Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a small child high and dry?

496 replies

SewhereIam · 13/09/2021 13:33

I give a lift to a boy in my dd's class, and drop him off after school. They live 30 mins from school, so I drive 20 mins in the wrong direction and then 30 mins on to school, and the same in the afternoon. We live a 10 min drive from school so it adds 40 mins to our morning.

I don't pick up my dd one evening after school, and don't drop off the following morning, due to ex--p's access. The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged.

The child is always ready on time and is a lovely little boy, but nothing is contributed towards petrol etc and, while I don't expect it, I thought it was a short term thing while she sorted out suitable transport. It turns out I seem to be that suitable transport and she expects this for the rest of the school year!

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

OP posts:
SafferUpNorth · 13/09/2021 16:19

@Bollockstothat

Ah well, maybe the mother has a Span Gran who can take the child instead.
Pardon my ignorance, but what is a Span Gran? Curious!
cookingisoverrated · 13/09/2021 16:19

Hilarious.

Just say no.

I'd quietly alert the school to what's going on, too.

GreyhoundG1rl · 13/09/2021 16:21

@cookingisoverrated

Hilarious.

Just say no.

I'd quietly alert the school to what's going on, too.

If this is really happening, the school couldn't possibly be unaware. They don't hand the kids over to the first adult who asks.
sloutside · 13/09/2021 16:22

If this is true, just say no.
Why on earth would you keep doing this?
It's difficult to believe.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 13/09/2021 16:26

You realise that is £1600 in time at National min wage plus £1 for petrol approximately per year?

Battlingongraciously · 13/09/2021 16:27

@SewhereIam

I give a lift to a boy in my dd's class, and drop him off after school. They live 30 mins from school, so I drive 20 mins in the wrong direction and then 30 mins on to school, and the same in the afternoon. We live a 10 min drive from school so it adds 40 mins to our morning.

I don't pick up my dd one evening after school, and don't drop off the following morning, due to ex--p's access. The mother of the other child has said I still need to do her school run as she has no other way of him getting to or from school. He is reception aged.

The child is always ready on time and is a lovely little boy, but nothing is contributed towards petrol etc and, while I don't expect it, I thought it was a short term thing while she sorted out suitable transport. It turns out I seem to be that suitable transport and she expects this for the rest of the school year!

I feel bad for saying that I will not collect her child.

So how do you feel now you have read all of the comments SewhereIam? Are you going to say no? I think I agree with the cut off point, give her a date so she can arrange something. Hope you are ok, you've been very kind.
Changechangychange · 13/09/2021 16:30

@SafferUpNorth there was a very long series of threads about five years ago involving somebody claiming their Grade 2 listed house had been partially demolished by their NDNs in the night, which rapidly jumped the shark with her spanish grandmother turning up and making everybody a paella, amongst other things. Everybody got very invested, turned out to be a complete fabrication from start to finish.

The PP is suggesting OP is embellishing the story, with the unquestioning school, free availability of spare car seats for spontaneous child collection, and surprisingly large distances involved for a primary-aged child.

MoveOnTheCards · 13/09/2021 16:31

Maybe OP is on the school run. She could be some time...

Battlingongraciously · 13/09/2021 16:34

What is the PP?

Fraine · 13/09/2021 16:35

OP, what have you decided to do?

appleturnovers · 13/09/2021 16:35

Doesn't the council have a responsibility to provide transport?

And if they don't (because they're outside the catchment area and had closer options) then that's their own problem to sort out.

SafferUpNorth · 13/09/2021 16:38

[quote Changechangychange]@SafferUpNorth there was a very long series of threads about five years ago involving somebody claiming their Grade 2 listed house had been partially demolished by their NDNs in the night, which rapidly jumped the shark with her spanish grandmother turning up and making everybody a paella, amongst other things. Everybody got very invested, turned out to be a complete fabrication from start to finish.

The PP is suggesting OP is embellishing the story, with the unquestioning school, free availability of spare car seats for spontaneous child collection, and surprisingly large distances involved for a primary-aged child.[/quote]
Aha, OK, thanks for clarifying! We'll await the OP's return from uber-long school run. Must say I'm rather invested / intrigued !

TheOnlyMrsM · 13/09/2021 16:40

@Battlingongraciously

What is the PP?
Previous poster
Lulu1919 · 13/09/2021 16:41

If he lives that far away he might be eligible for free school transport....if it's his catchment school ?

Confusedandshaken · 13/09/2021 16:45

You need to rethink this. You won't be letting a small child down in any way. His parents will be if they can't make other plans but that's their problem not yours.

icedcoffees · 13/09/2021 16:46

@Fraine

OP, what have you decided to do?
Nothing, because it's nonsense.

The school wouldn't hand over a random child to another parent without written agreement from the child's mum.

Tirediam · 13/09/2021 16:47

💩

Crazycrazylady · 13/09/2021 16:48

Omg
You need to stop this now. What a cf the mother is

TreeTed · 13/09/2021 16:48

Fuck me. I guess the 1% who voted YABU is the CF mum. How can she possible think you want to do 40mins when you don’t have your own children let along any other day. She really does win CFer of the year

LagunaBubbles · 13/09/2021 16:49

Thank you all. I thought I was lacking in "all pull together" spirit by being cheesed off by it. Glad to see it's normal to feel like this!

Its worrying you thought you weren't!

WitchBaby · 13/09/2021 16:50

@Bollockstothat

Ah well, maybe the mother has a Span Gran who can take the child instead.

As long as Merry hell didn't break loose....

ItsSnowJokes · 13/09/2021 16:52

She is a massive cheeky fucker. If she was your next door neighbour fair enough but driving 20 minutes away not a chance I would be doing that. Just say as if x date you can't do lifts anymore and leave her to it. She will have to walk her child to school herself.

Battlingongraciously · 13/09/2021 16:52

[quote Changechangychange]@SafferUpNorth there was a very long series of threads about five years ago involving somebody claiming their Grade 2 listed house had been partially demolished by their NDNs in the night, which rapidly jumped the shark with her spanish grandmother turning up and making everybody a paella, amongst other things. Everybody got very invested, turned out to be a complete fabrication from start to finish.

The PP is suggesting OP is embellishing the story, with the unquestioning school, free availability of spare car seats for spontaneous child collection, and surprisingly large distances involved for a primary-aged child.[/quote]
I am the PP and I wasn't suggesting anything. Don't do that, like putting words into my mouth.

Eeiliethya · 13/09/2021 16:58

I wouldn't even embellish, just ring/text and say after tomorrow you won't be able to offer lifts. Toodlepip!

Can't get over this shite.

1AngelicFruitCake · 13/09/2021 16:58

I’m Shocked you agreed to this. Are you a massive people pleaser? I am but this is on another level!