I bought those drinks not him!

[discusstin]

I went to a friend’s party at the weekend and took a bottle of spirits and a mixer.

I was retrieving them from the boot of my car when another party guest, Phil, (not his real name) came over and took both bottles saying “Here, let me.” I closed the boot, hurried after him and caught up just before the door where I said “Ok thanks I’ll take these now” and he didn’t hand them over but just walked in and gave them to the party hosts! Later on one of the hosts said “Oh by the way Phil, thanks for the rum!” and he took the thanks. He turned to me and said “Oh, was it rum? I thought it was wine!”

I’m pissed off. They were not cheap and it looks like I took nothing to the party. I hadn’t the heart to say “Actually I bought those” as it seemed to awkward.

AIBU for being so pissed off?

@DeborahAnnabel

My god, I’d 100% contact the hosts via WhatsApp and say something along the lines of that you had a great time at the party followed by something like “by the way, really weird but I brought a bottle of rum and (whatever the other bottle was) and Phil grabbed them from me outside then handed them to you and pretended they were from him. Was just so odd 😂! Anyway didn’t want you to think I’d arrived empty handed”

No way would I be letting them think I’d arrived empty handed.

Absolutely this.

There is no way I would allow a CF like get away with something so deliberate.

That is just unbelievable 🙄

I've been in a comparable situation within the family. I said privately to the CF who'd been thanked, "X thinks you gave them that thing. We both know I did. Are you going to tell them that or do you want me to be the one they hear it from?"

That worked a treat. Best done on the spot, of course, but it can be done later.

If CF Phil laughs and says to let it go, you can tell the party host how he "helpfully" whipped the bottles out of your hands while you closed your boot, refused to give them back, accepted thanks for them and laughed at you when you asked him to come clean.

Meanwhile, get a distinctive floral bottle carrier for parties and put your initials on it!

I'd want to know if someone that was being invited to my home was mugging the guests on their way in for a gift to pass off as their own.🙄

Really unbelievable.

Now THAT is cringe worthy.

Definitely tell the hosts that you were so gobsmacked Phil took the bottles out of your hand and then pretended he brought them that you were stunned into silence! Make a joke out of it but also an incredulous story about what kind of friend Phil is! I once told a friend the horrible comment a bloke she had invited to her party made about another one of her friends when she was out of earshot and it immediately changed her view of him and she dropped him! Better they know!

If you haven’t already, couldn’t you just text along the lines of “hey, thanks for the party. I had such a lovely time. I’m so pleased you liked the rum, I didn’t have the heart to say it last night but I’d chosen that for you. Thanks again x”
There’s no need to call Phil out as such, just explain you didn’t want to embarrass him but are pleased the offering was well received.

What a shitty fraudster. At least you know he’s one to avoid. You must tell your friend what he did - so rude and deceitful. Fucking prick. Absolutely hate people like him, they make the world a difficult place for people who are too shocked/shy/confrontation avoider to expose their shitty behaviour.

When he was handing the bottles to the host I would have said to them "Thanks Phil for carrying the bottles in for me though there was no need really as I was perfectly capable of getting them out of the boot and taking them in myself" all while smiling oh so sweetly at him.

What a CF. I like takehomes text. Another one for texting the hostess now - in the guise of thanking them for the party.

I bet Phil is one of those that is AWOL when it's his round, insists on going twos with the gift you choose/bought/wrapped but never chips in his share and only wants to split the bill when he has scoffed 3 courses and cocktails to your one dish and water because you are driving.

I’d definitely tell the host what a CF he is! You can watch and intervene at future parties when he arrives with someone he’s waylaid outside.

I think you are doing the right thing by just asking her next time you se her. Don't make a weird joke about it, just ask her WTF it was all about.

OP, please expose this CF without delay. And update us when you do! A few decent suggestions here so just choose whichever approach suits best. The hosts, you, and twatface deserve the truth to come out!

I have a BIL like that. We have been mugged off loads over the years until we cottoned on to him.

Personally I would tell the hosts exactly what happened and how you felt about it. No you are not being petty, you took a gift and basically it and your generousity* was (kind of) stolen from you. I would want to know and it may bring up a lot of other CF things that Phil has done.

*can't think of a better way to say it

Tell the hosts you were so gobsmacked at the bare-arsed cheek of Phil at the time that you were rendered speechless, and that it was you who bought the rum, not he.

Big, big, big CF.
Text the hosts. " Thanks for the party. Glad you liked the rum I (not Phil) bought." Likely they already know he's a CF but that's tantamount to theft - of rum and thanks. What CFery!

God don’t say anything to the host it’s so so cringe. They don’t give a fuck who bought them.

No, bloody do say something to the host. That's such blatant dreadful behaviour. I'd like to know if I were a hist how my guests were treating each other.

I think it would bd be totally fine to let the host know that the rum was your contribution. Sending a text is a good way to do it - just saying its no big deal , you didn't mention at the time as you didn't want to sound petty but the rum was your contribution to the celebration and you heard Phil being thanked as he had thought he was being helpful when you were carrying stuff in. But anyway it's water under the bridge and was a great night.

Actually, who knows Phil better, you or the party hosts? If it's the hosts, it's likely he has form. A jokey question tacked onto a sincere thank you might do the trick.

"By the way, does Phil always scoop up bottles of booze other people (me!) are bringing to a party under the guise of 'helping' and pass them off as his own contribution? Cheeky so and so!'

Oh he knew what he was doing CF

@discusstin

Oh I know the party hosts really well. I know Phil too but only as a regular guest at their parties. Why I didn’t say something at the time is probably because we were in a crowded room and I was a bit gobsmacked at the cheek of it, but also because it just would have seemed a bit odd at that moment to shout “I bought those!” in a loud room so that I could be heard. Wish I had now though.

Tell it as a ‘funny anecdote’ next time you are at a table with Phil and hosts and plenty of others.. be prepared for denial and attack from Phil: don’t get riled, just be quietly amused at him. He’ll get angry and show himself up.

Imagine a guy came on here and said and box her head and ears. Nice

The horror

@OneTC

Imagine a guy came on here and said and box her head and ears. Nice

The horror

Well if he had mugged a woman for a gift that she was bringing to her friend I would call it self defense.😗🤷‍♀️

I've been on forums populated mostly by men. They say much worse and they aren't joking.

Send the hosts a text thanking them for a lovely time at their party and add that you really hope they liked the rum you got them

If you can't let it go (and I would struggle to, too) drop a text e.g. 'Did you have a good time at the party? Had an interesting chat with x and loved seeing x. Such a great time, thank you! ps. Gosh that Phil is brazen! Swooped in and claimed he brought the rum I'd got for you.'