‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Saturday Lie ins (bare with me!)

Look forward to it all week. Wake up earlier than normal, try to go back to sleep but now have a headache and on phone. No one is getting up to get me a cup of tea. I can hear the dogs crying to go out. NOONE is hearing this apart from me. My head is starting to hurt more and I’m sweaty hot with chilly feet. I stomp downstairs to get my own brew. Everyone appears and wants one. Then the pressure starts to build on what to do with my day off. Can’t wait till Monday and routine.

alcohol- tastes yucky and i get drunk really fast

@DinosaurPantz

Naps.

I can’t be the only one who wakes up hot, dry mouth, headache feeling worse and more tired than I did before I dropped off. Doesn’t matter if I nap for 10 mins, 30 mins or an hour. Sounds nice, but you wake up wishing you had just rode the day out.

@dinosaurPantz

I’ve found the key is not setting an alarm and having no expectations of duration. I’ve discovered I naturally wake refreshed after 3 hours. If I try time it for 10 mins, 30 mins an hour etc I wake feeling like death.

Of course, 3 hours is a pretty big chunk of a weekend day.

@PrincessNutella

Driving gloves.

Ah, now, I partly agree with you. But in the winter in the UK I used to have to wear gloves to drive because my fingers would go numb - and they have to have leather palms at least (mine were all leather) so my hands didn't slip on the wheel.

I will raise you sheepskin glove/mitts though.

Have now realised what a little sunbeam I am. I like

Walking - with or without family
Baths
Being given flowers
Asparagus
Cooking and Baking - including new recipes
Gifts of jam
Fruit tea
Beaches - more rockpooling/exploring than sunbathing.
Having 'Happy Birthday' sung to me or singing it.
Hotels
Iyengar Yoga
A well-made cappucino
Seafood.

"Saturday Lie ins (bare with me!)"

The joy of this unintentional mistake!
You've just invited the whole of MN to have a naked saturday lie in with you - love it!

@WheelieBinPrincess

I’ll add baths- I get hot and bothered and want to haul myself out, but feel guilty about all the water so miserably force myself to sit there with a face mask on until the acceptable point where I think it’s ok to waste all the water down the plug hole.

and bath bombs.

What's the point? just expensive water and I feel guilty about the money litrally going down the drain.

Coffee shops drinks-I don’t drink coffee but I’ll have a hot chocolate/iced chocolate/ lemonade. They’re never any good and you can make better at home. Waste of £4

Cakes in bakeries/cafes. They look amazing but they always taste dry and horrible. Again way over priced ! Coffe shops drinks-I don’t drink coffee but I’ll have a hot chocolate/iced chocolate/ lemonade. They’re never any good and you can make better at home. Waste of £4

Cakes in bakeries/cafes. They look amazing but they always taste dry and horrible. Again way over priced !

Mocktail- overpriced, mostly watered down juice with so much ice

Christmas.- there’s always so much build up. In reality shit presents, spend all day cooking, everything seems last minute and a rush.

Going on holiday- depending on the holiday. You’re having to get up super early in the morning so you don’t miss breakfast. Then spend the whole day on your feet. Exhausting every day that when you come back from holiday you need a break from that holiday!

Prosecco. Looks nice. Doesn't taste nice.

Perfumes received as a gift

Hand made and/or not practical gifts - what am I going to do with these? Sell them (yes I know I'm bad ) or give them to charity. But what am I going to do when the peron asks me where did I put it/ do I still use it?

Skiing and having to take kids to have fun in snow. I think it is actually much worse than thing them to the beach.

Christmas dinner which you are hosting, running around like a headless chicken (or turkey), never enough time for you to get yourself ready and by the time everything is ready you are just shattered

@IrisLilyRose

Little kids love the beach though. You have to do it.

That's the thing though. Like Family walks / board games / Christmas get togethers. Or Weddings. Houseguests. Breakfast in Bed on Mother's Day. Thinks you know you should enjoy so feel guilty if you don't. Or Cocktails. Or Fancy Afternoon Tea. Or Massages. Or Holidays. Things that cost lots, so you feel aggrieved if you don't enjoy.

It's all about feeling you 'should' and then feeling guilty / annoyed.

Stilesandlydia, IME while the coffee in cafes is better than I can make at home, the other drinks not so much, it's true.

Meeting up for coffee.
I find it boring. And after about half an hour I start fidgeting, thinking about all the things I should be doing, so I get jittery and anxious as well as bored.

Which brings me round to... small talk. Give me strength.

Bourbon biscuits
Don't diss my favourite biscuit

@BlameItOnTheBlackStar

Cocktails.

Oh thanks, I've got to pay £11 for a vodka and tomato juice in a wanky glass, because your bar staff dress like Tommy Shelby and chuck a cocktail shaker about for 30 seconds

Thank you for the proper belly laugh at the Thomas Shelby thing.

@onlychildhamster

lush bath bombs- its just coloured water. Give me bubbles anyday (and you don't need to pay £££ as its just sodium laureth sulfate).

Massages- I don't feel relaxed at all.

Are you me?!

@JennieLee

Have now realised what a little sunbeam I am. I like

Walking - with or without family
Baths
Being given flowers
Asparagus
Cooking and Baking - including new recipes
Gifts of jam
Fruit tea
Beaches - more rockpooling/exploring than sunbathing.
Having 'Happy Birthday' sung to me or singing it.
Hotels
Iyengar Yoga
A well-made cappucino
Seafood.

I like all these things too (except walks with teens when in stroppy mode & I've never tried Yoga) but I'd hate it if I was 'expected' to enjoy them (stroppy genes, clearly!)

75% of avocados. The other 25% are delicious.

Hen weekends

Fish and chips.

Smells amazing.

Tastes bland and makes you feel greasy and bloated after just a few mouthfulls.

So with you on the massages - spending up to an hour being touched by a randomer is my idea of hell!

@DinosaurPantz I love a nap! Honestly it’s the best luxury. I also like spa days and massages, what is wrong with people! I guess it makes it quieter for me
I agree with the breakfast in bed thing though, I don’t really like breakfast and don’t like eating in bed.

Camping - just no, no proper bathroom, no bed, being wet and cold, just no

Seafood

Prosecco - well overrated imo

@Wandafishcake

Fish and chips.

Smells amazing.

Tastes bland and makes you feel greasy and bloated after just a few mouthfulls.

That's cause you're doing it wrong - get a portion of chips to split between 2 or 3, and leave most of the fish batter. The fish inside is delicious if it's been done right, perfectly poached. Mushy peas though - mmmm! Yum!

Shower sex
Food shopping
Massages