Page 10 | Anyone else ever secretly impressed with how cheeky people can be?

Yespresh · 14/09/2021 17:36

My Mum wants a toothbrush from Aldi. It’s a 90 minute round trip to hers. It’s going in the post if she really cant think of anything else I need to shop for

Dibbydoos · 14/09/2021 17:39

[quote honeylulu]@Sparklesocks has it.

"A" type people are not at all unusual. For some unknown reason they consider themselves special and that ordinary folk will be honoured to bestow them with favours.[/quote]
I think you mean narcissists hun not A types. A types are those who take on so much they look like super heroes when they pull things off. Conversely they suffer from bad stress.

I'm an A type, I don't often ask for help cos I think I can do anything. I sometimes surprise myself and others too

anon666 · 14/09/2021 17:39

This is why I watch Shameless, to remind myself of the sheer brass neck of some people.

wildchild554 · 14/09/2021 17:49

Going off some of this thread, my friend and I must both be CF's we both do this with each other all the time and with my neighbours, only I don't class it as CF but helping each other out. I'd only class it that way if someone constantly took help they asked for but when asked and I mean something tiny that you knew they could help with but couldn't be bothered and refused to help you. Now that in my eye's is a real CF. Hence why I'm no longer available when those ones want help.

mumda · 14/09/2021 17:50

I've had two people ask to borrow money in the last few months. One I know vaguely. The other I've known for years but we're Facebook friends now rather than proper friends.
I politely declined both.

Elizabethmac · 14/09/2021 17:50

We were on a cruise doing our laundry when another passenger came in with a bag of laundry and asked me hers into the machine when my laundry was done! She was off to breakfast! Not happening! I just left it by the washing machine. Ugh!

Vynalbob · 14/09/2021 17:51

omg, just don't this could go down hill quickly.... invent an elderly great aunt that you have to pay care home fees for, say your car's conked out and you won't be able to take X to school.... anything be imaginative but this is not good.

If you've already had enough and want to be brutal and finish the 'friendship' but don't have the heart I'm sure you probably know at least one person who'd do it for you..... maybe be there at a certain time so they can chip in and say are you always such a CFer.
Good luck 🍀🍀🍀🍀

Madremia2019 · 14/09/2021 18:06

I always have a CF friend around, is like they can smell my good nature. One CF call me to ask if I could drive her and her kids to the airport once, told her that my car was too small to take her and her kids as I don’t have any childcare for my own kids would have to take my kids too, she went on to say that I could drop my kids at her friend house that her friend would watch my kids for me so I could take her to airport! Bear in mind her friend also drives .
Didn’t took long to get rid of her.

LaurenKelsey · 14/09/2021 18:08

I have a friend who is from a different culture, an extremely good mum. Apparently a CF noticed this at school and decided to take advantage of her. This stranger asked my friend to watch her 5 year old son while she was gone on holiday for a week! My friend, who hadn’t been here long, agreed thinking this must be something acceptable in our culture! So for more than a week my friend fed, bathed and clothed this child while mum was off on a holiday overseas. She never even called to ask if her son was doing okay!

lilstarr99 · 14/09/2021 18:09

@Nevermakeit

I wonder if some of the people who then complain about having to do it, do actually offer to do it in the first place. I doubt people march up and demand favours of them out of the blue. I think the people doing the favours offer, as they think it's the 'thing to do', and then get resentful when they are taken up on the offer. I don't offer anything to anyone who isn't a close friend, or someone I very much trust, and any offer I make is carefully considered - so then I am not resentful if people take me up on it.

In some cases perhaps, but I’ve witnessed CF and entitlement first hand. A mutual friend was always the one being asked, because CF had asked me and got a no.

Examples are turning up at all hours with her kids - one of whom is quite destructive with SEN and hang around until dinner then expecting the whole brood to be fed. Always getting mutual friend to post stuff for sale on FB or EBay, Babysitting all the time and on and on.

She’s very forthright and almost won’t take no for an answer. There’s no offering from mutual friend, it’s always demanded/expected that she’ll do whatever she wants!

Harmonypuss · 14/09/2021 18:09

I 'used to' have a friend who once called me to go over and open a jar despite me living 6 miles away, Needless to say I told her to ask her daughter (who she lives with) or her neighbour.
We went on holiday a couple of times and on one occasion she asked if her daughter could come. That was fine until she then 'told me' the daughter's friend was also coming.
We were staying in a caravan and I was doing all the driving as no-one else could drive. The daughter's friend lived 36 miles away (in the opposite direction) and I was expected to collect her and deliver her back home after the holiday but was assured that at least my fuel costs would be covered.
The holiday was a disaster, I got less than 1hr sleep each night, I was relegated to the pull-out sofa whilst everyone else got comfy beds. The day we were coming home there was an enormous argument and everyone sat silent in the car after all 3 of them threatened to get the train back then had to eat humble pie because the rail fare was extortionate. By the time I'd dropped everyone home and got home myself I'd been in the car for 14hrs (accidents and roadworks on m5) and the fuel costs for the whole trip had amounted to £140. My 'friend' gave me £20 towards it and I was given nothing by the daughter or her friend.
I was ill for 9 days after the trip, then was told that I was being unreasonable asking for more money for the fuel. Oh yes, the caravan had been paid for 50:50 by me and my friend (she's retired and I'm disabled on benefits), the daughter and her friend (both in their 30s with good jobs) contributed nothing.

I started this post with "I 'used to' have a friend", needless to say, after the above behaviour I knocked this on the head pretty quick despite having known her for almost 30yrs.

OVienna · 14/09/2021 18:16

@2ndtimemum2

Having read another thread where a woman was asked to go 40 minutes out of there way to drop someone elses child to school, or the poor woman who's been asked to give daily injections to her neighbour because her kids couldn't be bothered has gotten me thinking are these people absolutely mental or how are people brazen enough to make these requests?

It seems like a daily occurance where a poster seems to deal with some crazy cf!!! I don't think I'd have the actual nerve or be brazen enough to make some of the ridiculous requests that people have made so I'm secretly impressed that there's these group of people who don't even think twice about these off the wall requests!

No. But I am really, really impressed with myself when I tell them to f' off. I feel like 'Where's my OSCAR?' when I do it. It took a long time to get to this place and it's painful having to watch my daughters learn it for themselves, for certain situations.

HyacynthBucket · 14/09/2021 18:24

I don't usually meet Cfs. One exception is on planes when travelling alone or with DP. Several times I have been asked to move seats, even ones prebooked, so that a couple can sit together or a family don't have to sit either side of an aisle. I don't mind the request but there is nearly always an entitled assumption that of course I am going to move because their comfort is more important than mine. Once or twice I have declined, and had to put up with a lot of whining and complaining, and made to feel like a monster, as though it was their right.

speakout · 14/09/2021 18:27

I have never experoenced any of this- I can;t remember a single unreasonable request.
Maybe I just have a resting bitch face............

JudgeJ · 14/09/2021 18:28

@mumda

I've had two people ask to borrow money in the last few months. One I know vaguely. The other I've known for years but we're Facebook friends now rather than proper friends. I politely declined both.

Years ago, when we were working abroad earning good money, we got a letter from a friend, the wife, asking if we could co-sign for a loan. As I was just about to stop work to have our first baby we said we were unable to do so as we didn't know how things would pan out on one income. Fast forward about 5 years, back in the UK, the husband turned up at our house in a dreadful state, they'd split up, she'd been seeing a few other men and she had racked up a huge amount of debt. I said I hope our unwillingness to help out years earlier hadn't contributed and he was astonished, he knew nothing about her letter but she had dropped a lot of their friends in the mire.

MissConductUS · 14/09/2021 18:30

@HyacynthBucket

I don't usually meet Cfs. One exception is on planes when travelling alone or with DP. Several times I have been asked to move seats, even ones prebooked, so that a couple can sit together or a family don't have to sit either side of an aisle. I don't mind the request but there is nearly always an entitled assumption that of course I am going to move because their comfort is more important than mine. Once or twice I have declined, and had to put up with a lot of whining and complaining, and made to feel like a monster, as though it was their right.

This used to happen to me when I was traveling more often. I always get an aisle seat when flying. I'm willing to trade for another aisle seat, but nothing else. I don't recall anyone complaining though when I've said no.

Simcat · 14/09/2021 18:33

@ThorsLeftNut
I get what your saying but I’d be very happy if either of my parents or in-laws offered to have kids. Maybe they actually think they are really doing you a favour.
My parents believe… your kids- you bring them up. They only come to ours to see them and never on their own and that was also how their parents were. But they are very loving and do love e kids but it’s just not their way :-(
I get jealous when I see grandparents taking kids out even if you can see grandparents aren’t enjoying it as much as they should 😂

Blueraccoon · 14/09/2021 18:34

I bumped into someone I had worked with a few years previously. She invited me round to hers one evening for a catch up. Conversation got round to a new business venture she and her husband were getting into in property development. Problem was they didn’t have enough money. Did I have any money I would like to invest in their business she asked. Sorry, no. Then she said what about my mum, did I think she would remortgage her home to give me the money to invest in their business.
Er, no! Fuck off and ask your own extremely wealthy parents to remortgage their home, why don’t you, and leave my mum alone!

Bobsyer · 14/09/2021 18:34

I love reading the stories partly because they are so bizarre to me. I don’t know if I just only know reasonable people or if I’ve got the type of personality that screams ‘don’t even ask’!

keffie12 · 14/09/2021 18:35

I have an acquaintance 20 years plus who I called a friend back then, which she wasn't.

She was and still is if she can get away with it everyone friend and no one friend.

Total user, plays victim, totally self absorbed etc however I couldn't see it back then.

I won't go in to the whole back story as its too long and potentiality outing. Briefly

I left the ex back then (21 years ago) from a very abusive marriage. It took a couple of years to get my adult youngsters now and our lives on track. I had alot of various therapy.

My 2nd husband didn't like or trust her. He was right and as I got better I could see it. I backed right away from her appropriately so I didn't get aggro as she is a vindictive type

Three years ago my 2nd husband past away unexpectedly. She never even sent a message saying I'm sorry for your loss. Not that I wanted it. I'm saying to show how cheeky f some are re next paragraph on.

Just after my husband funeral she started messaging me on Facetime wanting me to ring her to talk about all her stuff etc. She kept messaging me ordering me to ring her snd asking why I was ignoring her 🙄

I wasn't interested. I ignored the continuous messages and eventually stuck them in my spam box.

She still doesn't get it. Her youngsters have backed away from her too. I saw her daughter a while ago who asked why I didn't why her Mom anymore.

I appropriately told her that I had nothing in common with her anymore and hadn't had for a long time which is true

I'm just glad I'm out of it. I shake my head when I look back about how I was before I left the ex and why I thought she was a friend. She was a user tutn and she has got worse

Wineandroses3 · 14/09/2021 18:37

I can only think of one example where I’ve been the victim of a CF. I had started at halls of residence at University, my auntie lived in the same city but the other side of the city, but now and again I would go and stay with her whilst I was at Uni and she would cook for me and do a bit of washing for me which I really appreciated. One day I told the girl who I was in halls with (who I didn’t really like cos she was really selfish) that I was going to see my auntie (she was aware that I took my washing to my aunties as I didn’t use the Uni launderette as much as she did) then she said oh hang on a minute and went back into her room and brought an open black bin liner out full of her dirty washing, I still remember seeing her dirty knickers and screwed up thongs inside the bag 🤮She asked me if my auntie could do her washing/drying! Anyway, I took the bin liner on the bus with me to my aunties, I was only about 20 so not experienced in how to deal with CFs. I told my auntie what had happened and she had a chat with me and nicely told me that this girl was one cheeky bitch and she’s not doing her washing, that she did mine cos I’m her niece and that my mum would do the same for my cousins etc. Anyway, I had to take the bag of dirty washing back to her, she wasn’t impressed 😆

SpiderinaWingMirror · 14/09/2021 18:42

Some people find it hard so say no.
Others just ask. When the 2 meet it gets awkward

Carpedimum · 14/09/2021 18:51

I was awestruck by the level of CFery by another mother at my DC’s primary school. We called her Alpha Mummy (only me & DP). She would literally bark out daily orders to her flock of followers who were daft enough to comply. She’d loudly refer to people like this: “Someone from my circle will collect Persephone from the party” then they’d ‘volunteer’! It was astonishing. “My husband wants Shepherds Pie for dinner, but I just haven’t got time to be peeling potatoes!” (SAHM) Then some idiot under her spell would say “I can make you one & drop it round for you”. I worked with someone close to her who volunteered the fact that she thought they were all desperate to be her friend because she was the most beautiful and influential parent in the playground!

Amitskitshaw · 14/09/2021 18:52

@pombear4949

Ive got a friend who has asked me to : walk their dog look after their dog at my house water their flowers while away pick up their kid/drop off to school baby sit borrow money borrow random things go food shopping for them feed their cats while away help with their gardening help wallpaper their bedroom take stuff to the local tip with them pick up furniture they brought off ebay There's other stuff but its too outing. ..Im a working mum with 3 kids, a home to run, and a team of 15 to manage at work

I could be your friend!!! Those are the kind of things I ask my friends for help with but also that I do for them too. Isn’t that called helping each other?

FreshFreesias · 14/09/2021 18:52

@Harmonypuss Dreadful! But why did you drive them all home after the way they’d treated you?!