Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Husband against Covid vaccine

150 replies

Ellybridge22 · 14/09/2021 20:32

Hi,
Just wondered if there is anyone out there unfortunate enough to have such different views on the Covid vaccine that it may end their marriage. He is so against it that he has said he'll leave me if I have it. I want to have it, but also don't want us to split as we have two young kids...

OP posts:

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 14/09/2021 23:12

@Ellybridge22

Thanks for all your responses.

He is so fearful of bad side effects, and thinks there could be long-term ones that no one knows about yet. He says he couldn't live with the stress of worrying that I'd be badly affected by it.

I am fine with him not having it as that's up to him. But he's worried that me having the vaccine in my body could somehow make him ill if we're sharing a bed etc.

There is no such thing as 'vaccine shedding' Another lie being peddled.

MLMbotsno · 14/09/2021 23:13

@Eve81

Mine attempted to be anti vaccine but I went out armed myself with lots of evidence, wrote an email with it all in and then at the bottom of said email told him I find his uneducated, pathetic, sheepish- conspiracy behaviour off putting. I wrote an email so he could shut me down. I even included his worries in the email with evidence proving worry wrong.

He very reluctantly got both vaccines. Good luck

Well done. Send your email to all the other nutcases maybe some of them will step away from YouTube researching

NannyOggsward · 14/09/2021 23:16

@Eve81 to me that’s verging on just as bad that you debated your OH into a decision he didn’t want.

This whole thing has got horribly manipulative in the nation.

It is absolutely fine for him not to want it and absolutely fine for you to want it. What’s NOT fine is anyone dictating or trying to coerce how you make choices about your own body.

erictries · 14/09/2021 23:16

he's worried that me having the vaccine in my body could somehow make him ill if we're sharing a bed etc.

This one is actually laughable. He's showing himself up for being the idiot he is. How in god's earth can a vaccine in your body make him ill?
Fair enough of it was Covid itself you were talking about. Infectious viruses can spread easily.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/09/2021 23:22

@Ellybridge22

Hi, Just wondered if there is anyone out there unfortunate enough to have such different views on the Covid vaccine that it may end their marriage. He is so against it that he has said he'll leave me if I have it. I want to have it, but also don't want us to split as we have two young kids...

I'd throw it right back in his face. Tear a strip off him for this pathetic attempt at coercive control, and tell him that if he says one word more to me he won't have to leave because I'd be throwing him out. Your medical choices are your to make, not his.

Seriously, I would go on the offensive here because he really won't expect that. 'I'll leave you if you do X' is coercive control. Fuck that! Comply this time and you're in for a life of unreasonable demands.

LakieLady · 14/09/2021 23:22

Does he not understand the principle of your body, your choice?

I wonder what else he might not want you to do because he thinks there's something wrong with it. Pierce your ears, get a tatt, have cosmetic surgery?

A vaccine and mask refusenik I know has been ill in bed for 9 days. Her daughter had to go and stay with her father because she was too ill to look after her. She's getting better now, but feels utterly shattered and has lost her sense of taste and smell, but it wasn't Covid, oh no, just a cold ....

I'd either get the vax and not tell him, or get the vax and tell him it's none of his business.

Etinox · 14/09/2021 23:24

@Sushirolls

Not quite the same. Absolutely no way I'll ever have it, and although I don't want DH to have it, it's his choice. I can't expect him to accept my POV if I can't accept his.

As it stands, he's decided to wait until trials end in 2023 which I'm very relieved about

I do not agree with getting it behind his back and lying. I'd leave him if he did that.

Cheers for the that. Best, Society (which I expect you don’t believe in)

Saoirse82 · 14/09/2021 23:27

Aside from the controlling behaviour I don't think I could be married to anyone that thick. What sort of role model is he for your children and what shite will he believe next? These conspiracy theories are a slippery slope. I'd happily pack his bags for him!

RampantIvy · 14/09/2021 23:29

I’m feeling concerned for all the people on this thread who are not vaccinated and will undoubtedly get Covid at some point.

I'm not. They have made an informed choice and know the risks.

MyPatronusIsACat · 14/09/2021 23:31

@Ellybridge22 I don't very often say LTB, but this is a VERY good reason to.

NOT because he is against the vaccine/is a disbeliever of covid (which is bad enough,) but the fact he threatens to LEAVE you if you have the vaccine.

What a horrible, controlling, nasty, dangerous man. You AND your children will be better off away from him. He will only get worse as he gets older.

RampantIvy · 14/09/2021 23:33

He is so fearful of bad side effects

Where is the logic in this? Is he not fearful of you getting covid? Possibly dying and leaving your children without a mother? Or suffering from long covid?

toomuchlaundry · 14/09/2021 23:39

Someone thinks the OP's DH has made an informed choice when he is worried that he might get ill if he shares a bed with the OP if she has the vaccine. You think that is an informed argument

Harrymia1 · 14/09/2021 23:46

You are just as bad as her husband

Samafe · 14/09/2021 23:49

He is BVVVU.

Sydendad · 14/09/2021 23:50

@Ellybridge22

Hi, Just wondered if there is anyone out there unfortunate enough to have such different views on the Covid vaccine that it may end their marriage. He is so against it that he has said he'll leave me if I have it. I want to have it, but also don't want us to split as we have two young kids...

Where in his diluted mind does he think he should have any say over what you do with your body and health? Unfortunately my wife and I agree so I can't relate. You do what you think is best for yourself and your kids! I'm not sure he's worth keeping. Does he have a habit of imposing his will under the threat of divorce?

Eve81 · 15/09/2021 00:39

@NannyOggsward

I have a degree in biology and in nursing. I have extensively researched the ingredients of the vaccines in the U.K. and concluded that if you are scared of the vaccine (an inactive form of covid) then you should be 100 times more concerned about Covid. Of course this is a personal interpretation but I feel I am far more qualified than the Average conspiracy theorist.
I am not about to just simply let my husband, who has a degree in computer science, base his decision on a few YouTube channels and tabloid scare mongering.

I am perfectly ok to accept that in this instance I used ‘coercive control’ to encourage my husband to make a decision based on scientific evidence and the benefit of said vaccine to not only him, but our family and friends. I am his wife and I am not going to turn a blind eye and let him make a poor decision which could potentially cause his serious harm.

I will also admit that I heavily encourage anti vaccine parents to vaccinate their children after witnessing a beautiful, smart, active, social and unvaccinated 17 year old girl contract measles. She went onto become brain damaged, then left in a vegetated state for the rest of her life,being cared for by parents who now deeply regret their decision to let their unfounded fear override scientific evidence that shows the benefits of vaccinations.

LittleBearPad · 15/09/2021 00:50

I am fine with him not having it as that's up to him. But he's worried that me having the vaccine in my body could somehow make him ill if we're sharing a bed etc.

He’s an idiot.

Anordinarymum · 15/09/2021 01:11

I am sure we all have opinions on this subject. I see the threads on here and it makes me tired just reading so I avoid
My family has mixed views. i listen to them. I keep my opinons to myself.
My partners family are very odd people. They talk about Covid as if it is the only thing in their lives. It is the main topic of conversation for them and they talk about 'the rules'.
I say to form your own opinions on the subject and if you want to get immunised then do it.
Don't tell him. He does not need to know. I think this thing has dominated our lives so much that people do not know what to believe especially since we have been lied to by Boris Johnson.
Just give us the truth and the facts and let us make our own minds up.
Don't try to frighten us or bully us. we are not stupid.
But OP. Covid is perhaps just an indicator of what your husband is really like, stopping you from making a decision about your own health is pretty piss poor IMHO

Sushirolls · 15/09/2021 01:26

@DGFB I'm not concerned about it.
After working my arse off all the way through the lockdown, I have already had it and natural immunity is better than the vaccine.

@Wowthisisreal I meant if he were to lie and keep it from me, not if he had it. That would be his choice, just as not having it, is mine.

@Etinox I have no idea what you're on about 🤷🏼‍♀️

KosherDill · 15/09/2021 01:49

@Ellybridge22

Hi, Just wondered if there is anyone out there unfortunate enough to have such different views on the Covid vaccine that it may end their marriage. He is so against it that he has said he'll leave me if I have it. I want to have it, but also don't want us to split as we have two young kids...

No way would anyone dictate to me about health matters.

Etinox · 15/09/2021 01:52

I’d have edited if I could.
I meant to say, “yeah, thanks for that”
Regarding your insane decision not only not to be vaccinated but your coercive control and bullying of your partner. Do you know what asymptomatic transmission means?
Twat.

Fatya · 15/09/2021 01:56

To be honest I think it would regrettably be a marriage-ender for me if my DP refused the vaccine.

In these circumstances I wouldn't have to think twice.

LiamGallagherIsHot · 15/09/2021 02:00

To be honest I think it would regrettably be a marriage-ender for me if my DP refused the vaccine.

That’s quite sad I think. Can’t you just make a different choice from each other and accept that. I can’t imagine being in a relationship where that wasn’t the case. Maybe me and my partner are just laid back, it’s just not an issue.

Sushirolls · 15/09/2021 02:04

@Etinox

I’d have edited if I could. I meant to say, “yeah, thanks for that” Regarding your insane decision not only not to be vaccinated but your coercive control and bullying of your partner. Do you know what asymptomatic transmission means? Twat.

My coercive control and bullying of my partner?! (I actually have DH, not a partner).

How am I being coercive and bullying? We both respect each others decision on whether to have it, or not. I'm not sure what you're on about.

MareofBeasttown · 15/09/2021 02:15

Would find it hard to respect or stay married to someone so stupid that they think vaccinated people "shed". He can be stupid in his own time.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6