Anyone else ever secretly impressed with how cheeky people can be?

[2ndtimemum2]

Having read another thread where a woman was asked to go 40 minutes out of there way to drop someone elses child to school, or the poor woman who's been asked to give daily injections to her neighbour because her kids couldn't be bothered has gotten me thinking are these people absolutely mental or how are people brazen enough to make these requests?

It seems like a daily occurance where a poster seems to deal with some crazy cf!!! I don't think I'd have the actual nerve or be brazen enough to make some of the ridiculous requests that people have made so I'm secretly impressed that there's these group of people who don't even think twice about these off the wall requests!

I wonder if some of the people who then complain about having to do it, do actually offer to do it in the first place.
I doubt people march up and demand favours of them out of the blue. I think the people doing the favours offer, as they think it's the 'thing to do', and then get resentful when they are taken up on the offer.
I don't offer anything to anyone who isn't a close friend, or someone I very much trust, and any offer I make is carefully considered - so then I am not resentful if people take me up on it.

I know a couple who are pretty wealthy and fairly recently bought a new house.

As mentioned, they are wealthy. They somehow managed to persuade their "lovely friends" to help them plant 80 trees for free (well, a takeaway and a beer). They are LOADED and could easily pay someone to do it for them.

But I am quite impressed with the sheer brazen confidence.

@TillyTopper

It is rare I come across these CF people myself, but I did once when my DS were at school. I'm still gobsmacked by it!

A mum from school asked me if me and my 2 DS wanted a picnic by the river. We said yes that would be good with her and her 2 DS so they could play together. We agreed we'd each bring our own sandwiches/drinks etc and meet there. They boys would play in the river. All good.

On the day she called me 30 mins beforehand saying she was so sorry but she was caught up and running late would I mind getting her some picnic food for her and her DS and she'd pay me when she got there. It was a bit of hassle because I'd already prepared my stuff, but I said ok and got it ready. We went down to the river and - she dropped off her kids.... and drove off! Her DS came over and found us, I asked where their mum was and they said they didn't know! I called her and no answer... She turned up 4 hours later to pick her kids up, I asked where'd she been and said it was so much ££ for the picnic and she said she had no money! Picked up her kids and went. The kids did have a good afternoon though!

OMG! I would be fuming, how did you keep your composure?

@YouTubeAddict we have one of those but on a public street. She is also has mental health issues and at least three times a year when someone parks in "her space" she will walk up and down the street screaming in a horrifying guttural voice WHOSE FUCKING (whatever car) IS PARKED IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE? GET IT FUCKING MOVED BEFORE I BASH THE WINDOWS IN!
Of course no one comes outside but the police are called and everyone's peering from their windows while they calm her down. Always a great time. We call her Crazy Cones, though she now uses old flower pots/folding chairs/pieces of wood because whenever she gets new cones I immediately report her to the council and they get collected 😹

I think it’s worse when they phrase it as helping YOU out.

My MIL constantly says she’ll ‘have the grandkids because you need a break’ or ‘I’ll take the kids if you want to do something with X’ when really she should just say ‘I’d love to spend the day with the grandkids’
I don’t know why but it totally pisses me off 😂

A mum from school asked me if me and my 2 DS wanted a picnic by the river. We said yes that would be good with her and her 2 DS so they could play together. We agreed we'd each bring our own sandwiches/drinks etc and meet there. They boys would play in the river. All good.

On the day she called me 30 mins beforehand saying she was so sorry but she was caught up and running late would I mind getting her some picnic food for her and her DS and she'd pay me when she got there. It was a bit of hassle because I'd already prepared my stuff, but I said ok and got it ready. We went down to the river and - she dropped off her kids.... and drove off! Her DS came over and found us, I asked where their mum was and they said they didn't know! I called her and no answer... She turned up 4 hours later to pick her kids up, I asked where'd she been and said it was so much ££ for the picnic and she said she had no money! Picked up her kids and went. The kids did have a good afternoon though!

I would have sent her a text that if she didn't appear pronto that I would reporting her to the police for suspected child abandonment.

@Nevermakeit - you're right about these offers breeding resentment. I'm a bit of a people pleaser but as I've gotten older - and wiser, I think carefully about making offers. In the past I definitely got taken advantage of.

I'd prefer someone to ask me outright tbh rather than the folk that drop hints waiting for help to be offered.
I'm good at saying no to a direct request, but the hinting drives me bonkers. Just ask ffs!

An acquaintance once rang the Primary school and left a message to say I'd be taking her DC home that day as she had to work late. Only problem was, she hadn't spoken to me! If she had, I would have told her I couldn't do it as I had an appointment and had already arranged for a friend to collect my DC from school. First I knew about it was when I pulled up outside my friend's house to collect my DC only to be confronted by her NDN (another school mum) chastising me as I was supposed to have collected this other child who had been left at school.

The birthday party thread today (Siblings turning up uninvited) reminded me of someone who, having given her disgusted a present at her birthday party, emailed me to say that the child already had one of these items. Could I please take it back, exchange it for something else, or better still provide a voucher instead.

I've had CF's ask me stuff. I stand there and stare at them. I don't mean a littlle bit' I stare at them like Begpie from Trainspotting like i'm on the verge of loosing it. They either walk off or say 'are you alright?' to which I reply - 'I'm quietly judging you' Just like Tom Cruise from the movie, Magnolia. It works every single bloody time.

I think it's that there is a high chance a lot of the "CF" threads are made up

[quote honeylulu]@Sparklesocks has it.

"A" type people are not at all unusual. For some unknown reason they consider themselves special and that ordinary folk will be honoured to bestow them with favours.[/quote]

I have many stories about cf exSil's awful behaviour and he once told me that she doesn't need to make any effort to speak to me (in my own home when we were hosting) her presence was her making more than enough effort! 🤣

Some people are very good at "reading" other people, and can suss a soft touch out easily. A couple of years ago, I was walking across my local supermarket car park, and a young man in his 20's appeared from nowhere, asking me for money, this was the jist of his approach:
" Could you help me out, I've not eaten for 3 days, and I've just been beaten up, I need something to eat".
I had a £2 coin in my hand which I handed to him, he grunted, took the money, and in a split second, absolutely sprinted off to a grey car which was parked outside the supermarket atm, and handed something to the driver, who handed the young man a small brown paper package, the size of an envelope. I thought weed, maybe, and he just needed a "top up" for money he already had, but there wasn't a mark on him, considering he'd been "beaten up" and he looked reasonably well dressed, he was just waiting for a soft touch to come along.

My dad. We were having dinner at a posh hotel and there was an orchestra playing as we ate. My dad asked the waiter if he could ask them to play more quietly. He wasn’t joking.

I seem to be a magnet for CFery.

I need to work out what it is about me that makes people think they can get away with it.

Then i need to think about WHY I let them get away with it.

I had one just this past weekend which I cannot even explain without it sounding utterly ridiculous.

Brazen is the word. I wonder if they start off small then unchallenged get cheekier. It’s a certain world should revolve around me/pincessy sense of entitlement.

I think sometimes once people realise you're a soft touch/way too nice/a bit of a people pleaser, CF-ery can just escalate. The brazenness is almost admirable. I had one ex-friend who once asked if I could babysit her kids one evening so she could have a night out. No problem. Then it turned into could they have a sleepover at mine so she didn't have to rush home. Fine, they all got on, no problem. Then asked if she could actually drop them after lunch rather than early evening. Er, OK, of course. Then she arrived to drop them off and asked if she could borrow a pricey jacket of mine to wear out (she had no jacket with her, it was winter, she was expecting me to say yes). I did indeed say yes. Then she didn't collect the kids until lunchtime the next day as she had a hangover. Jacket was stained. And it later turned out that she'd been out with mutual friends, but hadn't told me about the plans, presumably because she needed me to be 24-hour childcare rather than joining them... She's no longer a friend, for much worse transgressions!

I think it stems from the current overly-nice culture of "just let me know if you need anything" and "it's ok not to be ok". People think others will automatically go out of their way for them.

A lot of the CF threads do sound made up tbh. The meat pie woman thread, which was on here the other day and got deleted is a prime example. At least...I assume it was made up! Mad if not.

CF I've met IRL are usually childcare CFs. Asking the odd favour of even reciprocating and babysitting for each other is one thing. I remember a mum asking the whole parents' WhatsApp group if someone would watch her DC every day during the week, so she could work. Maybe she was asking for a childminder recommendation, but the way it was not far from, "well one of you is just going to have to look after her. Who's it going to be"? As if we should be thrilled to do it! She has a job which she thinks is really important, and I honestly think she thought she would be doing us all a favour by going to work, so one of us complete strangers would gladly do her childcare 🤣. Quite funny and I think she'll probably look back some day and be . Don't think she is a habitual CF just maybe a bit PFB about her DC and also a wee bit self important re her career.

They’re CFS because enough people must say yes. Or just go along with it.

I know I should say no and I think my friend plays on that. eg how do I say no I cannot take your child to school when I'm going that way myself to drop my own kids off.

Sometimes, I think that MN was probably invented so that lovely kind CNN people who get taken advantage of, can learn to say ' sorry , no, that doesn't work for me'.

The minute you give a reason why not, you have agreed that it is just a negotiation where, if the other B person can overcome any obstacles you put in their way, they win.

Just.say.no

It is so liberating. And it is still entirely up to you, if you really want to, to offer to help out at some future time and/or someone else.

There is so much pressure in women to be 'nice' that they are easy prey. just.say.no

"I'm not even mad. That's amazing"

@2ndtimemum2

Having read another thread where a woman was asked to go 40 minutes out of there way to drop someone elses child to school, or the poor woman who's been asked to give daily injections to her neighbour because her kids couldn't be bothered has gotten me thinking are these people absolutely mental or how are people brazen enough to make these requests?

It seems like a daily occurance where a poster seems to deal with some crazy cf!!! I don't think I'd have the actual nerve or be brazen enough to make some of the ridiculous requests that people have made so I'm secretly impressed that there's these group of people who don't even think twice about these off the wall requests!

No.

It would be like being secretly impressed at how violent a drunk thug was who beat up another bloke in the pub. Or to be secretly impressed at how dishonest the PM is, or how callous Priti Patel is.

The way it was worded was not far from*