‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Hadn’t thought of that one yet but definitely true. I hate feeling like an intruder and being careful to follow rules and not be a nuisance whilst not having privacy.

Oh just thought! Being cooked for. I'm of a suspicious nature and get quite stressed that people have washed hands, haven't chopped veg on the chickeny chopping board with the chickeny knife or that they're going to appear with something I dislike and I'm going to have to be very diplomatic.
I've had cake that was hard and flat and "Oh I didn't have any sugar so its not sweet" Not cake then.
I've had watery stews that "my family rave about" Yeah behind your back
I've had ready meals that I noticed in the fridge and could swear they were out of date.
I find most other peoples food stressful.

Excellent one meringue.

@FangsForTheMemory

You drink a Martini for the effect. A proper Martini is mostly vodka.

A really proper martini is mostly gin.

Birthday surprises. I absolutely hate being surprised with some else's idea of what I'd LOVE. It usually turns out to be something I'd hate, that the giver loves. Just no!

And I too HATE being a house guest unless it's close family or friend that I feel totally comfortable to be myself around. I also hate it when being a houseguests means being given jobs to do while I'm there.

London

Being a houseguest even of your nearest and dearest is awful.

Dsis moved into a new flat and informed me that there was a building rule of no flushing the loo between 10pm and 7am. Well, if anything is guaranteed to bring on an attack of rampant diarrhoea…

In addition the bathroom door was literally right by the arm of the sofa. There was no way on earth you could go to the loo without blasting the taps, pre-flushing the toilet and then trying to lift the loo roll holder off the wall to deaden the unravelling noise.

@Darlingx I'm jealous!

Hi OP, congratulations!

My friend ended up getting a lady to come to the house - she diagnosed tongue tie and snipped it there and then. If it would be helpful, I can get the details and PM you?

I am going to add - having a visitor do the washing up. They put nice pans and sharp knives in the dishwasher and don’t know where anything goes. It’s “helpy” but not actually helpful.

New Years Eve - Fucking mega when single, awful when married with children. I was so glad BJ announced lockdown over Xmas and NYE as this meant my pisshead neighbours wouldn’t be singing and yawping till birdsong on Jan 1. Yes, I’m miserable btw, just grown up now…

Happy Friday people!

Also hate NYE. Brings up a lot of anxiety for some reason and can't even pretend it isn't happening due to the endless fireworks going off.

It’s probably because your meant to be having so much fun @miamarshmallows Pressure to not be boring and all that.

Charity Balls, or really anything billed as a 'Ball'. Stupidly expensive tickets, for an event that starts far too early so the whole afternoon is taken up by getting ready. Trussed up like a chicken in shoes you can barely walk in.
Dreadful mass catered lukewarm food accompanied by too much small talk and too little wine. Tiny dance floor and a husband who hates dancing in my case. Pressurised to spend yet more money once there on bad photographs, auctions, silent auctions, 'heads and tails' and other stupid games, and because 'it's all for a good cause' feeling obligated to join in and splash the cash when really all you want to do is go home!
I've put my foot down and said never again after the last one!

Steak 🤢

@allfurcoatnoknickers

Hot chocolate. I always want it to be like a cup of melted chocolate bars and only about 3 places in the world make it like that

@allfurcoatnoknickers - I know exactly what you mean - UK hot chocolate is far too watery. I have found Carluccios's Hot Choc has the texture of melted chocolate bars. When they were shut over lockdown, I did some research and what you're probably after is Italian or Spanish hot chocolate mixes which contain additional starch to the cocoa powder so that you get a rich, thick hot chocolate. It tastes even better is you leave off the squirty cream (yuck) and marshmallows and add a slug of your favourite liquer - I favour Amaretto.

@allfurcoatnoknickers
Best to make your own hot chocolate. Several squares of good plain chocolate in a mug. Add milk. Microwave and stir well. Add vanilla essence. Job done.

[quote wantanotherdog]@allfurcoatnoknickers
Best to make your own hot chocolate. Several squares of good plain chocolate in a mug. Add milk. Microwave and stir well. Add vanilla essence. Job done.[/quote]
I don't like it enough to actually make it myself .

@1stWorldProblems Spanish with churros great. I used to love the hot chocolate at City Bakery in NYC but they closed down. Venchi is pretty good too - I think they're Italian. But mostly it's just watery shit that tastes of nothing.

@yknaps

Steak 🤢

Yes!!!

@allfurcoatnoknickers

Hot chocolate. I always want it to be like a cup of melted chocolate bars and only about 3 places in the world make it like that

One of those would be a chain called Max Brenner in NSW, Australia. Not only is their hot chocolate pretty much liquid chocolate a la chocolate river in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but you can choose whether you have dark, milk or white chocolate. It's AMAZING.

Ooh, churros deserve their own entry on here. Greasy and vile 🤢

Oh god yes, churros are disgusting.

Jam donuts.
They should be gorgeously fluffy and soft with oozing smooth jam the centre.
Instead they are nearly always dry on the outside with slimy dough on the inside surrounding the jam.
Ring donuts are good thankfully!

Paris - overrated, overpriced
Denim - never keeps you warm

DesdamonasHandkerchief

Good one!
I haven’t been to one since the early 90’s for exactly those reasons. Are they still a thing?
Shame about ball gowns going out of fashion. They could hide a multitude of sins if you chose wisely. The cocktail dress is much less forgiving.