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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a small child high and dry?

496 replies

SewhereIam · 13/09/2021 13:33

I give a lift to a boy in my dd's class, and drop him off after school. They live 30 mins from school, so I drive 20 mins in the wrong direction and then 30 mins on to school, and the same in the afternoon. We live a 10 min drive from school so it adds 40 mins to our morning.

I don't pick up my dd one evening after school, and don't drop off the following morning, due to ex--p's access. The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged.

The child is always ready on time and is a lovely little boy, but nothing is contributed towards petrol etc and, while I don't expect it, I thought it was a short term thing while she sorted out suitable transport. It turns out I seem to be that suitable transport and she expects this for the rest of the school year!

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

OP posts:
MaggieFS · 13/09/2021 17:00

Oh my goodness. You just say, no sorry, it was supposed to be a one off!

WitchBaby · 13/09/2021 17:01

I am the PP and I wasn't suggesting anything. Don't do that, like putting words into my mouth.

Huh? Bollockstothat made the comment about SpanGran Confused

Sidehustle99 · 13/09/2021 17:10

Tell her you have plans the next day and the next. She will take a hint. Also mention that school are asking if there's something wrong her end they need to be concerned about given she seems unable to get her child to school. That should prompt some action. Otherwise just tell her she's taking the piss.

QueenBee52 · 13/09/2021 17:16

a simple...

No ..

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 13/09/2021 17:17

With all due respect OP time to forget you are a lady and tell her to fuck right off.

TheRebelle · 13/09/2021 17:19

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child

Eeeerrrrr why? 🤨

waterlego · 13/09/2021 17:19

@Battlingongraciously, I think PP just means a previous poster, as opposed to specifically the person who posted directly before the comment referring to PP.

GreyhoundG1rl · 13/09/2021 17:22

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child
She certain chose her victim well.

Battlingongraciously · 13/09/2021 17:24

Interested to hear what happens, but I think the suggestion of a cut off point is the best way to deal with it.

diddl · 13/09/2021 17:25

@TheRebelle

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child

Eeeerrrrr why? 🤨

I don't get that either.

She has no compunction at all in expecting Op to go out of her way & I doubt would even think about doing Op the smallest of favours!

Lockdownbear · 13/09/2021 17:26

The school wouldn't hand over a random child to another parent without written agreement from the child's mum.

While the school might not know who's mum, ie confidently put face to the name in the first week. I'd be surprised at a child happily going with a random woman. Not to mention how did Op know where she was taking the small child too. And yes I can see car seats could be an issue - how many mums carry spare seats with them all of the time.

Youarethecurry · 13/09/2021 17:30

The people who live in my STREET have never offered to give my son a lift to school, they drive their kids to the school and he gets the bus. I wouldn't ask them either. This is totally abnormal situation OP. You are being totally taken advantage of.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/09/2021 17:33

Why can’t she take her own child to school?

Unless she’s recently had major surgery or is disabled, this is unacceptable… and even then she needs to sort out a long term plan.

Changechangychange · 13/09/2021 17:34

@Battlingongraciously Are you saying you are also posting on this thread as Bollockstothat? Confused

I was explaining the SpanGran comment. Because somebody asked who SpanGran was, and it isn’t immediately obvious unless you remember those threads. If you didn’t make that comment, I wasn’t talking about you.

Tumbleweed101 · 13/09/2021 17:36

If the mum has genuine issues with transport the school should be able to help her.

NewPapaGuinea · 13/09/2021 17:37

Consider my gob absolutely smacked with the sheer brass neck of this mother.

furbabymama87 · 13/09/2021 17:42

If this is real, you're crazy OP.

blueskytoday06 · 13/09/2021 17:43

Why can't mum take him? Or dad?

Viviennemary · 13/09/2021 17:48

She is a total cf. Tell her you are no longer able to take a detour. You thought it was a short term thing or you would never havd agreed in thd first place.

TopBlogger · 13/09/2021 17:51

Oh fgs

Again, in "Never Happened Land" this is 100% true

IvySneezes · 13/09/2021 17:51

@TooMuchPaper

Everyday is a doormat day on MN.
Omg this! Grin the CF mum is taking you for an epic MUG! If you carry on just get it tattooed on your forehead and hand your spine in at the door GrinGrin
flibberyjibbery8 · 13/09/2021 17:59

What a CF!!!!!

Hodge00079 · 13/09/2021 17:59

Cheeky to expect it. Never mind rest of year.

No need for excuses. Just say you assumed it was a one off. Give her a days notice. It is insane to expect a stranger to drive 20 minutes in the wrong direction. Worse still not even offering petrol.

MsTSwift · 13/09/2021 18:00

Hard to believe. No one is actually this wet.

3luckystars · 13/09/2021 18:08

Unbelievable.

Can you explain how this came about a bit more please. Thank you.