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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be offended if someone left your wedding half way through the day because they're unwell ?

156 replies

robbie1999 · 12/09/2021 22:38

This happened to me a couple of weeks back. I was very unwell ( not covid ) and decided to pull myself together to go to a wedding. After the drinks reception, I had to go home as I became too unwell.

I sent my apologies to the bride and groom and parents afterward with flowers. Is that OK ? Would you think I was an idiot ?

OP posts:
Suzypoo10 · 14/09/2021 19:01

One member of my family left during the meal because her husband didn’t like the food (roast beef) and their toddler son was grizzly and another left immediately after the ceremony to go shopping, so he and his family were in none of the photos (his daughter was a flower girl) and they returned just in time for the meal.

Redlizzie77 · 14/09/2021 19:07

No, I do not think you’re an idiot at all. The only idiot in this situation is your bloody unsympathetic husband. Pity it wasn’t the other way round because I wonder if he would have, “stuck it out”.

I seriously can’t believe that he’s almost blaming you for being ill because for some bizarre reason he is under the impression that you both looked stupid. Nobody normal would think you looked stupid because you were really unwell. I’m sorry but your hubby sounds like a right tosser!

Tigger1895 · 14/09/2021 19:09

Your husband is offended because you were sick? Wow, thanks for your support and understanding honey.

Allybob88 · 14/09/2021 19:11

Yanbu.
I went to our friends wedding was absolutely fine, got to after the ceremony and I suddenly started being violently sick, got through the meal with frequent trips to be sick and then left took to the hotel bed and didn't return.
I had to force my oh to stay and enjoy himself as he was worried about me and all I wanted to do was sleep!!
My friends were not bothered at all, they were enjoying there wedding far too much to care where I was!

Your oh needs a grip.

HeronLanyon · 14/09/2021 19:15

In what world is being too unwell to stay somewhere not a reason to leave ?
I think you handled it perfectly.

niugboo · 14/09/2021 19:20

Personally I would be livid that you had come when you were ill.

That’s the totally unacceptable on every level part.

Original poster
robbie1999 · 14/09/2021 19:22

@niugboo

Personally I would be livid that you had come when you were ill.

That’s the totally unacceptable on every level part.

Oh wow. Chill out..
OP posts:
Plumtree391 · 14/09/2021 19:25

You can't help being unwell; you made a good effort, that's what counts.

pinkpantherpink · 14/09/2021 19:31

Your husband is being unreasonable

You probably shouldn't have gone in the first place and let him go alone. You probably extended the period of unwellness by trying to please others. Hope you are better x

I think it was a lovely gesture to send flowers x

thinkbiglittleone · 14/09/2021 19:34

No my heavily pregnant friend did it at ours, if your ill, yes go home, don't stay looking and feeling ill.

Mymapuddlington · 14/09/2021 19:37

Your husband is clearly a tit. Tell him next time you will faint, cough and vomit on guests as that would clearly be less embarrassing.

lazylinguist · 14/09/2021 19:39

Your husband sounds horrible.

HypocriteHunter · 14/09/2021 19:48

niugboo
Personally I would be livid that you had come when you were ill.

That’s the totally unacceptable on every level part.

Reasonable enough in that poster’s opinion.

Your response?

Oh wow. Chill out..

You asked, as a ftp, in AIBU, if anyone would be offended if you left due to being ill.

Someone stated that they would rather you hadn’t come at all. So did a few others.

If you ask for opinions then you don’t always get to have ones that blow smoke up your arse.

No need to be passive aggressive with your wows.

Original poster
robbie1999 · 14/09/2021 19:51

@HypocriteHunter

niugboo Personally I would be livid that you had come when you were ill.

That’s the totally unacceptable on every level part.

Reasonable enough in that poster’s opinion.

Your response?

Oh wow. Chill out..

You asked, as a ftp, in AIBU, if anyone would be offended if you left due to being ill.

Someone stated that they would rather you hadn’t come at all. So did a few others.

If you ask for opinions then you don’t always get to have ones that blow smoke up your arse.

No need to be passive aggressive with your wows.

It's a bit of an extreme response I think.. good thing there is freedom of speech for all of us hey.
OP posts:
HypocriteHunter · 14/09/2021 19:55

good thing there is freedom of speech for all of us hey.

Yet someone else’s freedom of speech warranted a snarky response eh?

Frothmeister.

Original poster
robbie1999 · 14/09/2021 20:07

@HypocriteHunter

good thing there is freedom of speech for all of us hey.

Yet someone else’s freedom of speech warranted a snarky response eh?

Frothmeister.

Yeah that's the beauty of it. Anyone can write whatever they like !
OP posts:
HypocriteHunter · 14/09/2021 20:16

Really?

That is useful.

As I said ftp frothmeister.

Well done. Objection achieved.

Original poster
robbie1999 · 14/09/2021 20:16

@HypocriteHunter

Really?

That is useful.

As I said ftp frothmeister.

Well done. Objection achieved.

I don't know what that means. But I'll assume it's something really complimentary. Grin
OP posts:
Disfordarkchocolate · 14/09/2021 20:18

I don't think they will have even noticed.

HypocriteHunter · 14/09/2021 20:19

Reddit is that way ➡️

StrangeToSee · 14/09/2021 20:25

It’s fine, provided the bride and groom etc don’t think you were ill because you were drunk! Eg nausea and vomiting is a bit suspicious at weddings. But even if alcohol related, at least you were responsible and went home.

Saxineno · 14/09/2021 20:31

No, I had someone leave my wedding, one of my best friends, because her son was ill. I was gutted she was missing out but no blame. Just one of those things.

Mollymoostoo · 14/09/2021 21:00

@robbie1999

I didn't want to go in the first place, but he really pushed and said- don't worry- we will stay as long as you feel OK to. Then when I indicated I wasn't feeling better, he kept trying to prolong the stay.

Now we can't even talk about the wedding anymore Sad he is so upset and ashamed. I really don't see why it's such a problem at all. Hence why I wanted to see if I was being ridiculous, because he's so upset about it.

Sounds like my DH tbh Won't go alone even when I'm not up to it, hardly talks to me whilst there and then gets angry when I want to leave. I remind him that I'm not his comfort blanket.
Lokdok · 14/09/2021 21:30

He’s being an idiot, if you were unwell you had to leave. Depending what it was, yabu for going in the first place if it was something potentially contagious. He should have gone on his own. I hope you feel better!

Bertiebiscuit · 14/09/2021 22:32

Your husband is the problem here - why is he so unsupportive and disloyal to you - I think if he was a caring partner he would have comforted you and got you home with as little fuss as possible, and He should have informed his relatives that you were too unwell to stay - mmmm mm he's a bit sh*t isn't he

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