Or is the competitive under eating on mumsnet harmful?

[foreverlobsters]

Full disclaimer- I have a history of eating disorders myself so am possibly over sensitive to this.

Have been reading through another currently active thread as well as what we eat in a day etc (which I occasionally post on and do find interesting). Why do people feel the need to post about their extremely low calorie days on here, or give potentially harmful advice? What's the incentive exactly- and are these people lying about how much they really eat or is most of the mumsnet population in an extreme calorie deficit? Do these people not see how selfish and damaging these posts can be?

As someone who is fat, and would like not to be, I can't say I've noted any fat shaming, clearly not on the 'right' posts and I browse pretty much all of them. As for disordered eating- it's like the income thing. Everyone is either in the bones of their arse with 20p left over maybe and that's a luxury, or earning 6 figures with bonuses........same with the eating. Either someone is smashing a box of Pringle's in 20 minutes, or they bought a chicken which will feed their family of 10 for 5 days. If you have disordered eating, don't read. It's your responsibility to stay away from those threads, as most are daft anyway. Or if it's a weight loss thread, don't open it. Titles should be a good indicator.

@SD1978 Exactly everything is at the extreme end of the spectrum here.
Especially the bloody chicken.

@NinjaExodus

I like the....if you are 5 foot 7 how much do you weigh

Then a ton of people come on and say ooooh 6 stone 12 but I'm aiming to get back to my goal weight of 5 stone 13.

Numpties.

Ignore em op.

I've never seen that extreme. Hyperbole doesn't prove anything.

I too have suffered from eating disorders and it’s taken me a long while to actually enjoy what I eat. I now just roll my eyes when I see the competitive under-eating, whilst in the past I’d find it triggering so I’d just hide those threads just so I wouldn’t have to come across anything like that which would make me question the very little that I’d eaten that day, I gradually started to enjoy reading such threads on my non-cheat days because it gave me new ideas of what to cook and it reminded me that it’s normal to have at least three meals a day.

But now that I’m in a better place, I can just overlook those type of competitive posts and I do feel sorry for those people who need validation like that.

I’m a chronic name changer but I often use Food/Recipes for more ideas or post for more suggestions etc.

I don’t think 1200 calories is wrong though? Doesn’t it depend on your lifestyle and whether you want to lose or maintain weight? I’m currently on a calorie limit of 1335 but I don’t really mind if I go over the limit and I have cheat days every 4 days. It’s just because I’m too lazy to exercise so calorie counting really helps for my food diary.

I try to do more volume eating whilst maintaining my calorie limit. As long as you’re happy and healthy, that’s all that matters.

And I think the veggie/beans chilli, rice and cheese combo sounds lovely

I think people should stop trying to limit what other people can say in case they are "triggered". Take responsibility for your own stuff. And I say this as someone with a very serious anxiety disorder related to body image.

This call to limit others' speech is frankly suffocating.

@Theredjellybean

You should know that you really shouldn't reas those threads. If you have an eating disorder you're never truely free, it's like an addiction. So you are triggering yourself reading this stuff. Just stop.

This.

If you don’t like these threads then don’t read them. Stop trying to control everyone else’s freedom of speech because of your own issues.

@WandaVision2

MFP recommended 1200 kcal

This is notoriously incorrect for most people

@stevalnamechanger Yes and no. According to my GP, a 1200 calorie limit is fine for some people. Sure, it’s not suitable for everyone, but it depends on your lifestyle, age and height. It’s all relative. It depends on whether someone wants to lose, gain or maintain.

For my age and height, I was told 1500 calories would be good if I was more active, but 1335 would be better for a sedentary lifestyle like mine. I’m still eating the same as my diet in itself wasn’t unhealthy, just making healthier choices and eating more regularly. Whereas my mum feels that she can’t eat after a certain time of day and this was actually encouraged by her GP. We are all different.

I’d definitely recommend talking to a GP or a nutritionist before starting to make significant changes.

I'm overweight with a history of ED. Not currently happy with my weight but I'm trying to just.. eat
So some days I might want crisps, some days I want grapes or salad and that's fine
I even struggle to eat in front of people because I think they must be thinking "well that's why she's so fat etc etc" so yeah the threads about how easy it is just to "cut back and eat this instead"
I don't eat that much but I can't exercise and I've got a knackered thyroid so I'm trying to just eat like a healthy person

It's like when threads say "mmm three eggs is a bit much for breakfast"
Well what else did they eat that day? And the day before? Because some days I want all the food and some days I don't 🤷🏽‍♀️

i think id rather have a boast about how much i enjoy eating if im saying anything on the subject🤣-i couldnt give a f#ck about denying or starving or fitting into size12 skinnies-ive got a perfectly healthy body(hourglass,size16)-&very active lifestyle,i just love to eat, simple as that"healthy"&otherwise and dont get why this is such a thing?

I'm 5'5 and have to eat approximately 1500 cals per day to stay at 10 stone. I'm a sedentary woman in her late 30's. It isn't disordered, it's totally fucking normal. I'm slim but definitely not thin.

@NotMyCat I have those days too, as long as you’re not under-eating to compensate for those days that you do eat Regardless of what you’ve eaten the previous day, you still need to eat regularly every single day, granted some days we snack a bit more, but that doesn’t mean the next day we just have a salad and that’s it. Protein is very important for energy levels. And healthy fats are also good for you too

I agree that some people aren’t the most sensitive or they feel they need some kind of validation with their competitive undereating. But try not to see your weight in a negative way. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying life and what it has to offer to the fullest. If you’ve spoken to a healthcare specialist and they agree that you need to lose weight to be healthy, just simple things like walking a little more or taking the stairs can add in a little more exercise. Just having a healthy balanced diet and regular meals can do wonders to one’s health and mental well-being. I love walks in the park and then I can sit and read a book and have my sandwich or whatever.

Social anxiety was and in some ways still is the bane of my life. I know the feeling of not wanting to eat in front of others, it took me a long time to overcome that. Once in a while I might fall back into old habits of disordered thinking. But sometimes you just have to think, “who cares if they’re staring, I’m enjoying my meal” and chances are, in most cases those voices in your head or those stares, are just in your head. They’re probably not even thinking of you and just preoccupied with their own thoughts etc.

I hope I don’t come across too harsh, I’ve been there and I know it’s not easy. I still have some bad days, but I know that I’ll have good days too

@WatchMyChops definitely
Sometimes my head says "you're disgusting, there's enough fat on you.. blah blah blah" but I find if I'm in that mood i manage bland stuff like porridge or yoghurt or fruit
I have to remind myself I'm never going to be petite - I'm 5ft 10!

@Susannahmoody

I'm 5'5 and have to eat approximately 1500 cals per day to stay at 10 stone. I'm a sedentary woman in her late 30's. It isn't disordered, it's totally fucking normal. I'm slim but definitely not thin.

I've said it before and I'll say it again- I never brought up a set number of calories on here- I don't disagree with you at all. It's other posters who seem to be doing that.

Thank you also to all the posters who are continuing to tell me to just not read the threads- I have already stated multiple times now that I will try to stop.

Thanks to many of you for being so understanding and kind. Lots to think about.

@Gorl

Mumsnet is terrible for fat shaming and promoting disordered eating. I think it’s something MNHQ should make more of an effort to combat it tbh.

Whaaa? In 10 years I have never seen that.

@foreverlobsters I don’t think anyone was disagreeing with you, I’m assuming the poster you quoted was having a discussion with someone else. I think one poster mentioned something about cringing at a 1200 calorie limit so of course the discussion might move away from your OP.

I’m glad you’ve agreed to hiding the threads that are possibly triggering as that’s what I used to do and still do if needed. But I do not agree with this:

People coming on this thread to post that 'yes but some people do need to eat less' are both missing the point and probably adding to the problem on other threads.

That’s a massive assumption to make. Besides, I’m sure you are aware by now that threads don’t always follow discussion points from an OP. In fact, people might even talk to others and discuss other points that aren’t always mentioned in an OP. So unless someone directly referred to you, I don’t think anyone was saying that you brought up a set number of calories.

There are some very odd ideas about food.

For me it’s often not so much always about what is said as how it’s said that makes me wary. Where there is a moral tone of superiority or shaming. Where someone is getting their sense of identity, status and self-worth from their relationship with food.

In reality, there is a lot of diversity in how people’s bodies function. And the use of personal, anecdotal experience to try to invalidate another person’s situation isn’t helpful for people who may be struggling with food, whether that struggle is mental, physical, financial.

There is a lot we don’t really know, or are only starting to understand about how our bodies work.

And also a little bit of knowledge can be a dangerous thing. So a lot of people get very caught up in things like TDEE and metabolic rates, especially in relation to calories to consume.

And that is a part of how the body works but not the whole picture. There are a lot of other factors.

For example that your gut microbiome can affect how many calories you absorb from food. People with high levels of methanogens absorb more calories form food than the standard caloric value. People with high levels of SRBs absorb fewer calories.

So a person with a high level of methanogens really could be eating a seemingly very low amount of food a day and still gaining weight.

Whilst a person with a high level of SRBs could still be losing weight despite consuming a very high calorie diet and a lot of very energy rich foods.

Such threads are too triggering for you, best stay away. I like an emphasis on balance and being healthy

I disagree

You have a history of eating disorders, you shouldn’t click on the links for weight loss/ low carb/ fasting etc.

I think everyone is entitled to eat the way they want, be it Vegan, keto, time restricted, low carb, high carb.

If you don’t agree with a thread on low calorie or low carb, don’t click on it. I don’t think it’s the moderators place to deem what is or is or is not ‘healthy’.

OP, despite its many good points, Mn can tend to specialise in a sort of LMC competitive sanctimoniousness which can express itself via anything from ‘We just order a 12 inch pizza between four adults and save the leftovers’ to ‘I can’t sit down at night till all skirting boards are dusted’. It’s also perfectly possible the majority of the ‘winners’ at these are purely or largely fantasy — this is the Internet, we could any of us be anyone.

YANBU

I think what is damaging is if people take to heart the absolute bollocks people write about calorie intake, anything under 1500 is starvation. It's what you eat as well as the quantity of it which is important. Very low calorie diets can be a very good idea indeed - my GP would certainly agree. But it very much depends on your nutritional intake on them.

The problem in society is not generally people undereating! It's eating highly processed food and often overeating this kind of food and hence loads of obesity.

I’ve seen some awful fat shaming and disordered eating paraded as ‘healthy’ on here and it has made me wonder whether a much larger percentage of women in general think and eat this way, which would be very sad. There is so much more to life than staying a certain dress size. It’s easy to avoid the obvious threads but it works it’s way into seemingly unrelated threads too so you can’t always avoid it.

Probably missing the point of this thread, but surely it depends what those 1200 calories are made up of?

It is perfectly possible to eat well (and enjoyably)and be perfectly full on 1200 calories with a bit of planning.

It’s also perfectly possible to consume 1200 calories in 5minutes and still be ravenous.

I have a colleague who sits and eats a tiny Tupperware tub of tomatoes and carrots at lunch….then loses the plot mid afternoon and chows a share bag of Twirl bites. She is a healthy weight, but I couldn’t eat like that. I think with all the convenient food options that we have, many people choose foods that don’t satisfy them, so end up craving processed shite (myself included sometimes).

I know that if I eat well (lots of veggies, grains, spice, etc) then I feel better and more energetic and am motivated to keep eating and cooking well. I also know if I start the day with a slab of buttery sourdough toast, I’m going to be more tired and crave more and more carbs and do less exercise….but some days, a bit of sourdough is the only thing that will cut it….

Everything in moderation.

I should say, I rarely eat 1200 calories (only if I want to lose weight) - eatmore like 1800, but I also cycle and run everyday.