‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Cocktails. Paying an extortionate amount of money for something that tends to taste either extremely sweet or ‘botanical’ 🤢 which was ‘crafted’ by a wanky mixologist. Usually lasts all of three sips before you reach an iceberg of ice and some leaves. You then keep trying to drink the ice water for a few minutes hoping some infused juice comes through, followed by a heavy feeling you’ve been robbed and realising you’ll need to buy another drink so you don’t look tight.

Beach holidays. So boring. I much prefer visiting museums, galleries, interesting ruins, markets, etc.

Massages. I went with colleagues for leg and foot massages. It just hurt.

Evenings out. Expensive and I always want to go home and to bed by about 10 o'clock.

Theatre. Again very expensive, with uncomfortable seats. I usually end up sitting either behind someone tall or in front if someone who won't shut up. Have to queue for drinks or the loo all the way through the interval and spend time and money to travel into a city and park. Although I usually enjoy the actual play it's just not worth it.

Agree about shower sex. Only ever fun for the man
Duvet days: by 1pm I feel antsy and bored
Weddings: paying through the nose to indulge someone else's narcissistic tendencies

I hate board games.
Dd loves them and I know that I should be grateful she wants to play them with her parents rather than be on screens.
But it takes a lot of wine to dull the pain of them.

herbal tea - the aroma is lovely but the taste never is

So many of these things - breakfast in bed particularly, especially when it’s earlier than you actually wanted to wake up! And when you don’t actually like to eat immediately.

Eating outside - totally if you are the host or a parent/ someone who has to do all the toing and froing.

Beaches @HappyAsASandboy the key to this is a pebble beach such as Brighton - but not actually Brighton, somewhere nearby like Rottingdean

Totally with you on the breakfast in bed

Picnics with children
Play dates at home with other children
Board games with young children
Children's birthday parties

I do actually like children, but some things are not fun with them!

Other things that some most seem to enjoy are:
After work drinks with colleagues
Work Christmas party
Sunday roasts are a nice idea but always take ages and are finished in minutes.

The scalp massages when getting a hair wash at a hairdressers. Sounds lovely, but I find it so uncomfortable sitting with my upper body bent backwards and having someone rub my scalp. I just wish they would wash my hair quickly and skip the massage. Often this is accompanied by some awkward conversation "doing anything nice this weekend?"

Chocolate.
Fish and chips.
Computer games.

@ThumbWitchesAbroad OI OI !!

You’re all welcome but you’ll have to at least put the kettle on first

Holidays. I love my home and I've worked for a long time making it beautiful over the years. Nowhere I've stayed is as nice/comfortable as my own home! Plus I get tired of eating out constantly when away.

Saunas. I mean I barely even enjoy summer heat, why on Earth would I enjoy sitting in a damp, dark and unreasonably hot room filled with other naked people pretending to enjoy themselves?

Pimms - just sickly sweet. You feel you have to have one at Wimbledon, it costs about £12 and is anything but refreshing.

I love this thread ! Agree with almost all of it.

I can't stand BBQs. Men acting all macho burning sausages, that smell of firelighters mixed with meat, half cooked or incinerated food served on pitiful limp paper plates you have to balance on your knee on wobbly emergency seating on uneven grass. Having to talk to random people you hardly know. The only way to deal with BBQs is to discretely chuck the food in a bin bag and drink alcohol.

Weddings - new outfit/travelexpenses/overnight expenses/gifts etc

Same for hens/baby showers

Family christmas/cooking/cleaning/organizing/expense/whinging kids underfoot

Holidays with another person who does not have the same interests and is not confident enough to go off on their own.

I love massages but only by a proper decent massage therapist. Hate these wishy washy ones that you get on a hotel spa break "deal"
Concerts. I always get bored and want to leave before it is even over. I used to enjoy them though. Maybe it is an age thing.

I haven't rtft but have come on to defend baths! I have always loved a bath to relax, especially with epsom salts after a run to ease the legs. It's the only peace I get too.

But I am on board with many of the others such as breakfast in bed (not an issue for me anyway as a single parent!), beauty treatments in general and especially staying in PJ's all day. The only time I have ever done that is when I have been to ill to change but even then I try and drag myself to the bath and generally feel better after that a change of clothes.

Swimming. So lovely when you are in the water, horrible, sticky, hard to get dressed when you are out, treading on a towel trying to get your feet dry enough to get back in your shoes.

Holidays are generally great in my head and then really disappointing in real life.

Any Christmas dinner on the lead up to Christmas in a restaurant. Usually billed as having "All the trimmings" it will consist of one or two bits of roasted potato, a frozen stuffing ball, a piece of carrot and the world's tiniest pudding. A bit of turkey will be hiding under the previously frozen Yorkie.

In fact, puddings! Always described so beautifully, always so utterly small.

I totally agree on gifts being awful most of the time. I buy whatever I want/need. I hate being surprised by random stuff.

Oh, baby showers. Sorry but they make me cringe and I would never go to one. Hey, come and buy me presents for a baby I haven't had yet and then buy me more when I do have it. I had a very premature baby and know people who had stillbirths so I just don't think you should celebrate as such until baby is here safely.

Hot tubs

Yes to weddings. They cost a bloody fortune and three couples of the five weddings I went to over the last four years have split up.
I want my money back.

YABU for massages and baths. I love both of them.

Picnics in the countryside are shite. You have to spend ages tramping about to find a nice spot not dog or cow poo spattered. You have to endure ants, wasps and peeing behind a bush. Plus you have to carry everything.
Actually you can add camping too.

@thepeopleversuswork Weddings: paying through the nose to indulge someone else's narcissistic tendencies

YES!! Thank you!! The amount of comments along the line of "but it's MY wedding day" and "oh but it's important to spend £1K to attend" and "either you attend or we are done nevermind that you are in labour", along with the "do you think X and Y (who have been together for 10 years, own a house and have two children and a dog) will ever get as serious as Z and W (who have been dating for 9mo, got engaged 6 mo ago, and threw a huge, expensive, narcissistic party to declare it to the world)" makes me . Thank you for giving me a one liner to explain my feelings

Oh I have another one.

I HATE HEN PARTIES. I hate all that fake fun and contrived jovial shite. Plastic penis straws and forced hilarity.