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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I bought those drinks not him!

118 replies

discusstin · 12/09/2021 19:11

I went to a friend’s party at the weekend and took a bottle of spirits and a mixer.

I was retrieving them from the boot of my car when another party guest, Phil, (not his real name) came over and took both bottles saying “Here, let me.” I closed the boot, hurried after him and caught up just before the door where I said “Ok thanks I’ll take these now” and he didn’t hand them over but just walked in and gave them to the party hosts! Later on one of the hosts said “Oh by the way Phil, thanks for the rum!” and he took the thanks. He turned to me and said “Oh, was it rum? I thought it was wine!”

I’m pissed off. They were not cheap and it looks like I took nothing to the party. I hadn’t the heart to say “Actually I bought those” as it seemed to awkward.

AIBU for being so pissed off?

OP posts:
Original poster
discusstin · 12/09/2021 19:12
  • too
OP posts:
20viona · 12/09/2021 19:13

He's a CF but you should absolutely have spoken up.

Janaih · 12/09/2021 19:13

Omg I am livid on your behalf what a prize CF Phil is!

saveforthat · 12/09/2021 19:14

YABU you should have said actually I brought the rum.

LagneyandCasey · 12/09/2021 19:15

You should have said you bought it.

Contact the host now and ask if they enjoyed the rum that YOU took.

GobbleHobble · 12/09/2021 19:17

Easy for me to suggest now because I'd have been flabbergasted at the cheek, but you could have said something like "great, glad you like what I brought here as I wasn't sure if rum was to everyone's taste. But I'm glad I bought that rather than the wine now I know you like it".

As it stands I probably would have said something awkward like "erm, I bought that for you".

Which I'm not sure is better.

But you shouldn't have left Mr CF to take the thanks.

Janaih · 12/09/2021 19:17

Agree contact host right now and rectify this outrage.

HeckyPeck · 12/09/2021 19:18

@LagneyandCasey

You should have said you bought it.

Contact the host now and ask if they enjoyed the rum that YOU took.

I would do this too.
takehomepay · 12/09/2021 19:21

Text them now saying you’re really upset Phil pretended the drinks were from him and ask if he is always such a sick?

DrSbaitso · 12/09/2021 19:21

Surely he rumbled himself by that exchange with you about it being rum, not wine?

But yes, you should have said something at the time. You still could.

milkytwilight · 12/09/2021 19:22

Text the host and say "thanks for a great night, was nice to catch up, hope you liked the rum!"

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 12/09/2021 19:22

Maybe a text-gosh, I’m never buying rum and bringing it to a party of yours again! Suffering from it today!🤢

Florelei · 12/09/2021 19:23

Oh no! Yes text the host and explain.

RogueV · 12/09/2021 19:23

I’m more shocked that you didn’t say anything Confused

Ninkanink · 12/09/2021 19:24

YANBU to be pissed off! However absolutely should have just said it at the time!

God he’s a twat. But twats like that do things like that because a lot of people are too timid to just call them out on their twattery!

Original poster
discusstin · 12/09/2021 19:25

Glad it’s not just me. I’m such a doormat for not saying anything. The thing he said to me about thinking it was wine was not overheard. Shall I contact the host? Not even sure how to do it without sounding petty myself.

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 12/09/2021 19:26

Why wouldn't you say anything at the time? This is how CFs get away with their poor behaviour

MadeForThis · 12/09/2021 19:26

Maybe send a message and say that you enjoyed meeting everyone last night. They were all so nice. Phil even carried your drinks in from the car. Love rum at a party!!

takehomepay · 12/09/2021 19:29

Of course contact them! Key here is to show you’re upset.

‘Hi host, had a great time at your party, thanks for having me! I was a bit upset that Phil took the credit for the 2 bottles of spirit and mixer I brought with me. Is he always like that?! Anyway, never mind, it was a fun night! Look forward to seeing you soon xx’

Shodan · 12/09/2021 19:32

Depending on how well you know the friend who was hosting the party, I'd either go with @MadeForThis's suggestion, or ask if Phil always took credit for other people's offerings, with maybe a laughing emoji or something afterwards.

If you know them really well, I'd say what a cheeky fucker Phil was, making out that he'd bought the rum, when it was actually you.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 12/09/2021 19:33

Send a text. "Just to let you know that I brought the spirits and mixer, not Phil. Does he have a history of being like that?"

MaryHadALittleRam · 12/09/2021 19:35

@DrManhattan

Why wouldn't you say anything at the time? This is how CFs get away with their poor behaviour
Because you are just so shocked that someone could be that cheeky, you sort of stand there afterwards processing it Happened to me twice before I clicked and I'm quite vocal
Original poster
discusstin · 12/09/2021 19:36

Oh I know the party hosts really well. I know Phil too but only as a regular guest at their parties. Why I didn’t say something at the time is probably because we were in a crowded room and I was a bit gobsmacked at the cheek of it, but also because it just would have seemed a bit odd at that moment to shout “I bought those!” in a loud room so that I could be heard. Wish I had now though.

OP posts:
Janaih · 12/09/2021 19:36

This kind of twattery catches people on the back foot, it's so unexpected. That's how the phils of this world get away with it.
@takehomepays message is a good one. (I'd possibly lose the "anyway nevermind" bit. Maybe replace with a vague but useful "lol")

Original poster
discusstin · 12/09/2021 19:38

MaryHadALittleRam

Yes! Exactly!

OP posts: