Anyone else ever secretly impressed with how cheeky people can be?

[2ndtimemum2]

Having read another thread where a woman was asked to go 40 minutes out of there way to drop someone elses child to school, or the poor woman who's been asked to give daily injections to her neighbour because her kids couldn't be bothered has gotten me thinking are these people absolutely mental or how are people brazen enough to make these requests?

It seems like a daily occurance where a poster seems to deal with some crazy cf!!! I don't think I'd have the actual nerve or be brazen enough to make some of the ridiculous requests that people have made so I'm secretly impressed that there's these group of people who don't even think twice about these off the wall requests!

[quote Kneesaregood]@Confusedandshaken the laws around adult social care actually have underpinning principles specified in them, which includes that it is the role of family to care for family, and the state should only intervene as a last resort if noone within the family/friends network is able to. The professionals you mention aren't being CFs they're following statutory guidance.[/quote]
Funny how they always approach the younger and middle aged females in the family though isn't it? They NEVER approach the males, when there is at least one female to ask.

Neighbour at our old house.
She seemed nice but we only ever exchanged a hiya, nice weather etc
Never considered her a friend.

One really, rainy afternoon I woke up about 2pm (had been on nights) and thought I'm going to have a day where I don't move off the sofa. Shopping had been delivered
DC playing nicely
DH was decorating the kitchen
Just a really chilled day.

Door knocked. Like a really urgent, loud knock and there was my neighbour. I said " are you okay"

She replied
" yes I'm fine but I have ran out of milk and cigarettes, could you drive me down to sainsburys please because it is raining"

I still can't get over that she did it
And worst still I took her! And I'm no pushover usually.
She never asked again.

My neighbour asked if she could use my stable for her pony who’d had an acute attack of laminitis (nasty horse illness requiring special treatment including v soft deep bedding and special diet), I of course said yes, naively assuming she would turn up regularly to meet his complex needs… the next day she went on holiday for 10 days and told me to liaise with her mum about the pony. No sign of the mum or response from either of them to texts. I looked after the pony for a few days, until his food ran out. After increasingly frantic texts to the mum, I finally got a reply: she told me to get a bale out of a different (and absent) neighbour’s isolated barn . I didn’t want to get a reputation for nicking hay, and had no means of contacting its owner, so did next best thing and put him in my barest field. Owners not happy. ‘Don’t you realise he needs to be stabled’ etc. A bale of hay eventually appeared and he was put back in the stable. No sign of owners for several more days so I fed and watered him. When the cf owner returned from her holiday she had a go at me because there was only a couple of inches of water in the bucket and pony had shat in it. I’d been refilling bucket with clean water daily and tipping out the shit that appeared immediately afterwards, so I pointed out there would be even less water if I hadn’t been looking after him because nobody had come to check on him for days. Poor little bugger.

@2ndtimemum2

Having read another thread where a woman was asked to go 40 minutes out of there way to drop someone elses child to school, or the poor woman who's been asked to give daily injections to her neighbour because her kids couldn't be bothered has gotten me thinking are these people absolutely mental or how are people brazen enough to make these requests?

It seems like a daily occurance where a poster seems to deal with some crazy cf!!! I don't think I'd have the actual nerve or be brazen enough to make some of the ridiculous requests that people have made so I'm secretly impressed that there's these group of people who don't even think twice about these off the wall requests!

Or the one with the cheeky as fuck neighbour telling them to stop having takeaways….. I mean fuck you neighbour! Cheeky twat

What about DD being invited to a birthday party (they were about 6/7).
I knew the mum from a ballet class the girls went to.
I turned up and the mum was v v flustered - she was holding her toddler who had a cold and she didn't feel great.
She handed me a big bag of sweets saying you'd be good at organising the party games (I am a teacher so maybe she thought I could crowd control?!) SO I DID
There were many adults at the party including her DH and her relatives but I did all the games!
I was too to say no!
I should have charged the going rate for a party entertainer!

@DdraigGoch

I recall one job where I offered someone a lift and every day he harangued my with his views on the iniquity of the internal combustion engine and how everyone should be on public transport or bikes. After a week I suggested that he follow his own principles. *@JudgeJ* I can't believe that they lasted a week before you put your foot down. CFs don't last five minutes with me.

I think he caught me in one of my very rare nice periods!!

@MumofSpud

What about DD being invited to a birthday party (they were about 6/7). I knew the mum from a ballet class the girls went to. I turned up and the mum was v v flustered - she was holding her toddler who had a cold and she didn't feel great. She handed me a big bag of sweets saying you'd be good at organising the party games (I am a teacher so maybe she thought I could crowd control?!) SO I DID There were many adults at the party including her DH and her relatives but I did all the games! I was too to say no! I should have charged the going rate for a party entertainer!

This reminds me of our military days when a few of us had young children and we organised our play dates etc. We were asked if we would go to the camp's mother/toddler group because some of the very young Mums were poor at things like songs, games etc, we were almost all teachers so we clearly knew them, (I did A level Maths so the wheels on the bus meant a Mechanics problem to me!). However we went and started some play things at which point all the very young Mums disappeared for a fag and left us to it. We didn't go again.

@WillYouDoTheFandango

There’s one at my work. She’s just very brazen and people go along with it mostly and do as she asks.

I was popping to Aldi on my lunch and asked if anyone needed anything (as you do in an office). She scurried over with a full shopping list, as in a weekly shop and said “Ooh great. Saves me going on the way home. I’ll get my bags for you.”

I just handed the list back and said “Sorry, no. I’m not going for that much.” She just smiled and moved on. Knew she was pushing her look but must have figured it was worth a try.

She still tries other people in the office for favours but never asked me again.

Anyone who would fall for that would need to have a serious word with themselves!

@DamnUserName21

A friend of mine arranged a playdate and get-together with me & DC at the local park. She turned up in her running gear with her DC. Wanting me to babysit her DC so she could go work out. I wouldn't have minded if she'd asked but she'd made out it was a great playdate for the kids and a chance for us to 'catch up!' It was clear I wasn't impressed and she didn't go.

OMG, bad memories of an ex-friend doing this to me. She twice invited me over to her house (about half an hour's drive away) 'to have coffee & catch up'. Both times her daughter turned up with her small child & I was told 'daughter has an emergency & needs to talk right now - you don't mind, do you?' & I was shown into another room with her child & left there to look after said child! Once I was abandoned there for so long that I found my now-ex-friend, said I had to go home & left.

A recruitment agency who rejected me for a job has had the brass neck to ask if I can help them to support a charity by working for free! That’s a hard no from me.

The pony story above reminds me of the time myself and my friend were in the cubs as kids and were knocking on doors offering our 'bob a job' services. There was this one huge house near the village we lived in and we chanced our luck with the owners. They had loads of jobs for us and we got stuck in washing cars, mowing lawns, weeding flower beds, mucking out stables, cleaning the pool, sweeping leaves off the tennis courts, polishing silver and brassware, cleaning out rabbit huts and bagging up compost. We must have been there about four hours and were expecting a really good tip. Once we had exhausted all the tasks the women could think of she finally reached for her purse. We could see the wads of notes in it and started to get excited only for our hearts to sink as she rummaged past the paper and started searching the coins. She quite literally gave us a 'bob' each (5p) and upon seeing our disappointed faces quipped 'well what did you expect, it is bob a job and there's your bob, '. We were about nine years old, the stingey hag.

@ThorsLeftNut I don’t think your MIL is cheeky . I think she wants to see the DGC ( which is nice) but makes it look like helping you so you will agree to it.

Laughing out loud at some of these.
My one is: ds had a nice friend and his mom asked me could he come for a sleepover at the weekend. Said sure. By Sunday afternoon l had heard nothing and as no sign of anyone collecting him l messaged the mom to ask if l should drop him home or were they collecting him. She acted all affronted and said ..we are in Madrid for the weekend..how can we collect him??? Acted as if l was unreasonable. I had absolutely no idea they were out of the country and if there had been any emergency it could have been very awkward.
Much later his au pair turned up!!

some of the asks/requests for help and favours on here are unreal and go beyond just being a CF.

At the moment my friend is massively dropping hints that she needs her 2 daughters collected from school a few times a week and the dogs looked after in the day. This is to enable her to work overtime (which is optional, not compulsory, where she works. She doesnt urgently need the extra money, but any extra money is a help for anyone). I'm not offering, although I suspect she is wanting me to. I work FT and cant even pick my own kids up from school due to working, they have to walk home.

I have never ever asked her for a favour, except once when I asked if she could feed the cats for 2 days while I was away. She ignored the message but replied to others I sent that same day about other stuff.

Some days I feel totally used by her.

@WhatsTheBFD

I’ve never experienced a CF, DBro and I were discussing this a few weeks ago. He says it’s because I have a “Fuck Off Face” and that’s why people don’t even bother

I'm pretty sure I have a 'fuck off' face too. I've even had tat sellers at tourist sites in India back off and try someone else when I've given them a look.

I have a natural tendency to not agree to anything without checking my schedule first, so that generally gives me time to head off CFs.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say, there is currently a low level CF in my neighbourhood. Young mum in her 30s, (who moved in over the road in March, with 2 kids - aged 7, and 14.)

When she has taken her kids to school, she goes into her house, and goes into her bedroom and closes the curtains. Whether she's asleep or just watching TV/on the computer I have no idea, but there have been multiple occasions over the past few months where she has had a parcel delivery, and she has not answered the door.

So the delivery driver knocks on the doors of her closest neighbours, and drops it off there. Then a few hours later, (sometimes that evening, sometimes the next day,) the neighbour takes it round to her ... She NEVER goes to get it.

When she moved in, I was one of the first to say hello to her and say 'welcome to the area.' After she had been here for 3 or 4 weeks, a big parcel came for her from a catalogue, (a package half the height and width of a door, and about 3 foot in depth.) The delivery driver could barely carry it.

He came to my door, and said 'can you take this for number 7? They're in but they're not answering' I said 'hmm I don't know, what is it?' Long story short, the woman had allocated ME to be the go-to place for her catalogue parcel delivery if she isn't in, or doesn't answer the door...

I took it that once, but that was the first and last time. I said to him 'I will take it this time, but please remove me as an allocated drop off. I work from home, and cannot be taking packages for people .. I never volunteered this, so I don't know why I have been allocated as a drop-off point.'

Cheeky or what? Getting the delivery driver to dump her shit on me because she couldn't be arsed to answer the door! She didn't even come for the parcel, I had to take it around to her - 2 days later! For a couple of months after that, when I saw a delivery driver pull up outside her house, I moved away from the front window and wouldn't answer the door if someone knocked it.

I do see a couple of other neighbours taking stuff around to her though. So it seems she has found a couple of patsys.

My ex DH, who had just announced he was leaving - leaving me and 2 DC blindsided and devastated - asked when he knew I was going to the shops if I would pick up some things for his and OW's flat.

@ThorsLeftNut

Do you not think maybe your MIL genuinely thinks she's helping you? I know I would appreciate an offer of childcare to go out with DH. You don't have to be miserable in the action to be doing a good thing.

For example I recently helped out with an event that provided an amazing experience for very sick children and their families. Part of my choice to volunteer was undoubtedly because I knew I would have fun and enjoy it. But I wasn't doing it because I would enjoy it - if it had been the same event but for a different reason; people bought tickets say, there is no way I would be volunteering to help them run it.

My father enjoys my children's company, but enjoys it even more when their parents are also there to make lunch for them etc. I'm not saying that this is the case for your MIL, she may enjoy having them to herself more, just that I'm not convinced by the level of CFy she's displaying in her offer compared with other CFs on the thread.

xx

I used to be a doormat. No more! One mum kept ring me for lifts for kid. Boss had given her extra money to open shop or stay late (retail) while she used everyone around her. It was all take take. I dont help people since that

I have to be honest here. We had really good neighbours who we requested to look after our house when we were gone and water our plants. They were fabulous and went over and above what we had requested them to do. We did try to reciprocate but the thing is no one can repay the favour what some one had done for you when you needed it. We are ever so grateful to them but we never asked it out of entitlement or thought that they had to help us. They were just really good neighbours and I hope that we are able to help our neighbours in that way too.

On the other hand, the a lady friend of mine who asked for my NI number and details so that her husband can open an ISA for them in my name was definitely a CF. Funny thing is that she started blanking me when she saw me outside after I point blank refused to give them to her. I am a nice person but not stupid.

@NannyGythaOgg

I had a call, at around midnight, from a (now ex) friend, who had just landed at the airport having returned from 2 weeks in the sun.

Would I go to her house (about 3 miles away) and put the heating on so it would be warm when she got home.

I told her 'No - I'm in bed and was just falling asleep'. 'Well you are awake now; and it would only take you 10 mins - you don't even need to get dressed, you can put your coat on top of your nightwear'. 'You must be joking - I'm not doing that' I replied. 'Huh, some friend you are she said'.

I put the phone down and went to sleep. I never heard from her again. I wasn't sorry.

Good grief. More front that freaking Harrods.

than, not that.

@pombear4949

some of the asks/requests for help and favours on here are unreal and go beyond just being a CF.

At the moment my friend is massively dropping hints that she needs her 2 daughters collected from school a few times a week and the dogs looked after in the day. This is to enable her to work overtime (which is optional, not compulsory, where she works. She doesnt urgently need the extra money, but any extra money is a help for anyone). I'm not offering, although I suspect she is wanting me to. I work FT and cant even pick my own kids up from school due to working, they have to walk home.

I have never ever asked her for a favour, except once when I asked if she could feed the cats for 2 days while I was away. She ignored the message but replied to others I sent that same day about other stuff.

Some days I feel totally used by her.

I never pick up hints . I become really dim when someone tries to drop them. They can ask me straight out or not at all.

@DillonPanthersTexas

I had a neighbour years ago who would frequently ask to 'borrow a glass of wine' , supposedly for cooking. I used to keep a box of wine for cooking purposes and she knew this. Problem is that she was asking at least once a week, it just annoyed me. There was a shop at the end of the road but she just asked me all the time. It was not the cost of it, just the laziness that annoyed me. Eventually bought a few bottles of blue nun and started to decant those into the glass instead, strangely she stopped asking.

I would have used vinegar.

Wow some of these! Astounding what people will ask.

I have a lot of friends, and we are all very similar mindset, and same levels of generosity, we take it in turns to host Sunday dinner, feed the pets due to holidays, pick up parcels/shopping or do lifts etc but it’s not expected and it’s a level playing field.

One of those friends worked out I stopped working Thursday afternoons (I have flexi time) and she started asking if I could collect her DD from school, I did it a couple of times but as I noticed it was becoming weekly not a favour, I just said no and that was that! I don’t think it was CF, more just she assumed I had the time which I did, but I stopped working Thursday afternoons for myself not to babysit!

My biggest CF is the fact I have two horses, and the amount of people who expect me to let them come down with their kids for a free Saturday of entertainment not realising these are competition sports horses and not donkeys on a beach so no your 5 year old who’s ridden at centre parks cannot ride my 16.2 warm blood who will deck anyone at the drop of a hat. I get so many sulky faces when I refuse, and pleading of but I told so and so they could come down and ride! Well here’s the local riding school it’s £25 for half an hour ride off you pop my love!

Again I don’t think it’s total CF, I think people just think I want to share and horses are all easy like you see on the TV! X