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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what to do if anything about neighbours loud shagging?

210 replies

ShaggerDoDoDo · 15/09/2021 23:08

Lived here a couple of months. Amazing house semi-detached. Next door has 3 young kids.

Over the last week, NDNs have been having such noisy sex that the wardrobes in the bedroom are shaking. She’s a screamer, and she then wakes her own baby which starts screaming too! Last night, they shagged and screamed til the baby woke up, got it back to sleep, then shagged and sleep til it woke up screaming again!

We are tired! And work FT.

Having had noisy neighbours in the past I’d hoped for a fresh start here. Am tempted to put a note through the letterbox but DH says no 😆

AIBU to ask what (if anything) to do?!

YANBU - pop a note through
YABU - here’s a better idea…

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 16/09/2021 01:03

Start playing La Bamba every morning at about 5am loudly enough to wake them up. After one/two weeks, start also playing La Bamba every time they have sex.

They will associate the song with being woken up in the early hours and being stressed and will not be able to get aroused while it’s playing. You know, Pavlovian style.

simitra · 16/09/2021 01:12

This happened to me in my first flat (1960s) when my living room adjoined th next door bedroom. Loud shagging noises while watching TV. Obviously did not keep me awake as my bedroom was on the end of the block.

A couple of weeks later I discovered it was a young gay couple who lived there when I met them in the corridor. We got chatting and they invited me in for coffee. I was then able to tell them frankly about the noises coming through the wall. This was before the 1967 Sexual Offences Act so I made the point that their underneath neighbours might be able to hear as well. I never heard them again. We became quite good friends and I was sorry when they moved away.

Hannsmum · 16/09/2021 01:15

@RicherThanYew

Could you post leaflets for companies that do soundproofing?
🤣🤣
emlouwat · 16/09/2021 01:20

Feel a bit sad for her kids if these are noises made with a "new fella".

EngelbertsRumpispink · 16/09/2021 01:49

@lynntheyresexpeople

Start screaming sex noises back through the wall, make it a contest.
This. Once (many years ago) after I was so tired of hearing it, I invited a couple of my friends over, and we had a few cocktails waiting for shag time. Once it going, we all faced the ceiling and loudly mimicked back the same shouts/moans that she was making. It slowed (as I guess they heard) and then stopped. I never heard it quite so loudly again - at least nothing that the telly, or a CD couldn't drown out. Grin
OneMoreStitch · 16/09/2021 01:53

Screaming during sex with three small children. It's probably not a popular opinion, but I think that's abusive. It's certainly disgusting.

I'd start playing loud (and very un-sexy) music right against the wall every time they get too loud.

OneMoreStitch · 16/09/2021 01:55
Blush ...Eh, and I meant screaming during sex with three small children in the house, of course... If she's loud enough to wake the baby, I'm sure the older two can hear it, too. Shameful behaviour, imo.
Scarby9 · 16/09/2021 02:28

I banged on the wall. They banged back but then went quiet.
We avoided each other for a week or so, then muttered 'morning' and pretended nothing had happened.
But they kept the noise down after that.

1forAll74 · 16/09/2021 02:48

I would record it all, then play it back to them on loud, if you catch them out and about one day. They will probably be having another baby soon, to add to all the noise.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/09/2021 03:10

So loud that her kids can hear (presumably the older kids will be awake too but the baby is the only one making a row) would be v v frowned upon by SS. Worth a call imo.

Newmum29 · 16/09/2021 03:37

Cmon be reasonable. Social services are not going to be interested and it’s completely ridiculous if you haven’t told her you can hear her.

Some people genuinely don’t know how much sound travels. If she can’t hear you she may assume you can’t hear her. I think it’s a massive assumption that they’re getting turned on by you being able to hear..

Just knock and tell her politely you can hear and ask her if she could keep it down.

sykadelic · 16/09/2021 03:58

If you're not comfortable talking to her then I would consider a letter because it's the polite thing to do. An anonymous letter isn't going to help because it's probably going to be obvious it's you anyway.

"Welcome to the neighbourhood! It seems you've been having some wonderful nights the last week or so, however sadly, I have not.

I was hoping you wouldn't mind moving your bed from against the wall to stop it bumping against the wall and shaking my cupboards.

If you own the house, I'd love to talk about some soundproofing options but if you don't, please let me know the names of the owner(s) so we can. "

MyMabel · 16/09/2021 04:08

Do you have said new neighbour on Facebook yet? I would post a single winking emoji on her wall every time they finish they’re performance. The paranoia should be enough to stop them eventually.

MyMabel · 16/09/2021 04:10

Or this I guess.

To ask what to do if anything about neighbours loud shagging?
Elderflower14 · 16/09/2021 04:18

@Mamanyt

"Dear Neighbors,

Judging from volume of screaming and shaking wardrobes, my DH and I give you a solid "10." However, we are losing sleep and getting grumpy. Expect future scores to drop accordingly!"

Love this 💕 💕
whenthedoveslie · 16/09/2021 04:39

Screaming during sex with three small children. It's probably not a popular opinion, but I think that's abusive. It's certainly disgusting.

I have to agree.

anon12345678901 · 16/09/2021 04:59

@OneMoreStitch

Screaming during sex with three small children. It's probably not a popular opinion, but I think that's abusive. It's certainly disgusting.

I'd start playing loud (and very un-sexy) music right against the wall every time they get too loud.

I think so too. Just keep it quiet.

OP I think at this point I'd be posting a gag through her door 😂

TarpaulinEyes · 16/09/2021 05:04

Either one of these played through your wall full blast should give your neighbours pause for thought. They are women ululating, very loud high pitched noise. I remember reading a while back on MN them suggested as something to play to noisy neighbours. You will need earplugs for yourself!

Anon778833 · 16/09/2021 05:11

Bless this through the wall at them lol

Anon778833 · 16/09/2021 05:13

Seriously, some people who do this do it because they get a kick out of everyone hearing them. Eww.

Shelddd · 16/09/2021 05:21

@Plumtree391

Gosh your walls are thin! I live in a semi and can barely hear anything from the house adjoining me, there are four of them too, all normal, happy and active.

I don't know what you can do (apart from moving to somewhere with more solid walls), it's a delicate situation. They probably don't realise they can be heard. Bang on the wall?

Of course they realise they can be heard, that's why they're being so loud.

It's like people who are naked in front of open windows, they know people can see them, that's the point.

ThisIsNotAGloveSong · 16/09/2021 05:55

I would play the Hallelujah chorus at full blast every time they finish. I think they'll soon stop.

Cailinrua1979 · 16/09/2021 05:57

@Summerdayshaze

Ugh. I think that’s really grim with their children in the house. Deeply inappropriate.
I totally agree, poor children. Exposure to this is actually beyond inappropriate.
torquewench · 16/09/2021 06:04

I'm now a bit relieved that my neighbours are in their 80s. I occasionally hear them shouting at football on the TV but that's it 😅

TangoWhiskyAlphaTango · 16/09/2021 06:10

I had this is in my last house. I have literally never heard anything like it. I don't know why I surprised because everything they did next door was LOUD. They and a teenager plus a 9 year old too poor kids. Worst of it is I had a new partner and my 16 yo DD thought it was me until I asked her if she heard the noise last night?! DD was most relieved it wasnt me she could hear wailing like a fox on heat.