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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Over DD’s passport

107 replies

AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters · 12/09/2021 16:19

ExDH wants to take the kids abroad to meet his gf’s parents in Spain in two weeks. I know the kids would love to go. I mentioned to him that he should check the expiration dates on the passports - which he denied having. He then texted me yesterday accusing me of lying about not having the kids’ passports. Eventually they were found at his mum’s house. DD’s passport is out of date. He asked me to apply online for a renewal, but I tried and it wouldn’t arrive in time. Now he wants me to take her to the local passport office to get the 7 day service. I am happy to do that but the only appointments are when I’m at work. I have said I can go after school or at the weekend. I explained I cannot take the day off because half the office is isolating and my boss would refuse. He just called me an ‘obstructive fucking cow’. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to call in sick to sort a passport he should be doing himself? I am so angry I’m not thinking straight.

OP posts:
DressBitch · 12/09/2021 16:19

Stop helping at all.

His holiday; his problem.

CliffordMystery · 12/09/2021 16:21

Well obviously he needs to do it if he wants to go. Full stop.

Theworldisquiethere · 12/09/2021 16:21

Why can’t he do it himself?

LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 12/09/2021 16:22

Yep.
His holiday, his problem.

Dont accept ANY blame and do not "protect the kids"
tell the kids straight that he messed up if he tries to pin it on you.

BabbleBee · 12/09/2021 16:22

If he wants to take her abroad then surely the responsibility of the necessary requirements to get there are his?

dementedpixie · 12/09/2021 16:23

He can do the renewal himself if he's so desperate to take them on holiday

DismantledKing · 12/09/2021 16:23

He’s still attempting to control you.
As PP said: his holiday, his problem.

GnomeyGnome · 12/09/2021 16:24

He can take her. Twat.

Cattitudes · 12/09/2021 16:24

His holiday, his problem. Why does he think you should do it? Probably thinks all the millions he is paying in child support should pay for the passport.

RussianSpy101 · 12/09/2021 16:24

He can do it himself. Will he also be covering the school fines if this is term time?

Wole · 12/09/2021 16:25

Why can't he take her to sort it?

AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters · 12/09/2021 16:26

@Theworldisquiethere because he is an overgrown manchild who expects things to be done for him

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 12/09/2021 16:26

Why would you be the one to go in the first place? I'm on friendly terms with my DCs dad but if he wanted to take them on holiday he'd have to organise going to the Passport office, isn't that what everyone would do? Why would I spend my time on it? Confused

AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters · 12/09/2021 16:27

@Wole he is ‘working’ but he is self employed so he thinks I should take the day off since I will be paid.

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 12/09/2021 16:28

[quote AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]@Theworldisquiethere because he is an overgrown manchild who expects things to be done for him[/quote]
And you're prepared to enable him, I'm finding it hard to be sympathetic tbh unless there's something else you havent said.

Ifyoudontlikeitdosomethingelse · 12/09/2021 16:29

[quote AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]@Theworldisquiethere because he is an overgrown manchild who expects things to be done for him[/quote]
If you know this OP, then you can stop pandering to it.

Leave it to him.

BlackTee40 · 12/09/2021 16:30

Why can't he take the day off to do it? Cheeky cunt.

Auroreforet · 12/09/2021 16:30

I would just laugh in his face.

DarkDarkNight · 12/09/2021 16:31

Wow, stop helping. You’ve been more than reasonable, he’s a man-child and not your problem.

Wole · 12/09/2021 16:32

[quote AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]@Theworldisquiethere because he is an overgrown manchild who expects things to be done for him[/quote]
Hahaha! I see! I'd just tell him to let you know when he wants DD to be available to sort it.

Wole · 12/09/2021 16:32

[quote AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]@Wole he is ‘working’ but he is self employed so he thinks I should take the day off since I will be paid.[/quote]
Your work is none of his business.

titchy · 12/09/2021 16:33

Why in earth did you say you'd be happy to do it at the weekend or whenever. His holiday, his responsibility. End of. Confused

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 12/09/2021 16:33

More likely he doesn't want to pay the fast track fee... Ds just paid 175 quid! Leave him to sort the entire organisation..

Noshowlomo · 12/09/2021 16:33

What a fucking prick.
“You need them to have passports to take them on holiday. Great, they’ll have an amazing time with you but it’s your holiday that you’re arranging. YOU will need to arrange a quicker passport. It’s unfortunate that it was out of date but as it was in your mothers house I wasn’t to know when it expired. I have no plans on taking them away until xxxxx so this passport isn’t my concern but it’s definitely yours”

Notimeforaname · 12/09/2021 16:33

Just tell him no again.
His holiday. His responsibility.

I too would laugh at him..He can take the day off.

Don't do or offer to do another thing op.