Anyone else ever secretly impressed with how cheeky people can be?

[2ndtimemum2]

Having read another thread where a woman was asked to go 40 minutes out of there way to drop someone elses child to school, or the poor woman who's been asked to give daily injections to her neighbour because her kids couldn't be bothered has gotten me thinking are these people absolutely mental or how are people brazen enough to make these requests?

It seems like a daily occurance where a poster seems to deal with some crazy cf!!! I don't think I'd have the actual nerve or be brazen enough to make some of the ridiculous requests that people have made so I'm secretly impressed that there's these group of people who don't even think twice about these off the wall requests!

ever heard the term sociopath?there's alot of them about & they specialise in making others do things for them.usually lazy narccisists.
Mostly though ,if your basically kind & willing-chances are someone will take the piss,because they're not & think you rather weak.Dont lose the goodness-just lose the takers.

Not me, but a friend was asked to look after a mutual friends baby for fifteen days, while they went to Thailand.
The baby was only 6 weeks old!
Enormous pressure was put on my friend as she does love babies, but ffs. Apparently no family members were available as they were going to Thailand too!
They didn’t want to take the baby, saying it would spoil the trip.
They didn’t speak again for years, in fact I think never.

I've slowly weaned out "friends" who I thought were cheeky.
I'm always busy - always doing something, normally for other people aside from the everyday grind. This one friend (our parents have been friends for years, so I've known this girl 27 years) she's a few years younger than me. Whenever she wants a favours, like I don't know put a picture up on the wall it'll be "when you get two minutes, can you pop in and put a picture up for me" I just kind of fob it off until its not mentioned. Now I don't mind helping ANYBODY - but this "friend" lives an hour and a half from me! I do pop there every few months for a couple of hours but there is no "popping" in. She also only just moved and always expects me to just move her - because I have a van for my business. No thought that I have to empty that van. I've moved her once and she's talking of moving again and hasn't even been in her place a year.
Another thing she done was before getting this flat, she worked out her money (she doesn't work) and quite literally said to me if me or another friend of hers could give her 80 pounds a month she could get by on her benefits with this flat - I don't give her the money by the way. The list is endless with her.

I had this last night.
CF friend messaged at midnight and acknowledged that she knew she owed me money (we’re on month 10 now without any intention to pay it back) then went on to ask for a further £50.
No hello, not even a fucking please.
I absolutely believe most of the CF threads are real.

My friend considers it a super power to be a brazen CF with zero shits to give. Friend might be right

If its give and take but not all 1 sided. People are so brazen

@ThePearSquare

I had this last night. CF friend messaged at midnight and acknowledged that she knew she owed me money (we’re on month 10 now without any intention to pay it back) then went on to ask for a further £50. No hello, not even a fucking please. I absolutely believe most of the CF threads are real.

Send her your filled in copy of the form for small claims court. You'll get your money back in seconds without having to apply to the court AND never hear from her again. Win win!!! So passive aggressive "I know I owe you x million but could you please, pwetty please give me another 50? No. Fuck off

It's the frog in the hot water concept. Most CF don't start of massive favours. First it's small, then it gets larger and then people have invested time into the relationship so don't see a way out as this is the way it is now. This is amplified if in a group of friends if ones always asking and others see not say no.

Friend of mine has been asked to babysit new born up to toddler multiple times (never reciprocated) so the couple can have date nights ect as the friend loudly complains they are alone with no help (which isn't true). Clean her kitchen and generally tidy up whilst looking after baby and the house is a bomb sight

Used her washing machine and (all of her laundry stuff (laundry power and softener) multiple times and finished it on several occasions without telling anyone. Not one bag of clothes, I mean 4 people's worth of dirty laundry for a month so about 8 bags each "go"

She's one of those people who host a dinner party and asks everyone to bring something and doesn't make anything herself . Then complains when it's not the right bread (we only eat the Tesco's finest range) and actually produces a list of ingredients they need and any extras they are missing just for general day to day usually extra £20 of items that aren't for dinner party.

To fix their car for free (her husbands mechanic) and to only pay for parts, then once parts were ordered started questioning the price of the parts via google and asked for broken down invoice from each of suppliers, when that wasn't enough she then said they didn't have the money for the parts (my friend husband had paid upfront for them) her friend then said can we pay instalments, paid once and never paid again and complained the car could only be worked on weekend and they needed it ideally the day after it was given to be fixed.

List of toys to buy for kids for Christmas and where they can be purchased not cheap places either £40 being the cheapest 😵‍💫 and to return the favour my friend children got free bag from a magazine.

I actually don't know how she puts up with it. The friend on question tends to fall out with people a lot when they stand up to her, so my friend feels sorry for her and is completely oblivious

Someone asked me to take a day off work to look after her baby while she got her hair cut. She wasn't a single parent!. I'm a teacher

I’m disabled and was once told to get out of a disability parking space by another disabled woman because she wanted to park there, this was in an IKEA car park and they have lots of disability parking bays, I told her to piss off, cheeky entitled cow.

The friend on question tends to fall out with people a lot

This is almost always a red flag, as is only having very recent or very old friends (e.g. schoolfriends who may have known someone before they unleashed their inner CF).

I'm in no way a CF but probably came over like that once. It was my birthday and I was at dinner with about 10 friends. I burst out childishly that they should have brought me presents (none of them had, though I always took for similar birthday dinners, and I rarely celebrated my own).

It was CF, but the backstory was that I was mid 30s, single, no DC and had had my fill of giving baby and wedding presents in recent years, and thought people should do a bit of pay-back in terms of giving me gifts on my only gift-receiving occasion as there was no sight of me getting married or having DC (which I was pretty upset about in general so made my drunken self-pity at being presentless worse).

@pombear4949

Ive got a friend who has asked me to : walk their dog look after their dog at my house water their flowers while away pick up their kid/drop off to school baby sit borrow money borrow random things go food shopping for them feed their cats while away help with their gardening help wallpaper their bedroom take stuff to the local tip with them pick up furniture they brought off ebay There's other stuff but its too outing. ..Im a working mum with 3 kids, a home to run, and a team of 15 to manage at work

Does she do similar for you if you're away?

I do have a group of friends & we all do the flower watering/cat feeding stuff for each other while we're away.

Looks like the inverse of this that really needs addressing is how accommodating people can be. From politeness, to not wanting to cause a scene. Is it a particularly British thing, even in these times, I wonder?

Brilliant.... Love it, wouldn't manage to say it but would certainly think it..

It's all what you consider part of the everyday give and take of life. My NDN of 27 years asks politely if I would water her greenhouse when it's hot and she's away doing something else; I always do it. If I wanted her to do me a good turn in exchange, she would. But we don't trespass into big favours, because we are not friends, only friendly. But in a crisis, I would be perfectly happy to take a list and do her supermarket shop or drive her/DH to hospital, or babysit a visiting grandchild if another was ill.

@XingMing then neither you nor she are a CF if there is reciprocity.

I don’t know why it’s so hard to understand - a CF is not your mate who sometimes has your kids and you sometimes have hers - it’s the mum at school that asks you for a favour and you end up carting her kids to and from school every day.

....and who never offers or is never available to return the ‘favour’. Because weeks of favours equal one from a CF.

ve got a friend who has asked me to :
walk their dog
look after their dog at my house
water their flowers while away
pick up their kid/drop off to school
baby sit
borrow money
borrow random things
go food shopping for them
feed their cats while away
help with their gardening
help wallpaper their bedroom
take stuff to the local tip with them
pick up furniture they brought off ebay
There's other stuff but its too outing

To me, this is normal friendship stuff!

I had one friend who was a SAHM, when I worked nights. I would do the school run for my DC, then go home to bed. She kept asking me to take her DC to school along with mine.

Now, to some, this might seem like CFery, and I admit it irritated me a little sometimes.

As the DC grew up though, my DD became an absolute handful (ADHD) and has never really slept at night.

This particular friend is one of two people who have ever had my DD to stay the night.

Sometimes it can seem one sided, but in true friendship, it will end up being reciprocated.

@HelloTreacle9

I think sometimes once people realise you're a soft touch/way too nice/a bit of a people pleaser, CF-ery can just escalate. The brazenness is almost admirable. I had one ex-friend who once asked if I could babysit her kids one evening so she could have a night out. No problem. Then it turned into could they have a sleepover at mine so she didn't have to rush home. Fine, they all got on, no problem. Then asked if she could actually drop them after lunch rather than early evening. Er, OK, of course. Then she arrived to drop them off and asked if she could borrow a pricey jacket of mine to wear out (she had no jacket with her, it was winter, she was expecting me to say yes). I did indeed say yes. Then she didn't collect the kids until lunchtime the next day as she had a hangover. Jacket was stained. And it later turned out that she'd been out with mutual friends, but hadn't told me about the plans, presumably because she needed me to be 24-hour childcare rather than joining them... She's no longer a friend, for much worse transgressions!

That's reminded me of the time I agreed to babysit for my friend so she could go out to celebrate her birthday with her husband. When I got there, a whole load of friends turned up to collect her. I was good enough to ask to babysit, not good enough to invite out to celebrate.

I dated a guy who was a CF about asking people for stuff. He knew exactly what he was doing, but his motto was 'if you don't ask you don't get'. It was amazing watching people do things for him, although usually it was women who thought he was flirting with them. One of the many reasons we didn't date for long!

All his family were like that though including his young children, they were wealthy and used to just flashing cash around as a way to get people to do things for them. They just saw being a CF as natural.

However, it was hilarious when two or more of them had different wants or needs. Nobody would back down and all involved parties wouldn't know how to resolve it, they were just so used to getting their own way. It was a CF black hole if you will

Luckily I don’t have many of these tales- I tend to suss out users quite quickly and put on a grumpier persona so they never attempt to ask.

Unfortunately, through an ex friend I have enough of these tales to write a small book in regards to her (oddly) still current boyfriend.

We met him on holiday. He tried it on with multiple girls before finally “settling” with her (I had been chatting to his mate so this was confirmed). Went on dates with her but always forgot his wallet. Insisted on things being 50:50 if it was “his turn” to pay. Never did nice stuff for her. Went to work in another country and went silent for months, before starting up chats with her close to his return date back home. He needed a place to stay so of course he had to get back in the good books.

He was also quite manipulative and constantly lied.

There was another night where we are fairly certain he stole money from a friend’s bag as well as the house key that we needed to get into her house with. We were sat outside for 2 hours in winter wearing nothing more than a dress and a pair of heels each, waiting for him and ex friend to eventually come home, despite ringing and texting them saying that he had took the house key and we needed him to return it to us so we could get into the house. He had the key but of course proclaimed there was no money in the bag .

I am no longer friends with said girl due to growing apart but his behaviour was so, so appalling. I’m saddened they’re still together because I find it highly unlikely he has changed an iota. Worst bit was, on nights out I literally told him on several occasions he was a piece of shit for the way he was acting. Did it shame him into changing? No. He looked sheepish for all of 5 minutes then resumed his normal behaviour. And, of course, he came from a wealthy family where his dad had great connections so it didn’t make any difference that he dossed through his uni course. He was always going to get a fabulous grad job after regardless.

My SIL seems to think her and her family are so important we should just pay for things for them. For context this is a woman who can hardly bring herself to talk to my children, but thinks I should be totally obsessed with hers.

She once booked a weekend a way for us all without consulting us. Rang us to tell us we needed to pay our half (suspect it was more like 4/5ths). Sadly for her we were in Thailand and couldn’t go (and didn’t want to). Told everyone we had ripped them off and spoiled their only holiday as apparently I was meant to babysit her kids all weekend. Her sister went with her, didn’t ask for her money as apparently you ‘don’t ask family for money’ .
Currently pissed as we aren’t giving her children money for uni, doesn’t even send DD a birthday card.

I have a current ‘friend’ who spends a lot of time complaining about how her and her DH can’t go out, can’t have weekends away because she hasn’t got anyone to take her children ‘hint hint’. We are in the same position but she’s not slightly interested in my predicament. I just ignore her.
We were friendly but she complained her DD couldn’t come round to play when DH was very unwell in hospital as she liked ‘having a quiet weekend’ and did I have to go visit?

My brother's friend is unbelievably tight. She hops out of taxis early so she doesn't have to pay on a night out, goes to the toilet when its her round and went on her brother's honeymoon with the happy couple and SHARED THEIR ROOM TO SAVE MONEY. I shit you not.