A couple of years ago I decided to take a step back from my in-laws. Since I met them 28 years ago they, well MIL mostly and they do what she says, have been very rude and unkind to me. My MIL has constantly told me I am not part of the family, despite being the mother of her only DGC, and has gone out of her way to openly put me down in front of others. She once told me that it doesn't matter what I do, say, or look like because I am nothing to do with her or her family and it won't reflect on her, as everyone knows I am a nobody. One of the reasons why she does this is because she seems to see me as a serious threat to her and her DD's for some reason, which I really don't get.
Luckily I have a wonderful, loving and confidence boosting family of my own so I have not had to revert to counselling as a result 
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After quite a few years of this and trying to get her onside, she'll like me when she gets to know me, etc. I gave up. I have taken small steps back over the years, but about 2 years ago I just decided that I can't be arsed with this anyone and I took league boots steps back. So now I facilitate nothing, I refuse to cancel what I am doing if they want to meet up, I don't buy them presents, I don't do their cards and I no longer facilitate meet-ups or days out or phone calls. I am not rude or nasty, I just resigned from the wifey work. After all, I am not family and I am crap at everything, right?
The AIBU is that my DH does nothing. He doesn't buy cards, presents, etc. He waits for me to arrange Sunday lunches and I don't. He waits for me to offer to host Christmas and Easter etc. and I don't. As a result, we have not seen his sisters for 18 months. That is fine by me, but there is fallout from it. MIL is not happy she rarely sees us gets the opportunity to lay into me, upset if she doesn't get a card and last Christmas she was really upset because I usually buy really thoughtful Christmas presents and do a stocking for everyone, but she asked for some towels and that is what she got, some towels in a plastic bag.
So, AIBU to think that my DH is really lazy when it comes to his family and it is not my problem. I know I shouldn't give a shit, but I am pretty sure that "it's all my fault" and they are blaming me and for some strange reason I feel guilty for treating someone like this. However, I was a nice DIL and SIL and they just threw it back in my face.
FYI my DH also does NOTHING for my family. In fact, I think he may recognise my mum and dad if they walked past him in the street, but they wouldn't recognise anyone else. He hasn't seen my brother, who lives 15 miles away from us, for 5 years.