Or is the competitive under eating on mumsnet harmful?

[foreverlobsters]

Full disclaimer- I have a history of eating disorders myself so am possibly over sensitive to this.

Have been reading through another currently active thread as well as what we eat in a day etc (which I occasionally post on and do find interesting). Why do people feel the need to post about their extremely low calorie days on here, or give potentially harmful advice? What's the incentive exactly- and are these people lying about how much they really eat or is most of the mumsnet population in an extreme calorie deficit? Do these people not see how selfish and damaging these posts can be?

I’ve seen threads like:

“AIBU, do I look overweight?” (where OP turns out to be all of a pound overweight but carries it really well so you’d never know)

Me: “No”

Other posters when OP has announced that she is a pound overweight: “We have lost sight of what a healthy body looks like, OP is clearly massive”

It’s quite weird.

None of it really bothers me personally so I click on these threads to watch the madness unfurl. I loved the angst over quavers on the recent thread so much.

@SoupDragon

It is so tedious reading about "fat shaming" when people think "thin shaming" is perfectly fine.

The two are in no way equivalent, though. Society prizes thinness, so even someone who is insulted for her thin body has the ingrained knowledge that her body type is generally approved of and sought after. A fat person knows the opposite — that her body type is viewed as evidence of greed, poor impulse control, poor diet, lack of exercise, poverty etc.

The two are in no way equivalent, though

Yes they are.

A fat person knows the opposite — that her body type is viewed as evidence of greed, poor impulse control, poor diet, lack of exercise, poverty etc.

And a thin person knows she is viewed as "anorexic" "competitive under eating" "disordered eating" "skeletal" etc etc.

(And I'm absolutely not slim!)

The thing is, if you comment on someone eating too much, you are called out for fat shaming. The "competitive overeating" type posts are seen as perfectly acceptable

I agree, you can’t comment on these threads because you get ripped to shreds. And as a pp shows, some deem it perfectly acceptable to thin shame someone. Just not fat shame. They don’t understand people can be underweight and self conscious and feel uncomfortable
For them it’s a prize so you can take the abuse.

@SoupDragon

The two are in no way equivalent, though

Yes they are.

A fat person knows the opposite — that her body type is viewed as evidence of greed, poor impulse control, poor diet, lack of exercise, poverty etc.

And a thin person knows she is viewed as "anorexic" "competitive under eating" "disordered eating" "skeletal" etc etc.

That is categorically untrue. The thin body type is considered desirable and something to be worked for, and individual insults (which I’m obviously not condoning any more than I’m condoning fat-shaming, have to be seen against a general approval.

@Bluntness100

The thing is, if you comment on someone eating too much, you are called out for fat shaming. The "competitive overeating" type posts are seen as perfectly acceptable

I agree, you can’t comment on these threads because you get ripped to shreds. And as a pp shows, some deem it perfectly acceptable to thin shame someone. Just not fat shame. They don’t understand people can be underweight and self conscious and feel uncomfortable
For them it’s a prize so you can take the abuse.

But is IS generally viewed as a prize by society at large. Individual insults don’t alter that.

It IS, sorry.

@SoupDragon

The two are in no way equivalent, though

Yes they are.

A fat person knows the opposite — that her body type is viewed as evidence of greed, poor impulse control, poor diet, lack of exercise, poverty etc.

And a thin person knows she is viewed as "anorexic" "competitive under eating" "disordered eating" "skeletal" etc etc.

I actually agree with @SoupDragon even as an obese person. I mean you never see "She/you look like a binge eating disorder", that would be deleted ASAP. But I saw "she/you look anorexic" so many times. Both are unacceptable, yet one features often...

@foreverlobsters

This thread wasn't intended to be about whether 1200 calories or however many is enough or not. It's about whether some posts are damaging and should be moderated- and me taking issue with people posting days of eating far, far fewer calories than that.

People coming on this thread to post that 'yes but some people do need to eat less' are both missing the point and probably adding to the problem on other threads.

To be fair, OP, you've compounded the problem by starting a thread. If you think more moderating is needed, why not just contact MNHQ directly?

You can't post a thread and then police whatever you consider is wrong or nonsense. It would be like shooting fish in a barrel anyway...

If you don't want to promote undereating, don't give oxygen to the subject.

@Annoyedanddissapointed, I don’t know where it is you’re seeing this kind of comment, or who is doing the deleting, but I’d suggest it’s because the thin insults are made against a blanket approval of thinness, whereas there’s no such equivalent with fatness. Models are very thin. I’ve certainly see Fat Acceptance/‘Celebrate Your Curves’ attitudes pilloried on here for endorsing unhealthy eating.

[quote SeriouslyISuppose]@Annoyedanddissapointed, I don’t know where it is you’re seeing this kind of comment, or who is doing the deleting, but I’d suggest it’s because the thin insults are made against a blanket approval of thinness, whereas there’s no such equivalent with fatness. Models are very thin. I’ve certainly see Fat Acceptance/‘Celebrate Your Curves’ attitudes pilloried on here for endorsing unhealthy eating.[/quote]
Oh I've seen both extremes here. There is no middle ground on MN.
You are either too skinny or too fat.
You either sniff a cake once a month for your carb load or you eat a cake 3 times a day.
You either eat a whole chicken or feed family of 15 with it for two weeks. Month is you are an advanced level.
You either spend £10 for 4 people on weekly shop and still mange to get a lobster or you spend £200 and shop in Aldi.

Nothing is normal on MN.
But the problem is that while some of the things can be actually entertaining (omg you spend HOW much? £50 for 3 adults? What do you eat? Gold?), some are pretty disturbing, and I would actually say, in few cases, dangerous. The eating issue is in the latter cathegory imho

@SeriouslyISuppose prime example.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4330223-aibu-to-find-these-ads-with-anorexic-looking-young-women-offensive

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe yes it does seem to be that way, doesn't it. However if everyone just stayed silent about it then that doesn't help either- maybe some people might read this thread then think more carefully about what they post in the future.

And yes, I will be contacting MNHQ, especially having seen how many other people agree with me and find it upsetting/disturbing/harmful.

[quote foreverlobsters]@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe yes it does seem to be that way, doesn't it. However if everyone just stayed silent about it then that doesn't help either- maybe some people might read this thread then think more carefully about what they post in the future.

And yes, I will be contacting MNHQ, especially having seen how many other people agree with me and find it upsetting/disturbing/harmful. [/quote]
They won't be more careful, foreverlobsters, they will relish posting on and jibing other women with their experiences/fantasies.

I don't disagree with what you've said, I just believe that when a thread gets zero responses, the OP of it gets the message.

But sadly, that won't happen. Eating threads are catnip around here and the competitive eaters (who may be teeny tiny - or more likely, not), will flock to them.

This is really not a board for serious discussion about eating disorders because the fantasists come a-running.

Good luck with MNHQ, I hope it makes a difference.

And quite frankly some fruit and couple of coffees and a proper meal can actually be healthy depending on what the meal is , how much water is consumed and the activity levels.. Much healthier than considering a six pack of donuts a portion or a sharing bag of crisps as a light snack.

One healthy meal can provide enough calories and nutrients to run a healthy body every day? If you were to eat one meal everyday for a week and still get enough cals and nutrients what would you eat?

I have never seen anyone here saying that it is healthy to eat a 6 pack of donuts or a sharing pack of crisps. People might not say that's too much but they don't laud it as being healthy. The other day people were saying that it perfectly healthy not to regularly eat for 24hrs at a time when you have a bmi of 18 and those raising concern were called jealous and told they didn't know what healthy bodies look like.

@Nomoreusernames1244

The ones I hate is where the poster says I’m 5’4 and 9.5 st and people just can’t wait to pile on patronisingly- you can hear the head tilts…

Well if you feel ok o/p, i’m taller than that and 8st, i’d just feel flabby at 9st…

Yes! So annoying and often just intended to make the OP feel horrible and the poster oh so virtuous. I scream Smug Off in my head when I read those ones!

Yes! So annoying and often just intended to make the OP feel horrible and the poster oh so virtuous. I scream Smug Off in my head when I read those ones!

I don't think it's someone beong smug. I honestly believe that many posts like that are a lie designed to make the other person feel shit and they have a good laugh about that behind ther keyboard. I believe there are sinsiter i tntentions behind many of these types of posts. Not just being smug.

Even if 1200 is a reasonable amount to eat while dieting, I still consider dieting to be disordered eating. It teaches people to ignore their hunger cues and creates unhealthy habits.

Fuelling oneself is an essential need.

Being an arbitrary weight isn’t.

I don’t go on the what you eat in a day ones but it sounds like need a disclaimer.
Usually mumsnet the advice is to follow medical advice/err on side of caution but that seems to go out of window on weightloss threads.
The bottom healthy bmi one had lots of worrying posts. As one poster eloquently put it the op was one poo away from being underweight plus regularly going day with no food at all. The nhs advice on bmi calculator for someone that height/weight was to contact your Gp. So many posters saying they weighed less or one who said she was chubby at 18 bmi. A few posters sensibly pointing out such a low bmi carried increased risk of osteoporosis in old age were dismissed.
If you had an ED then you’d certainly find your people on here.
I was obese then lost 5 stone in 8 months on SlimmingWorld and have maintained a healthy bmi since. Honestly if I read mumsnet I’d think only way to lose was to drastically cut what I eat, fast or cut carbs. It’s perfectly possible to lose weight eating sensible portions of healthy food.

Everybody burns at least 1500 calories even if they're in a bloody coma.

Well that's ^ shite for a start.

I do worry about the kids ones too. If you are restricting food to your children then you’d definitely get validated on here. Think it to be called muesli belt malnutrition - imposing adult or faddy eating on children who have much different dietary requirements.
The lunch box ones where poster has given child a ham sandwich, carrot sticks, a penguin and an apple. In my real life experience most kids lunch boxes look like this yet most replies imply you might as well have fed the child a Mars bar.

^It is so tedious reading about "fat shaming" when people think "thin shaming" is perfectly fine.^
The two are in no way equivalent, though. Society prizes thinness, so even someone who is insulted for her thin body has the ingrained knowledge that her body type is generally approved of and sought after
Yes they have similarities and can be just as hurtful for both body types.
Is it fair game to be rude because a person is slim.
I complemented one DC aged 10 on her costume for Halloween, her DM said it'd fit you, all her buddies laughing, I was going to say wouldn't be hard since your DC is fat and it wouldn't fit your leg.
That would have been mean, wouldn't it?

@Shallwegoforawalk

Everybody burns at least 1500 calories even if they're in a bloody coma.

Well that's ^ shite for a start.

I think coma is about 600 cal. Which I've also seen as "I maintain on that" on MN. Though looooong time ago