‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Staffy1

With you on going to the hairdressers . The small talk and now you can’t bury your head in a magazine. Magazines are banned so it’s download a QR code and scan . I always get someone who wants to tell me their relationship problems or about a recent death in the family ( his gran died during lockdown very sad) so its hardly smalltalk.
Last Salon I went to they gave me a full head massage in front of all the busy packed salon as a ruse to hide that they are running half an hour late.
It’s literally the least relaxing experience because I had more roots than a tree and felt a right mess .
The stylist was laughing and joking with colleagues whilst pressing foils into my head and had to put down my hair to upsell me conditioning treatments that did nothing to change the structure of my hair after a wash but cost over £60
Getting an appointment at the time was really hard so I booked the next one and they charge you a £30 cancellation fee and I have no alternative hairdresser but I need to cancel as I am dreading going .

Woke at 2am for a wee. Found this thread. It's now gone 4am!! :-0
I agree. With all of you. Except for the beach.. love beaches on lovely days, I revert back to being five & jumping over waves.
A few posts especially jumped out at me.. @Katyy friends phoning.. why? What's wrong with a FB msg? One kept me on the phone for FOUR HOURS that I'll never get back.. my sister had to ring my other phone to save me.
Coffee mornings at kids' places when mine were tiny.. I did ONE. The other mums discussed baby vests. I wanted to talk books, politics, ANYTHING but babies..
Little dogs.. what are they FOR? They yap and yap and yap and owners never train them - give me a big dog with one deep WOOOF!

I grew my hair so it just needs a trim on the ends so I don't have to 'do' hairdressers.
Coffee out with friends (on our own, now the kids are grown) why? Just msg me..
Yep, BBQ's, Christenings, hen parties, weddings, massages, hot tubs etc.. shopping with anyone else.. Christmas - loved PP's idea of just a church service, walk / swim.. I don't do cinemas, clubs, London shows etc.. I thought it was just me who's unimpressed with flowers / houseplants (Christmas presents?)
Just read back through this, I sound a real misery! I'm not, am just happier with my own company and a lovely walk through woods, dangling my feet in a stream.. :-)

Pippapet

My friend gave me a homemade jam from her allotment fruit. Opened the jar at breakfast it was topped in green mould. It was part of a birthday gift! You have to laugh because I can’t say anything and the homemade soaps all fell to pieces. It’s very much the intensive labour and thought that counts .

crummyusername

People keep giving me fancy body creams I have stacks of them. I never use them because when can you moisturise your body and not get dressed or into bed . It must be just me but I can’t be bothered and anyway my boyfriend complemented me on my soft skin only the other day haven’t used the creams

Beeinalily

I agree I have a cocktail as a dessert sometimes. I get to sit at the bar and have something boozy, creamy and iced served by a very flirty handsome chap in evening dress . He kept giving me the leftover cocktail from the shaker and it was basically liquid pistashio ice cream with booze in it. It was for me the perfect end to an evening out.

Spending the day at the beach.

House plants

My DH's meals for 'special' occasions. Tends to be salty chewy risotto

Scones. . It’s like they should be nice but actually they are usually flavourless and tough. Their saving grace really is the clotted cream and jam which Is like the consolation for eating salting paper mache’

Thanks for all the good wishes!

On the back of no sleep I’ll say breastfeeding 😅 imagined dreamily gazing into my newborn’s eyes as he suckled away peacefully at two-hour intervals, not rootling around for my battered nipple constantly like a truffle pig and looking furiously at me if i take more than thirty seconds to produce the goods

Early morning sex. Nope, I'd rather sleep thanks.
After 20 years, DP has finally realised I need a cup of coffee and at least half an hour to wake up before I want any kind of human contact!

@HappyAsASandboy

Going to the beach with young kids!

Yes this! We only went once this summer. The baby was trying to eat every tiny stone or shell he could find. The snacks ended up covered in sand so were crunchy 🤢🤢 definitely more stress than it was worth this year!

Oh snap @dinosaurpantz just can't do them feel 100 times worse, same if DH does the getting up /running errands to give me a lie in but there is that much noise from him getting up that I'm awake so bang goes the lie in as I cant just go back to sleep unlike DH who wakes up turns over and snores happily away while I do the running around. Only time I get a lie in is if he is and the kids just sort themselves out (ie mong in front of TV or playstation)
Another is bloody football matches for DS who the he'll thinks FT parents want to be up arse crack of dawn on their day off to get them to an 830am kick off to stand in the rain cheering when it should be illegal to see that time on your day off? Love watching him and support but come on please let me at least get 1/2an hour more than a workday 🙄

Baby showers

Picnics - hate them.

Parties - I like the dressing up but I would happily leave after an hour.

Zoom quizzes

The head massage thing is funny, as I totally get why people hate it, I once had one at a posh salon where someone skilled actually massaged pressure points and knots in my neck and it was amazing. I thought :”aha, this is what it’s meant to be like!”

Same for Caesar Salad, once you have had a proper one (restaurant makes it’s own dressing, with egg yolk and anchovies, fresh Parmesan, home made garlicky croutons , you think “this is an amazing dish!” . The next 20 years you go looking for that same salad, only to be disappointed every time with watery lettuce, stale croutons and bottled dressing

IMO a good head massage, and a good Ceasar salad are sublime. But rarely do you get this…

@Diversion

Somebody else at work brewing up. Often their version of a cup of tea is not mine. Luke warm, too much milk, sugar when I don't take any. Much easier if I just play tea girl and make a decent brew for everyone and myself.

A woman that I used to work with always complained that when I made her tea it was too weak. I did try to make it strong but it was still too weak. So one day I used two teabags and really mashed it around with a spoon and let it brew for ages. Honestly I have never seen a cup of tea that looked like it, it was that strong. I thought it would teach her a lesson because it would be undrinkable because it was so strong. But she took a sip and said "Oh BANS, that's a lovely cup of tea".

Themed parties and events. A lot of faff and expense on an outfit to look like everyone else at the event (which you will most likely never wear again) which more often than not become super competitive.

Baths.
I tried to do a romantic relaxation in the bath to read magazines, only the magazine got wet in a seconds as my hands were wet, could not turn pages, was too hot and bored in 5 mins.
All the water wasted. And a bathbomb too.

Driving.
Before I had my driving licence I always thought that driving is cool but it’s not.
It’s all about to look out and avoiding idiots, so they don’t crash into me and keep predicting if their turning lights are actually correctly on.

Drivers giving way to you, when they have right of way really. Sometimes a driver will stop to let you in, even though he's the the only car in the street. If he'd just gone past, you could have easily pulled out anyway.

@Samafe

Going to the Restaurant with a toddler

No one thinks this is a nice thing though?

Afternoon tea with stale sandwiches and tiny cakes. A bit of a letdown.

@Jeepchangingmyhame

Driving. Before I had my driving licence I always thought that driving is cool but it’s not. It’s all about to look out and avoiding idiots, so they don’t crash into me and keep predicting if their turning lights are actually correctly on.

What are these turning lights you speak of? My car has something called indicators but I don't use them unless I have to.

Sitting in the garden to work from home.

When I started WFH I thought: I've got a laptop, I've got wi-fi, I'll be able to work sitting among the trees, birdsong, etc - how idyllic!

In fact it was all papers blowing away, sun in my eyes, leaves in my coffee, wasps... I gave up after 1/2 hour and came indoors!

Christmas between C. Eve and NYD.

Too many social expectations and (often) too much work for women. Not exactly a rest.

Same goes for self-catering holidays.

New Year's Eve. Always felt like I should be doing something exciting, when the reality was that everywhere was packed and there were no taxis. Now we have children we just have a nice family night with a film and party food.