‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Carvery restaurants-I gave up queuing for my dinner when I left school.

Agree with everyone about Xmas markets. Has anyone else experienced the horror that is after-work drinks at the Xmas market? Like shopping at the Xmas market, it always seemed like a lovely thing to do but the reality was queueing for 20 mins to pay £££ for a luke warm plastic beaker of mulled wine. Then trying to drink it standing with barely enough room to raise your arm, completely unable to have any form of conversation due to the competing Xmas music from various stalls and the general noise of hundreds of other people also trying to shout over the noise of everyone else. On, and all in work-wear and whilst attempting to avoid having the contents of someone else's street food spilled on you.

Any craft fairs really ime.
I love to look at the things people make some are quite amazing but I never need to buy anything, except maybe some cheese and a bit of chocolate, but framed scenic photos, wood turned bowls, quirky knitted xmas tree decs/ pot holder/brooch, paintings of birds - I just don't need them and leave feeling guilty for not buying their lovely stuff.

Oh this thread is making me laugh.

Years ago I arrived home after a stressful day in work ready to grab my runners and get out pounding the pavement. I opened the door to some soothing music, the sound of bath water running, smelly candles etc and my then boyfriend indicating for me to not say anything as he helped me with my coat and bag and ushered me toward the bathroom.

I mean yes it is so prescriptively thoughtful and romantic but... I HATE BATHS.

@WheelieBinPrincess

Thanks for all these I’m not sure there’s one I don’t agree with yet 😂

I started this thread yesterday to kill time while was waiting to go down for my c-section so I’m really enjoying catching up now

What?! Is the baby here?

These are great - but we want to know about BabyWheelieBin! You kept that one quiet!

@TourneeDuChatNoir

Cat cafes. I went to one in London and it was £30 to have a mediocre afternoon tea and be ignored by some cats. I could have done that for free at my parents' house.

This made me laugh out loud (which is quite rare )

Holding other people's babies. I feel like I'm meant to be all cooey and gushy but all I want to do is hand it straight back!

Agree with the Dogs are Awful posts but even worse are the owners who say stupid things
"Ah! see he understands everything I say" No! your IQ is even lower than your stupid dog's.

(Obviously your baby is lovely @WheelieBinPrincess 😬😁. Congratulations by the way!)

Just want to chime in with agreement on massages but an angle I haven't seen mentioned is how horrific they are if you're ticklish.

The last one I tried I had to concentrate desperately hard on not wriggling, while being told off for wriggling because I had to be STILL to RELAX, while also being bored out of my skull. A suboptimal combination of feelings.

Baths
Weddings
Spa days/massages/facials
Ladies (or any) days at horse racing events
Hot tubs
Designated ‘celebration’ days, eg Valentines or Mothers Day
Hen-parties, especially those with obligatory ‘risqué’ named t-shirts and sashes
Air travel

Fire pits.

Spend a while gussying yourself up to go to a friends house

"come into the garden, we've lit the fire pit!"

Evening spent alternately roasting shins or freezing cold with streaming eyes.

Get home at midnight and have to have another shower and hair wash to get the fucking awful stink of smoke out of everything.

It can't just be me, can it?

Also: Festivals.

@Honeymare

Oh this thread is making me laugh.

Years ago I arrived home after a stressful day in work ready to grab my runners and get out pounding the pavement. I opened the door to some soothing music, the sound of bath water running, smelly candles etc and my then boyfriend indicating for me to not say anything as he helped me with my coat and bag and ushered me toward the bathroom.

I mean yes it is so prescriptively thoughtful and romantic but... I HATE BATHS.

🤣🤣🤣

@WheelieBinPrincess

Thanks for all these I’m not sure there’s one I don’t agree with yet 😂

I started this thread yesterday to kill time while was waiting to go down for my c-section so I’m really enjoying catching up now

Congratulations on your new arrival!

I don’t really like presents (unless they are things I have chosen myself).

Other people's children

Working from home (full time)

Couch 2 5k

Group fitness classes

Don't agree with baths and massages
Much prefer to give a present than to receive one

Manicures
Pedicures
Any “beauty treatments” really.

Why would I want to pay to subject a stranger to guddling about in my more revolting/personal parts??? And why would that be “a treat” ??

Macarons, they look so pretty and tempting but taste of almond dust.

Also:
-Tapas (fraught & stressful knowing how many to order, how to accommodate the other peoples varying preferences for eyeballs alongside vegetarianism etc, also embarrassing if there’s an odd number of croquettes/prawns)
-Cocktails (bullshit overpriced fruit juice in wanky glasses)

• Weddings (expensive, boring, stressful)
• Hen-do’s (ditto)
• Full-body massages (not relaxing having a strangers fingers on my inner thighs thanks)
• “Meeting for a coffee” (£2.50 for a teabag whilst being deafened by the slamming of a metal coffee machine)
• Shopping spree (pounding music, ludicrous fashions, realising I’m officially old)
• “Girlie nights in” (boring, bland, rather be on my own watching something dark thanks)
• Going on holiday with kids (not a holiday; just same grind different location).

“Nice new handbag” (what’s nice about having something hanging off your shoulder wonkily, or being touted around in the crook of your elbow?).

Ohhh no I absolutely love a nice, new handbag!! They make me very happy indeed.

I’ve got my collection lovingly displayed on shelves in my wardrobe and I get the warm happy fuzzies when I look at them, and also when I carry them. 🥰🥰🥰

But it’d be a very boring world if we all found pleasure in exactly the same things.

@fuzzymoomin - you're very welcome. :)

@WheelieBinPrincess - congratulations on your new arrival then!

@gannett - speaking as a massage therapist, if you're ticklish in odd places while being massaged (I mean, not the usual tickle spots), that usually means those areas are really in need of relaxation, more than if they were just sore. It's not fun though, I know! But if you feel the need to have something done about it, go for a therapeutic massage, not a relaxation massage - world of difference!

Visitors

@DinosaurPantz

I so agree about naps. I always wake up after one in a really bad mood, feeling angry with myself and everyone else, a blinding headache and looking like s**t 😬