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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is the competitive under eating on mumsnet harmful?

406 replies

foreverlobsters · 13/09/2021 20:35

Full disclaimer- I have a history of eating disorders myself so am possibly over sensitive to this.

Have been reading through another currently active thread as well as what we eat in a day etc (which I occasionally post on and do find interesting). Why do people feel the need to post about their extremely low calorie days on here, or give potentially harmful advice? What's the incentive exactly- and are these people lying about how much they really eat or is most of the mumsnet population in an extreme calorie deficit? Do these people not see how selfish and damaging these posts can be?

OP posts:
grasstreeleaf · 16/09/2021 18:38

I've not seen this thread. Sounds hilarious!Grin

Neonplant · 16/09/2021 19:06

@grasstreeleaf

I've not seen this thread. Sounds hilarious!Grin
On the current thread somone said its a myth people actually need to eat 3 times a day. (and yes they meant people should eat less not more)
grasstreeleaf · 16/09/2021 19:13

@Neonplant

I'd get that, there is no rule over how many times however there does not need to be such rigidity (as reported). The human body is amazing, fat and glycogen stores do mean we don't have to eat constantly. However, you most certainly can be very healthy eating 3 meals a day.

Kanaloa · 17/09/2021 00:36

@grasstreeleaf

I've not seen this thread. Sounds hilarious!Grin
If you miss it, don’t worry, there will be another one next week.

Usually starting with ‘fat kids coming out of school blah blah full size bottle of Coke blah blah family share bag of crisps.’ Sometimes I wonder how anyone manages to note what another child at school is eating daily. I barely know what mine have eaten.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/09/2021 21:55

"There’s literally a thread right now (and to be honest there’s one every other week) about how nobody should snack. Not ‘people should have healthy food’ but people (all people) don’t need to snack at all."

That has nothing to do with undereating though does it?
And I think snacks CAN be problematic with some people and SOME people would be better off not eating between meals so I think it's a totally valid opinion.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/09/2021 21:56

@BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand

But that poster didn't say her GP had said 1200 calories was the maximum for her personally (which might have been true if she was small/sedentary). She said that her GP had said it was the maximum for a menopausal woman. Which is utter bollocks.
I'll quote her again: "My GP has told me that the 1200 I was following is actually the max for me as a menopausal woman and I should be looking to reduce that…."

Notice the 'for me'. For her as a menopausal woman.

Gwenhwyfar · 17/09/2021 21:59

@WishingWell5

The fact of the matter is, they are and will be damaging to some people regardless of how you feel about it. Teens especially will search for and look on sites like this. It's not necessarily triggering, it's putting forward one sense of reality (or what the 'right' way to diet is) On Mumsnet that appears to be 1200 calories. For some people that might be dangerously low. If you self publish anywhere (especially online) you are personally responsible for what you say. It's a really interesting post and I'm not sure what I think the answer is
This is not a website for teens though. There are adult subjects. And there isn't anything on MN that says that everybody has to be on 1200 calories to lose weight. I don't even see that as a majority experience. It is true for some of us that we'd need to be on that to lose weight and there is no reason why adults can't talk about that.
Gwenhwyfar · 17/09/2021 22:02

"Yes, I also think we can't just blame the internet for eating disorders. Anorexia was a social contagion in the 90s and most people didn't have internet access."

It was blamed on magazines then, but it has always existed as far as I'm aware.

Kanaloa · 18/09/2021 00:17

@Gwenhwyfar

"There’s literally a thread right now (and to be honest there’s one every other week) about how nobody should snack. Not ‘people should have healthy food’ but people (all people) don’t need to snack at all."

That has nothing to do with undereating though does it?
And I think snacks CAN be problematic with some people and SOME people would be better off not eating between meals so I think it's a totally valid opinion.

I was using it as an example of general judgy-ness around food, I went on to say it’s similar to how some people feel the need to jump in and list all the food they’ve eaten in a day even when the thread doesn’t ask them to, and how online forums can magnify that sort of thinking.

And while snacking CAN be problematic for SOME people, as you’ve said, that doesn’t validate the opinion that ‘nobody needs to snack.’

BelleOfTheProvince · 18/09/2021 09:08

Well obviously you are going to find polarised views on aibu. It's very nature is extreme.

They tend to be outrageous in nature.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/09/2021 10:30

"And while snacking CAN be problematic for SOME people, as you’ve said, that doesn’t validate the opinion that ‘nobody needs to snack.’"

Well, it depends what you mean by need. If you eat proper meals, you are not going to die or suffer badly from not snacking, so then you don't NEED to.

Gwenhwyfar · 18/09/2021 10:32

"On the current thread somone said its a myth people actually need to eat 3 times a day. (and yes they meant people should eat less not more)"

Well, it's true that you don't HAVE to have three meals a day. You can organise your meals in various ways. Loads and loads of people don't have breakfast. Of course, most of those people eat the breakfast calories elsewhere. Also, considering that about 60% of people in the UK are overweight, most do eat too much.

BelleOfTheProvince · 18/09/2021 10:34

When I was a size ten student I usually skipped breakfast as I just didn't fancy it.
As the rest of my 'diet' was basically chips, cheese and ice-cream it cancelled it out though!

Gwenhwyfar · 18/09/2021 11:10

@BelleOfTheProvince

When I was a size ten student I usually skipped breakfast as I just didn't fancy it. As the rest of my 'diet' was basically chips, cheese and ice-cream it cancelled it out though!
Well, number of meals doesn't mean much. You can have several small ones, a couple of large ones, whatever.
SoloISland · 18/09/2021 11:45

@PizzaCrust

The infamous Mumsnet chicken that can last for a week of meals…

After I saw that, nothing surprises me anymore.

I did not see that. Was that for one person as if so than I too was guilty for many years and am reverting to it since I discovered that the supermarket that sends my groceries over does rotisserie chickens. The one I got on Thursday has done me three meals; another tomorrow then the whole carcase boiled for soup/stew. and so on.... pensioners have to streeeeetch food.
BelleOfTheProvince · 18/09/2021 11:51

Well yes,.my point being that I used to have a calorie input of at least 2000 a day and was a healthy size ten.
Whereas eating 1800-2000 calories a lot more healthily a decade or two later pushed me to a very unhealthy BMI. Just goes to show it is a very individual thing and an eating pattern that indicates someone has a disorder may be what is needed elsewhere to get someone else out of a dangerous weight.

Nomoreusernames1244 · 18/09/2021 22:17

I’ve just seen a recommendation to ditch the fruit bowl as it’s “packed with sugar”…..

scoopydoopy · 18/09/2021 22:42

@Nomoreusernames1244

I’ve just seen a recommendation to ditch the fruit bowl as it’s “packed with sugar”…..
Same. I mean fuck me, if you can't have fruit, what else can you have? Thin fucking air apparently.
Yogsgirl · 19/09/2021 12:56

Ridiculous- chimps eat little else!

grasstreeleaf · 19/09/2021 14:02

"Nomoreusernames1244"
"I’ve just seen a recommendation to ditch the fruit bowl as it’s “packed with sugar”….."
Same. I mean fuck me, if you can't have fruit, what else can you have? Thin fucking air apparently.

Whilst I don't think it is necessarily necessary for people to give up fruit I think people have got to consider posts like this in context. Fruit does contain sugar and if someone was complaining their diet consisted of lots of fruit but they had problems with insulin resistance/ satiety levels they might consider eating something different. More non starchy veg rather than so much fruit and protein.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/09/2021 14:06

"Whilst I don't think it is necessarily necessary for people to give up fruit I think people have got to consider posts like this in context. Fruit does contain sugar and if someone was complaining their diet consisted of lots of fruit but they had problems with insulin resistance/ satiety levels they might consider eating something different. More non starchy veg rather than so much fruit and protein."

Official advice for the 5 a day is at least 3 portions being veg isn't it. So it's not so bad to say that fruit are good, but in moderation because of the sugar.

grasstreeleaf · 19/09/2021 14:06

That is eat the protein and non starchy veg. Sorry my sentence construction was a bit misleading there.

scoopydoopy · 19/09/2021 14:33

I mean yeah, of course it has some sugar in, but it's hardly a Mars bar. I think the suggestion to 'ditch the fruit bowl' is ridiculous

grasstreeleaf · 19/09/2021 15:13

No, it's not a Mars bar. Whether the amount fruit a person eats is problematic really depends on the amount of fruit, what else they eat and that individual person's state of health at the time.

I can't really get that excited by this.

Gwenhwyfar · 19/09/2021 19:42

@scoopydoopy

I mean yeah, of course it has some sugar in, but it's hardly a Mars bar. I think the suggestion to 'ditch the fruit bowl' is ridiculous
If you've ever had mice or fruit flies you won't want a fruit bowl! All my food has to be in the fridge or cupboard.