‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

why on Earth would I enjoy sitting in a damp, dark and unreasonably hot room filled with other naked people pretending to enjoy themselves
If your sauna is damp you've been in a bad one!

I like them. Heaven on earth after a tough Zumba or astanga session. Even better was the one at a cottage I rented in Sweden years ago – when you got too hot you just stepped out and ran into the lake. Bliss.

Picnics with the kids. In theory is always sounds like such a lovely idea... Not so much in practice.

Disney
Cadbury’s
Hot tubs
Brioche

Oh thanks, I've got to pay £11 for a vodka and tomato juice in a wanky glass, because your bar staff dress like Tommy Shelby and chuck a cocktail shaker about for 30 seconds

@BlameItOnTheBlackStar 30 seconds? I was dragged to a cocktail bar for drinks before dinner on a works night out with the Manchester office. Everyone raved about this place. There were ten of us and we had to leave before everyone got a drink because they were taking forever faffing about making these fancy cocktails. Half an hour and they had only served half of us. I just wanted an orange juice!

@Dozer

Most weddings!

THIS! Mainly a lot of standing about and being hungry in shoes that pinch and uncomfortable shapewear. Or, at least, that was what weddings were in my younger years. Now, I only go to weddings where I know there will be a lot of sitting down, plenty of food and I wear linen in the summer and wool in the winter - neither of which require shapewear.

Oh, and flat shoes.

I hate any one else's coffee. And en-suites. Especially when you've gotta husband who stinks the whole bedroom out if he uses it

Parties, baths, most concerts/festivals , school performances,facials, weddings. I could go on ....

@Speakeasy22

Pimms - just sickly sweet. You feel you have to have one at Wimbledon, it costs about £12 and is anything but refreshing.

Not to mention the bits. Drinks shouldn't need chewing or sifting through your teeth IMO

@EatYourVegetables

Hate weddings and all who sail in them. Awful one-upmanship between women competing to see how fast they can get handed into chattelry.
But its OK because you're wearing a lovely frock and the wedding breakfast was at [swanky venue].

Properly made coffee in a good cafe is a little joy
This is my mantra for a happy life!

Saunas are ace, as are massages with a good practitioner, skiing and baths.

Showers though - meh - way too much work, and there’s always a bit of you that’s cold.

I agree with many here but I love some of the things people have listed.

I love Christmas markets as long as they're in other countries. Christmas markets here feel so fake and forced as if everyone is trying to pretend it's a British tradition but I swear they just sprung up here in the last twenty years.

I also hate getting flowers, too much fuss to set them up in a vase, or if they come in a vase it's always some cheap looking tack that will get tossed as soon as the flowers do.

I love hot baths and I also love spa days and massages BUT not couples massages, I've had them twice and it's IMPOSSIBLE to relax.

Gifts of jewellery, I must be very picky because I never like what was bought for me.

Valentines Day. As my DH says, it's a day you can't win, you can only lose. If you go all out it feels contrived (because it is!) and if you do nothing or if you're single, you lose. So basically Valentines day is a day designed to make you feel bad about yourself or forced into insincere demonstrations of romance.

Staying with my family or my inlaws. I hate the loss of independence, you're on other people's schedules everyday and get real no privacy or down time (unless I sneak off to the bedroom for a "nap" which makes me feel like a sulky teenager.) My DH and I always go straight to the airport bar to toast our freedom at the end of family visit!

I swear I'm actually a happy, easy going person in RL!

@silverbubbles

work do's

I was thinking this too, or any “do” after a service or event. The horror of making small talk with people you have nothing in common with. As an introvert doing this last week, it took me all next day to recover

I love this thread and far from finding it miserable, it’s the opposite 😁

I love a bath, and beaches, and I quite like breakfast in bed.

However, I loathe:

• music festivals
• live music in general
• most restaurants and take aways (I very rarely find one that serves better food than I make myself)

Swimming.

Actual swimming I do not mind. Trying to pull on your clothes over your still damp body whilst avoiding standing in the suspicious pools of water is not worth the actual swim.

Hen parties are another thing I refuse to go to. It's not like you will never go out with your friends again once you are married and if that is the case then you are marrying the wrong person. Same goes for stag parties and men.

Parties.
Alcohol.
Advent calendars.
Monthly beauty boxes.

I agree with so many of these

Lobster
Caviar
Christmas Market
Any other kind of market
BBQs most of the time
Big Easy Restaurant
Going to the beach, though admittedly I did have a very successful day out with DS at the beach during the holidays.
Great Yarmouth

Massages. The only time I enjoy them is when they're foreplay, otherwise I just can't relax having some stranger rub oil all over me.

Eating outdoors. I love being outdoors, and I love eating, but getting a mouthful of wind-blown hair alongside my food becomes tiresome very quickly. Then there are the insects that try and join you, and I even had a bird crap in my meal as it flew over! A cup of tea on my patio is about my limit.

Baths. I love them for a few moments but then I get bored, even with music on. Plus I feel guilty about the amount of water used, which means I can't relax. I tried a Jacuzzi once but the noise of the pump was so irritating that it wasn't fun either. Hot tubs are the same, but even worse when they're shared with others as it feels uncomfortably intimate. Not so bad when it's a lover but so awkward when it's not.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad

"Saturday Lie ins (bare with me!)"

The joy of this unintentional mistake!
You've just invited the whole of MN to have a naked saturday lie in with you - love it!

I thought that too! Made me chuckle.

Board game with the kids.

Or should I say Bored Game.

No, sometimes it can be fun, but often boring!

Lobster and caviar are great. Steak however is like eating someone’s arm.

Xmas work do’s and hen do’s. Usually drama filled nightmares

for sure any eating outside usually the weather is too hot or windy etc bugs flying about smells nope too much hassle
holidays all that money and fuss over travelling is it ever worth it

I agree baths. Any possible relaxation is offset by the knowledge that as soon as it's over you will have to work up a sweat cleaning the damn thing.

Also eating steaks in a restaurant. They cost an absolute fortune and aren't cooked as well as I can do them at home (charred crust on the outside, then blue for my DDs, rare for me and DH, medium for my parents). Then you have to pay £2.50 for a thimbleful of béarnaise or peppercorn sauce when I can knock up a pint jug for buttons at home. I have friends coming over tomorrow and will do tomahawk steaks for 5 with sauces and sides for the cost of one main course in our local steakhouse.