Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 11 year old shave her legs?

116 replies

whycantwegoonasthree · 13/09/2021 23:22

She's started to feel really self conscious about them and has asked me for a razor. Instinctively my reaction was "No!! You're too young!!" - but I didn't say this, and have put off the conversation until the weekend.

She's just started secondary, which I think has brought it to a head - but she has been murmuring dissatisfaction for some time.

To be fair she has very pale skin and very thick dark hair - she's utterly beautiful, like a little snow-white, but it does mean the hair on her legs is quite obvious, and I know other girls have mentioned it to her. (Little fuckers, girls, aren't they?)

I'm no help on this - my hair is fine and fair and I have about three on each leg - I shave about once a fortnight and only if I remember.

So I don't know what to suggest/do. It feels like shaving will be making a rod for her back, and ultimately make her more hairy, but I simply don't know what else is sensible/practical at this age... or whether I should just be encouraging her to embrace her hairy legs.

What would you do?

OP posts:
Biscoffee · 14/09/2021 05:17

Let her do it Op.

JustGiveMeGin · 14/09/2021 05:20

I've been waxing my daughter's legs since she was 8/9 at her request.

Maray1967 · 14/09/2021 08:14

I have boys so have no experience as a mum dealing with this but I am pale skinned with dark hair and fortunately so was my mum. I started shaving at 12 or 13 (forty years ago, so I wouldn’t be surprised at 11 now) and my mum showed me how to do it. Bath is best, I think, as a warm soak seems to make it easier. Get her a Venus type razor and shaving gel - men’s gel is fine and cheaper. Show her to do long steady strokes on her calves being careful round her ankle and back of knee. She probably won’t need to go above the knees . She might also need to do her big toes… I also do forearms as mine are bad - just a few runs down the arm deals with it. The tricky bit I think is underarms. It’s easier to shave too far out and make the skin sore. If she does underarms at night, it’s usually ok to use deo the next morning whereas it can sting if used straight after shaving.
And teach her to rinse the bath or shower tray out afterwards!

LindaEllen · 14/09/2021 08:31

Firstly, her shaving doesn't mean she will get hairier. I don't understand people who say this. She will still have the same number of hair follicles as before.

Secondly, coming into puberty is when girls can start to really think about their appearance and want to grow into their own person. She wants to shave her legs. Let her. Not to let her - knowing she could be suffering cruel remarks as a result - would be cruel.

No girl should feel that they have to shave, but neither should they be stopped if they want to do that. As many have said, HER body hair, HER choice.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 14/09/2021 08:34

Snow White wasn't covered in fur!

I think let her do it. I let my daughter. I was allowed to shave my legs at that age, but wasn't allowed to do other things like wash my hair enough or remove visible ear wax! The teasing can be awful.

mrsbitaly · 14/09/2021 08:38

In an ideal world it would be lovely to allow her to embrace herself but as you have mentioned others have picked it up which can make your daughter self conscious. I would be exactly the same my initial thought NO but I think in this instance if its making her unhappy then I would go for it. Maybe she can start with one of those pads that rub the hair off I forget what it's called but will prevent her from nicking herself if she tries to do it whilst your not there.

Original poster
whycantwegoonasthree · 14/09/2021 08:56

@LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus

Snow White wasn't covered in fur!

I think let her do it. I let my daughter. I was allowed to shave my legs at that age, but wasn't allowed to do other things like wash my hair enough or remove visible ear wax! The teasing can be awful.

Snow white had white skin and thick, black hair. I'm betting she had SUPER hairy legs, but we'll never know because we never saw them.
OP posts:
thelegohooverer · 14/09/2021 08:57

Show her a safe way. It’s too young to be messing around with chemicals, hot wax and those sandpaper pad things which can give you very bad burns before you even realise you’re doing a damage.
A battery operated shaver is a good option I think.

suredsun · 14/09/2021 08:58

All those saying she's too young / society shouldn't pressure girls to shave their body hair have obviously never suffered the trauma of being genuinely hairy. My dark hair - legs, arms, shoulders, top lip, a bikini line almost down to my knees (not PCS, just an accident of genetics) - is so profuse that even waxing isn't an option; within a couple of weeks I have dark stubble again which is too noticeable to leave to grow long enough to rewax. Hair removal cream brings me out in a rash, besides it's too expensive and too time consuming to do such large areas. Shaving is the only option for me. Lack of confidence because of body hair has affected me ever since I was a teenager; I've never felt able to wear shorts or backless dresses and it's caused me issues in all my relationships until I met DH who genuinely doesn't seem to care. I now shave the important but daily and the less important bits depending on what I'm wearing. Stubble isn't great but it's better than thick black hair.
Please let her shave them if she is self-conscious and it's bad. An electric lady shave isn't a bad idea for one so young and opaque tights are also her friend for the cooler months.

Kevinishot · 14/09/2021 09:07

Shaving is so easy now - those fat blades with great big cushioned soap pad things, it’s nothing like it was when we were younger - my dds both shave & it takes seconds and don’t think either of them have ever cut themselves.
One of my dds is very dark haired & fair skinned - she has been shaving her legs & armpits since year 5 when she said she hated her hairy legs. She’s now 15 & not a delinquent in anyway, she just doesn’t want hairy legs. It’s no big deal - it’s not some anti-feminist move - she just doesn’t want hairy legs. Don’t understand the angst!

Chunkymenrock · 14/09/2021 09:07

She can do it but do take the opportunity to lightly explain that there are women all over the world who DON'T do it. It's just 'normal within our culture. She can stop any time she likes, it's up to her.

MsFrog · 14/09/2021 09:09

I'd let her. It's a good opportunity to let her see that her body is her own to make decisions about, no one else's, not ever her mother. She can reflect in the feminist viewpoint and the cultural norms in time.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 14/09/2021 09:10

it's fine
I let my DDs know that some women prefer to remove some body hair, some don't. I asked them to let me know if they wanted to. eldest asked at 13 and I got her an electric shaver as this appeared the easiest. she's very blonde so can get away with a less close shave. I think she maybe used it half a dozen times before deciding that unless it's a special event she can't be arsed.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 14/09/2021 09:11

Absolutely let her do it. If she's old enough to be self condos about it she's old enough to use a solution. It isn't a decision thing its a fitting in at school thing. Don't force her to remain as she is to make a point about her age. The nasty commenters aren't going to respect her age.
Personally i'd take her to have laser removal. It's so easy, wish I'd done it early, would have saved me a fortune in money and time. I did mine at 40 and now rarely have to shave my legs.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 14/09/2021 09:12

Decision = sexual maturity. No idea how auto correct managed that one!

TokyoSushi · 14/09/2021 09:15

Yes I agree, let her do it, but show her how.

I just went ahead without asking anybody when I was in Yr 7 (before the days of Youtube/internet even!) and just dry shaved them with one of those yellow Bic razors - eeek!

Tomhardyshadabath · 14/09/2021 09:16

Show her how and let her do it. My daughter has been shaving her legs since she was 10, she also has pale skin and dark hair. It had really started to bother her and is now a non-issue. We started with Veet but she found it a faff and it still smells as bad as it did in the 80s. She now uses a razor and foam burst.

Frazzled2207 · 14/09/2021 09:17

Def let her do it

winteroversummer · 14/09/2021 09:20

I remember my mum not letting me in year seven, she thought it was too young and could barely see any hairs. When I was cold after the showers in pe and under the bright lights everyone else could see it though and I hated it.

Let her do it

CheersToTheWe3kend · 14/09/2021 09:23

My mum was a beautician and so waxed me from the age of 11. I am fair/olive skinned with my dad's afro very dark hair plus PCOS so I've always struggled with excessive hair.

I had exactly the same as your daughter. Got to secondary school and in my first PE lesson was teased as to why my legs were so hairy 😒

Eventually my mum taught me how to shave after a couple of years of waxing as I then didn't like having to wait for the hair to be long enough to wax.

Rugsofhonour · 14/09/2021 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 14/09/2021 09:25

Why would you stop her? Her body. Her body hair. Her choice if she wants to remove it and how.

My advice would be to explain the range of hair removal options (including leaving it alone), and ask which of them she would like to try. Get her what she needs, let her try, and she will settle on what she wants to do

gamerchick · 14/09/2021 09:26

I'll never understand why parents want to control what their kids do with their own bodyhair. Hair or otherwise. She wants to do it, she's asked for help rather than just going for it with dads razor like we did back in the day. Give her a safe method and let her get on with it.

TheWeatherWitch · 14/09/2021 09:28

I don’t think at 11 she should need your permission to shave.

Have you seen the ‘sandpaper’ mitts that exfoliate and remove hair? You can get them in Wilko for about 99p and there’s zero risk of cutting or nicking her skin.

I’d hate to be hairy and doing PE with other girls, as you said yourself “little fuckers arnt they”

SafferUpNorth · 14/09/2021 09:30

Hair removal cream for now. Kinder than shaving or waxing. She'll be in tights soon anyway.

Swipe left for the next trending thread