needs to really scream during sex. Poor kids. The need for such performance fucking (I can only assume she's faking) with complete disregard for their own child's sleep is weird.

^ I have to agree with this.

I’d definitely say something though.

How do they have the energy! Maybe a bang on the wall would cool their ardour? I would hesitate re putting a note through, as it is sort of after the event if you see what I mean .

We had a very similar situation in our old house. I started with a face to face conversation which kept things quiet for a short while. When things started up again I eventually popped a note through, a bit more sternly written then my first conversation basically saying that it wasn't on, we didn't want to be voyeurs in their sex life and the needlessly loud screaming was ridiculous. They moved out a few months later.... hopefully to a detached property.

Respect to you!! I’m impressed. I’d love to do that but no way would husband want me to

Why does he get to dictate?

Just bang on the wall and tell them to shut up.

Record their noises and leave them playing on repeat when you go to work. Make sure you start them really early and on full volume. If you go away for the weekend, leave them all constantly.

Simple note saying “sick and tired of hearing you faking it and going for that Oscar”.

@simitra

This happened to me in my first flat (1960s) when my living room adjoined th next door bedroom. Loud shagging noises while watching TV. Obviously did not keep me awake as my bedroom was on the end of the block.

A couple of weeks later I discovered it was a young gay couple who lived there when I met them in the corridor. We got chatting and they invited me in for coffee. I was then able to tell them frankly about the noises coming through the wall. This was before the 1967 Sexual Offences Act so I made the point that their underneath neighbours might be able to hear as well. I never heard them again. We became quite good friends and I was sorry when they moved away.

This is sad, the stress people had to live with

On the other hand, if we made sex illegal for everyone it would solve the op's problem!

Every time it starts up play the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song really loud. They’ll catch on.

I’m just kidding, but yeah you should probably have a quiet word.

If the make is not the father of the children then actually this could be quite abusive....

Male not make opps!

@OneMoreStitch

Screaming during sex with three small children. It's probably not a popular opinion, but I think that's abusive. It's certainly disgusting.

I'd start playing loud (and very un-sexy) music right against the wall every time they get too loud.

It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact. Being exposed to adult sexual activity is sexual abuse.

Those poor kids. They must know they can be heard. I’d do a note through the door. I can’t believe they keep the volume so much they wake the baby. That’s awful.

Record them and play it back, very loudly, when they've finished. An aria for their post coital cigarette
If it continues play it out of the window 😂
Over time you can make a montage / mixtape of their ooh ah noises.

@Mumoblue

Every time it starts up play the Thomas the Tank Engine theme song really loud. They’ll catch on.

I’m just kidding, but yeah you should probably have a quiet word.

😂🤣😂🤣😂

Look Im a screamer. And when I'm screaming during sex I genuinely can't help it, it just escapes and the sounds are fucking weird, like I'm an injured dog auditioning for opera. But I live in the countryside so have no neighbours.

Also, it does not happen every time. Maybe 1/4. The rest of the time I am relatively quiet. Which makes me think you're getting a purposeful show. So I'd definitely go knock on the door and politely ask them to keep it down. If it doesn't work, some of the other suggestions above will (coppers at window, rating out of 10, la Bamba etc). Good luck.

Change the wifi to 'we can hear you having sex'

We had this for months. She was so obviously faking it. After one particularly loud night. I shouted "Shut the fuck up." She seemed to tone it down slightly from then. Luckily she moved not long after.

I would clap and whoop at the end.

@crowsfeet57

Next time they start up, knock on the door with a crucifix and a bottle of holy water and tell them you've come to exorcise the poltergeist who keeps waking the baby.

Oh this is fantastic 😂