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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my 11 year old shave her legs?

116 replies

whycantwegoonasthree · 13/09/2021 23:22

She's started to feel really self conscious about them and has asked me for a razor. Instinctively my reaction was "No!! You're too young!!" - but I didn't say this, and have put off the conversation until the weekend.

She's just started secondary, which I think has brought it to a head - but she has been murmuring dissatisfaction for some time.

To be fair she has very pale skin and very thick dark hair - she's utterly beautiful, like a little snow-white, but it does mean the hair on her legs is quite obvious, and I know other girls have mentioned it to her. (Little fuckers, girls, aren't they?)

I'm no help on this - my hair is fine and fair and I have about three on each leg - I shave about once a fortnight and only if I remember.

So I don't know what to suggest/do. It feels like shaving will be making a rod for her back, and ultimately make her more hairy, but I simply don't know what else is sensible/practical at this age... or whether I should just be encouraging her to embrace her hairy legs.

What would you do?

OP posts:

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/09/2021 23:23

Get her an electric ladyshave type thing and let her do it.

Rubyupbeat · 13/09/2021 23:26

Let her do it, shes conscious of her legs so dont make it worse.

CtrlU · 13/09/2021 23:27

If the hair is there and she is conscious of it then I would absolutely let her shave it.

Or take her to have them waxed

ZednotZee · 13/09/2021 23:28

I bought DD those exfoliating pads which get rid of leg hair.
Don't trust her with a razor just yet seeing as I can barely use one with any degree of proficiency.

ThreeLittleDots · 13/09/2021 23:29

Please let her do it, safely. It won't grow back thicker. It's her choice.

CallMeMabel · 13/09/2021 23:33

I let my 11 year old shave her legs, I got her an electric ladyshave months ago and I think she's used it twice! I think the fact that she knows she can shave her legs if she wants to makes it seem less of an issue for her.

cantpooinpeace · 13/09/2021 23:33

Show her how to do it, buy her a decent razor & some nice shave foam then give her all your tips. The alternative is she will do herself badly!

Dobbyismyabsolutefav · 13/09/2021 23:33

Girls shouldn't have to get rid of the hairs on their legs but if your DD is self conscious then definitely let her remove them.

My DD was about 13 when she wanted to remove her under arm hair, as she was a swimmer. She used Veet for a while then moved on to shaving then waxing when a bit older. I know some might say 11 is too young but girls are hitting puberty much earlier than we did and your DD's comfort is the most important thing.

LemonSwan · 13/09/2021 23:39

Bare leg season in the UK is only really a few months during school term. Shaving is just starting a continous problem & Winter is nearly here.

I would make an agreement with her that you will get them waxed once this weekend, that will last at least 6 weeks then she can wear tights until warmer months next year then you will take her to get them waxed in mid April. So max 2 -3 times a year.

Once in Sept start, Once late spring, Once before holiday for swimming etc.

stevalnamechanger · 13/09/2021 23:41

Hair removal cream would likely be easiest !

GrandTheftWalrus · 13/09/2021 23:43

My 4yo has noticed the hair on her legs now. She's very hairy but I haven't shaved mine and just said everyone has it. I really hope I can hold her off for a while.

Dixiechickonhols · 13/09/2021 23:44

My teen uses veet hair removal cream and has for a few years.

BloodyTinaNextdoorAgain · 13/09/2021 23:44

My mum didn't let me shave. I was teased for it and would cry every time we had PE. I'd make up excuses not to take part. I'd wear long trousers at every opportunity and be uncomfortable because of it rather than show my legs.
As an adult I'm incredibly self conscious about my body hair and still hate to have uncovered legs.
My mum is blonde and I was pale with black hair.

I'd teach her how to remove the hair safely.

Blueberry40 · 13/09/2021 23:44

Please let her do it. My mum didn’t and I was bullied mercilessly! Us pale skinned, dark haired girls have to start shaving early as it’s just so visible.

TwoLeftElbows · 13/09/2021 23:45

Get her an electric lady shaver, maybe a plug in so she doesn't have to manage charging it. I remember my mum's horror at the idea of me shaving my legs. I obediently promised I wouldn't, and then of course did it anyway with a bic, without anyone having told me to go careful round the boney bits...

Elouera · 13/09/2021 23:45

Do you realise that shaving/waxing/threading or plucking won't suddenly make the follicles grow more hairs than before!!!

Just because you have 3 legs hairs doesn't mean SHE isn't self conscious at having dark hair. Either show her how to shave, try depilatory creams or discuss getting it waxed.

Danikm151 · 13/09/2021 23:47

Let her do it.

Stinkywizzleteets · 13/09/2021 23:49

While it’s the girl’s choice if she shaves her legs, I really hate how women and girls are forced to shave natural body hair because they are bullied for having it. Why aren’t we teaching kids body hair is natural and normal and having it is a personal choice and highlighting how awful the bullying is, instead of normalising hair removal in pre-teen kids to stop the bullying?

BlotBangRub · 13/09/2021 23:51

Let her do it, or buy her a ladyshave as others have suggested.
Don't you remember how it felt being a self conscious young girl?

RubyGoat · 13/09/2021 23:51

@Blueberry40

Please let her do it. My mum didn’t and I was bullied mercilessly! Us pale skinned, dark haired girls have to start shaving early as it’s just so visible.

Completely agree. Listen to your DD. I'm pale with black body hair & used to shave with my father's discarded rusty razors if there wasn't anything else. My mother refused to help. One of the first things I bought when I got a Saturday job was a plug in electric razor.

user1745 · 13/09/2021 23:53

I would let her remove it but she doesn't necessarily have to shave. Hair removal cream is a good option (under supervision the first couple of times at least).

I have pale skin and dark hair and it was really embarrassing as a teenager. So in the end I took one of my dad's razors and shaved with completely dry legs, having no idea what I was doing, and cut them badly. I still have the scars. I wish my mum had shown me how to do it properly, or given me hair removal cream, so I didn't spend 4 years wearing long socks for PE even in summer, always wearing tights even in summer when I really wanted bare legs, etc.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/09/2021 23:55

Let her shave her legs, fgs. She'll learn, they're her legs, and she should be allowed to make this decision. I started shaving at 10 as did my daughter.

RumblyMumbly · 13/09/2021 23:56

Buy her a ladyshave so she has the option. I did for my DD as she wanted to shave her forearms. It's so sad that she noticed and disliked the hairs (they are dark and long so supect someone may have commented) I told her we all have hair and she is beautiful but it's her body and her choice. I don't think she does it regularly but it was a novelty that she could and see what it looked like.
Now she's hitting puberty she can decide if she wants to remove underarm hair too independently and I feel like a ladyshave is a straightforward option that she can be in control of safely and when she feels like it ( that doesn't require keeping asking you to buy veet or book appts for waxing).

AhNowTed · 13/09/2021 23:59

Let her.

But I would suggest just to the knee unless her hair is very dark on her thighs.

That's what i did in my youth as my thighs were sparse compared to below the knee.

I speak as a mum to a daughter who shaves literally nothing. And she's quite hairy. Belly line, bikini line, inside thighs and all down her legs are quite dark and noticeable. Underarms the same - she's hairy and proud.

She doesn't care, but I did to an extent.

It's her choice.

Original poster

whycantwegoonasthree · 14/09/2021 00:01

@Elouera

Do you realise that shaving/waxing/threading or plucking won't suddenly make the follicles grow more hairs than before!!!

Just because you have 3 legs hairs doesn't mean SHE isn't self conscious at having dark hair. Either show her how to shave, try depilatory creams or discuss getting it waxed.

I know she is - and I wasn't saying that because I'm not self conscious, she shouldn't be - I was just saying that when it comes to hair removal I'm a bit fucking clueless. Especially about what is best to do for really thick dark hair.

OP posts:

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