Or is the competitive under eating on mumsnet harmful?

[foreverlobsters]

Full disclaimer- I have a history of eating disorders myself so am possibly over sensitive to this.

Have been reading through another currently active thread as well as what we eat in a day etc (which I occasionally post on and do find interesting). Why do people feel the need to post about their extremely low calorie days on here, or give potentially harmful advice? What's the incentive exactly- and are these people lying about how much they really eat or is most of the mumsnet population in an extreme calorie deficit? Do these people not see how selfish and damaging these posts can be?

@Nietzschethehiker

I mean look at this , you specifically posted that you have had ED and some posters are so compulsive they start posting weights and figures despite it being well known these are triggers. Consider the level of mindset that thinks that's OK. When I say avoid the threads, it's not because you shouldn't, it's because they are filled with these compulsive posters.

They may have eating disorders too though. May not be intentionally triggering, rather that they’re being triggered themselves.

I think that MN has a fairly broad demographic when it comes to weight and peoples emotions around weight.

You have people who self regulate their weight well, so go up and down a few pounds for holidays and special occasions, but generally just eat what they need most of the time.

You have people who have to 'be careful' and police their weight quite rigidly without quite crossing into ED thinking.

You have people who have or have previously had ED.

You will have people who are overweight or obese, who try and figure out a way of eating to suit them to reduce their weight. Personally I find processed carbs and alcohol to be my main demons, if I don't eat and drink them I lose weight.
If you are obese your body uses the calories you have already stored if you reduce your calorie intake, so 800 calories isnt 800 calories IYSWIM, it is just the calories and nutrients you are adding to the equation ? If you have body dysmorphia and think you are fat when you don't actually have any of the reserves that an overweight or obese person has, then 800 calories is 800 calories in total give or take a few.

You also have people who are in denial about the number of calories they actually consume and can't understand why they are overweight.

Then you add in the myriad of medications and medical and MH conditions that can have a huge impact on appetite and weight gain.

Think that's covered most people ?

I like the....if you are 5 foot 7 how much do you weigh

Then a ton of people come on and say ooooh 6 stone 12 but I'm aiming to get back to my goal weight of 5 stone 13.

Numpties.

Ignore em op.

I have never counted calories.

For years i didn’t eat. Looked awful. Mum was the generation of 4 meals a day, at home cooking. I loathed eating.

Now i eat when hungry, i still eat 3 meals a day, but rarely snack. Im a healthy 8st 7lb.

Some days im really hungry, some im
Not. Its no big deal.

I don’t think it’s competitive under eating on most threads. It’s more like a pro ana normalising of eating tiny amounts or having a very low bum because we’ve all “lost sight of what a normal weight looks like”.

Low Bmi. Not bum.

Honestly - no. But I don't have a history of eating disorders.

I do think that a person that is triggered by has a duty to themselves to not click on thread that are likely to include talk about .

There is a weight board. I think posts about it should be corralled there. But that's me saying I get fed up with the competitive undereating - now that I do believe is an issue!

(The 'massive salad' was hilarious though tbh! )

My faves are the ones about babies.

OP - my 13 month old is on the 80th centile. Is she fat? This is what she eats:
B: half a slice of toast with half a banana
L: cheese and cucumber on crackers (approx 2)
D: whatever we have (spag bol/fish pie)

Poster 1: Too many carbs. Cut out the banana
Poster 2: cut out the bread
Me: Aaaarrgggghhh, there’s fuck all wrong with your baby, it’s diet or carbohydrates.

@MrsDThomas

I have never counted calories.

For years i didn’t eat. Looked awful. Mum was the generation of 4 meals a day, at home cooking. I loathed eating.

Now i eat when hungry, i still eat 3 meals a day, but rarely snack. Im a healthy 8st 7lb.

Some days im really hungry, some im
Not. Its no big deal.

How on earth is this an answer to the OP's question?!

Oh the dismissal of BMI REALLY boils my piss though.

I suspect that 99% of the women posting on this forum are NOT rugby players, and therefore BMI is a totally reasonable way of categorising them.

I can post to ask if I look fat or not, and even if I don't, it is not helpful to tell a person to completely disregard their BMI.

@PurpleDaisies that was a splendid autocorrect!

@NinjaExodus it's not, it's a perfect example of what @foreverlobsters is talking about and I have changed my mind - if it's not damaging, it's fucking annoying.

There's nothing wrong eith being on 1200 calories if you are overweight and trying to lose s few pounds.

How on earth is this an answer to the OP's question?!

I think it's an excellent example of "There's always one...."

My general rule is this;

If it’s in the ‘weight loss' topic I bite my tongue and move on - you can’t argue with crazy.

If it’s in any other topic I consider it fair game, and will use the term disordered eating and /or recommend The Fuck It Diet book.

I hope youre finding some peace with food OP, it’s wonderful to be able to enjoy it and I wish it wasn’t such hard work for so many people.

I've worked with lots of women. Wonderful, intelligent, witty women but unfortunately the main topic of conversation was always diet. Calories. Weight watchers.
Slimming world. Whatever juice bullshit was popular. Slim women and bigger women - it made no difference. Food was a constant source of discussion/worry. Mumsnet just reflects society really.

@MrsDThomas

I have never counted calories.

For years i didn’t eat. Looked awful. Mum was the generation of 4 meals a day, at home cooking. I loathed eating.

Now i eat when hungry, i still eat 3 meals a day, but rarely snack. Im a healthy 8st 7lb.

Some days im really hungry, some im
Not. Its no big deal.

Self awareness isn't really your strong point is it?

Why are reading them? Take some personal responsibility here. If it triggers you then dont read them!

@foreverlobsters

I think I've just seen the thread you're talking about. A woman under 10 stone saying she feels like a whale because her 1300~ calories and 11k walk is just not good enough according to some people.

They really annoy me too! There was a woman who wanted to wear her wedding dress for a family party after a small ceremony. The dress didn’t completely fasten and the party was about 3 days away. Posters were telling her to effectively starve herself and drink water to stop herself from feeling hungry 🤦‍♀️

@PizzaCrust

The infamous Mumsnet chicken that can last for a week of meals…

After I saw that, nothing surprises me anymore.

Yes, also the one portion of fish and chips between FOUR. I've never got over reading that!

@bonfireheart

Haven't RTFT but avoid any intermittent fasting threads. Users will love to tell you about their 48 hour and 72 hour fasts:/

Or the 80 hour/3.5 day ones with a maximum intake of 800 on the other days (so a total of 2800 calories a week - wouldn't sustain me for more than a day, btw) and complaints that partners are saying they don't need to lose any more weight/dizziness/headaches.

It's over 30 years since my ED was last in full flow. I'm lucky I got out of it with just fucked teeth and it's a flaming miracle that my bone density held up. Yet I still have moments of reading something and thinking 'Oh, I wish I could - Oh, GET A FUCKING GRIP WOMAN' - it's so fucking insidious, the tiniest comment can get me back there, especially when it's repeated and doubled down on by other posters.

I posted on the now disappeared 'what did you have to eat' thread because I think that somebody posting three meals a day is at least a potentially useful counter to the three farts and a puff of wind lists. I'm sure some reading would be sucking their teeth in at the idea of eating as much as I do. At least I'm 'admitting' that I eat, rather than encouraging people to think that nobody eats more than the tiniest morsels every 4th day. And the two bowls of veggie/beans chilli, rice and cheese I had for dinner today were bloody lovely.

@PurpleDaisies

Low Bmi. Not bum.

I have a low bum. A big fat one!

But you can't expect Mumsnet to police every single thing people say. If you were in a group of 20 and 15 of them gave you bad advice, who would you complain to? People have opinions but you have a responsibility to avoid the threads that annoy you. Otherwise where do you stop? There are lots of threads I avoid and just hide if they come up in 'active'.
Also, some people really don't eat very much, me included. It's not disordered, I literally just don't eat very much and weigh 7 stone (I'm early 50's) and have weighed 7 stone since I was 14. It's not a body conscious thing (In fact I'd prefer to weigh more - I know that doesn't make sense to people on a constant diet). I don't weigh myself and I don't eat to maintain my weight. On the flip side, I find it hard to plan what to eat because I can only eat when I'm hungry and usually only eat once a day. I've spent my life being called 'skinny' from very young (thanks mums of my friends when I was 8).
I don't know what the answer is but I just wanted to give a different side to it. I don't find mine or other people's body size/weight something to applaud or be disdainful about but I do know the amount of very derisive and rude comments I've had - out loud, to my face - upsetting. Being called a 'skinny cow' isn't a nice thing and it's hurtful.
I havn't read the threads you referenced and I'm sorry they upset you - I do think, unfortunately, people do competitively under eat but that's a different kettle of fish to people who don't eat very much.

Yanbu

I’ve not had an eating disorder but I have had to lose some weight gained due to steroids when I was unwell for health reasons. I looked into intuitive eating which has served me really well but in my research phase I read of so many people pushing 800-1200 calories a day and cutting out major food groups.

I’m in a weightloss group for friends and a i get so upset when they’re complaining at being a few lbs over ten stone and having lots to lose when I couldn’t even imagine being close to that or when they’re talking about needing to lose 100g (!) - that’s a fart ffs.

I get angry at the commodification of disordered eating and how even medical professionals seem to be pushing it without considering wider implications of doing so. People don’t recognise their own behaviour as disordered.

@WandaVision2

MFP recommended 1200 kcal

Mfp minimum is 1200 kcal. I've used it, on and off, for years, and the lowest I've been recommended is 1350. I'm quite short. The problem comes when 10 stone women want to lose a stone in a month to go on holiday, which is unrealistic without crash dieting, which Mfp doesn't support.