Would you be offended if someone left your wedding half way through the day because they're unwell ?

[robbie1999]

This happened to me a couple of weeks back. I was very unwell ( not covid ) and decided to pull myself together to go to a wedding. After the drinks reception, I had to go home as I became too unwell.

I sent my apologies to the bride and groom and parents afterward with flowers. Is that OK ? Would you think I was an idiot ?

I’m saddened that your h was more bothered about his image/standing than your welfare

You said for him to stay, he refused then is berating you

You are not being unreasonable HE is a mahoosive knob.

When You’re better, tear him off a strip for being such a selfish and unfeeling prick

I really don't understand why he thinks it's anything to be ashamed about. Would he have been offended if one of his relatives had had to leave part way through your wedding due to illness?

Op what is your DH like the rest of the time?

I only ask because someone in my family was married to a bloke who went to several formal fixed social events throughout the year that were related to his job and his hobby. On one of these occasions my relative became unwell and she had to go home in the middle of a party and he was an absolute idiot about it. He was angry, he sulked, he slammed the car door when driving her home (I know this because I was with them, God knows what he would have done had they been alone!). Anyway, it turns out that this was a massive red flag and he turned out to be an abusive arse and she had to leave him abruptly one night in the clothes she was wearing at the time, when his temper got seriously out of hand.

Why was your DH ashamed? Was it his boss's wedding or something or that of his closest friend? Was he a best man or something? Or were you just "ruining" his opportunity to drink and have fun? I would be really careful here op. You couldn't help being unwell and the fact that he pushed you to go in the first place when you were unwell speaks volumes. Your DH lacks basic compassion.

There is obvs a massive back story as this is not normal behavior. Is he always so controlling? Who has said something to him about it?

Either way how sad he put his childish feelings above your health.

There is something wrong with him.
Upset, ashamed and embarrassed because you were ill?
No. He's the problem.

He's being very weird.

Is someone like his DM or something making him feel this way.

A normal reaction would be to be worried about you not embarrassed.

Are there other areas of your relationship that make you feel uncomfortable.

Are you allowed to wear the clothes you want, see the friends and family you want, do the job you want, raise your DC the way you'd like.

It was really kind of you to send flowers afterwards. I would understand, and I wouldn't have expected flowers.

I'd be happy you left but I think you shouldn't have gone at all . Your husband is an idiot of course it's not embarrassing you did the right thing

Sorry OP, I really think that that it's your husband who is the idiot.
You were not well. Unfortunately whatever nasties you may have had would never had any respect for the fact that you were busy.
If i was feeling ill I personally would not have gone.
I don't see any reason why the bride and groom would be upset . They certainly had their own things to concentrate on and if you had stayed and spread the germs to everyone else you would not have been popular.
I'd like to think that dh just explained discretely that you were poorly and he needed to take you home but ... ?
I certainly would not have sent flowers to B&G or their parents.
I may have sent a card to B&G just saying, Thank you for inviting us. I was so sorry to have to leave. I did not want to risk making anyone else ill.
Hope you had a wonderful time, I look forward to seeing photos. X

What were you ill with? If it’s something contagious I’d be very annoyed you’d come in the first place

I don't want to go into detail. But it's not contagious. I wore a mask anyway whilst inside though. In case anyone later maybe worried that it was.

@PalmarisLongus

I wish id left mine half way through the service, or at least before the "I pronounce you man and wife bit"

I think you're good op. You did more than most by sending flowers and such, I'd have likely just snuck off and forgot it.

That really made me chuckle! I hope things have gone onwards and upwards since then!

@coffeeisthebest

Thanks. After the wedding came 6 months of happiness.. then discoveries on phones.. drama, split, divorce... I went on happily with someone else, had a child, lived happily for a year or 2... Then the discoveries and the split and the loss of job and sole parenting... I'm done with it all now, staying single.. lol

@PalmarisLongus. Goodness, fair enough.

Of course not.. Although I would rather, if it was something contagious, you hadn't gone to begin with, if it was my wedding as I wouldn't want to fall ill after it!

There is some very weird dynamic going on here, either between your H and his family (he sounds scared of them!) or between the two of you. Is he normally an unfeeling bully?

No. Not rude at all. Lovely of you to send flowers.

YANBU
Vomming on the bride or similar=YABU

Why on earth would anyone be offended? I probably wouldn't have noticed unless it was the maid of honour, my parents or the groom
(Although I would prefer you quietly slipped away, not made a large song and dance- not saying you did, just a general note).

If I was close to them I'd be upset and feel bad because I'd want them to be there and have a nice time and they were feeling poorly so that's awful. I wouldn't be offended though. It sounds like you're not that close though so in the nicest way, I doubt it made a lot of difference to them right? Your partner is being an idiot. I'm sure everyone just hoped you were ok and then continued the event.

I think that you're amazing for struggling through the first half.
You deserve a medal for desperately trying to put your best foot forward and for being brave. You deserved empathy. You did not deserve to be moaned at. It's hard enough feeling ill without having guilt heaped on you. You have my sympathy.

At my wedding the best man fell ill. He left - rightly as he really couldn’t go on.

It was fine. Just one of those things

You did the right thing definitely.

@robbie1999

This happened to me a couple of weeks back. I was very unwell ( not covid ) and decided to pull myself together to go to a wedding. After the drinks reception, I had to go home as I became too unwell.

I sent my apologies to the bride and groom and parents afterward with flowers. Is that OK ? Would you think I was an idiot ?

Why would anyone be offended.

If someone is I'll then it's better they go home surely

I dont think anyone wants to be around sick people at the minute covid or not. So i think they will be thankful if anything